Get a Life Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 have you ever given a thought to the fact that your ex gf could be browsing this website also?
Author Mack05 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 have you ever given a thought to the fact that your ex gf could be browsing this website also? Get a life, I already have a life because I believe in myself again...In answer to your your question up until today, no I have never given a single thought to the fact that my ex could be browsing this site. I mean what are the odds? This is a site where people help each other get over tough breakups, share stories and vent, not a site where we hope our ex's come and look at what we post! Since you are a new member with a name like that, I can only assume two things. 1) You are my ex, which I HIGHLY doubt or 2) Most likely you are a wind up merchant and therefore your presence on the site is not appreciated or even wanted. We all help each other here. Yeah there may be one or two wind up merchants but in the main this is one of the best sites on the web. P.S just in case you are my ex please stop calling me! I mean 10 missed calls!!
Get a Life Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 (edited) In response to your assumptions, no I am not your ex, and no... you do not decide whose presence is appreciated or wanted on the website. In answer to your question, "I mean what are the odds?" The odds are that maybe your house mate, your ex, her friends, your friends (if you have any left after the breakup), maybe all these people are aware of your posts and threads. People who were close to you and your ex as a couple and who know both sides of the story. It's great that there are tools like this website where people can help each other and share their stories. The only problem is: your peers only know the story under your point of view. Have you been honest with yourself, fair to your ex and transparent to those people who read your posts, give and take advises from you? You say you believe in practising what you preach... That you haven't broken NC and your ex did. That you didn't answer her call and never will... That's great! Even when you have stated earlier how difficult it is to keep NC when you still think of someone. Maybe it's also difficult for her. Or maybe not! Have you thought the reason why she called you, was not because she wants to get back with you or wants to mess with your peace, but only because she isn't interested in the book you sent to her by post? You say you already have a live. That you have been in therapy, that you have got other interests and hobbies, that you are looking after yourself. What have you stated in therapy? That your ex suffers from bipolar disorder?? Have you been in therapy to look for answers for her problems or for your own problems? What kind of interests or hobbies have you got, if you spend all day (and probably night) in front of a computer feeding your obsession? It's good that you are looking for help, but you really have to move on. Go out! Make new friends (real ones, not only virtual friends)! Interact with people in the real world! Do something good for someone (someone who really need it, not to your ex who doesn't seem interested in your advises, in your statement of her mental illness or in your book). I know it can be difficult for you to make new friends, but try it in volunteer jobs. I am sure you will feel great for helping people who need it and you will feel how important you'll are to them. Change the focus, get out of that dark room of depression where you've placed yourself. Don't waste your precious days trying to understand and justify why your last relationship didn't work, just make sure you won't make the same mistakes in the next one. Take a good care of yourself. Edited June 15, 2011 by Get a Life
sun_moon Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Ok Get a Life, I think its time you stop ASSuming and leave him alone. Just because he's seeking help in many ways doesnt mean he's sitting in front of the PC all day obsessing. Part of moving on is seeking help, its part of the coping process. He is coping, he isnt completely over her, and I dont think he claimed that. Him not answering her calls is part of his healing process, because giving in to something that maybe innocent can bring back a flood of unnecessary emotions and set him back. There could be a number of reasons she may be calling him, but him wondering about them isnt conducive to his getting over her process and most importantly it doesnt matter. Did you not ready his reply carefully, he said he has many unanswered concerns and comments but he knows he will not get it from her and isnt going to try. Also, if I were you, I would not go as far as assuming he has no friends or hobbies, clearly you havent read enough of his posts and advice to see he is practicing what he preaches. Also, coming to LS is part of the healing process. I believe I've met the biggest HYPOCRITE ON LS now. Why are you on here then, just to play with peoples emotions and get a reaction out of them? Do us all a favor and don't make any more remarks, you obviously aren't looking for answers on here, your just looking to play around and mess with people. If you're not broken up and don't have any issues then you clearly need to GET A LIFE and stop antagonizing, patronizing, and torturing people.
Author Mack05 Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 Well Well Well. This is a surprise. How it's it going T?I hope your well..Only you know how many people we have in common that have read my threads on here. I'm sure my friends haven't unless you told them?. Believe me that was not my intention. I wanted to remain anonymous. I am presuming at some stage that you googled my old poker name and someone how get directed to here?!Either way I am baffled how you ever found me here. Anyway I wish now that I used a different alias, that was silly of me. But then again you blocked me from facebook, threatened my with the police so why on earth would you go checking up on me? Plus, I didn't realise just how important this site has become in my healing when I was registering. In answer to your questions. I have been very honest with myself. Whether I have been fair to you, only you can answer that. I believe I have told nothing but the truth but there are two sides to every story and I get that. Do I still have my friends? Indeed I do. I know you didn't see it much with us, but I am a popular guy and I have made a big effort with family and friends since our breakup. I don't need to make any more real friends. I already have enough, but thanks for the advice. I could come back with some snide remarks of my own, but I am better then that. I was pretty sure you would not have been interested in the book. I shouldn't have sent in hindsight, as I am not a professional and I have no right to diagnose you. I guess that was my addictive logic working over normal logic and me being codependent (caring when it's not wanted). At the time in my head I just wanted to help you, but it wasn't my place and that I apologise. I still have work to do on myself, I get that. Codependency and addictive personality are things that I will have to deal with my whole life. I have come along way, but I still have more work to do. Unlike you, I know exactly what my problems are and I am not in complete and utter self denial. My therapist didn't diagnose you with BPD. She made a guess and then I researched and I truly believe that you have the traits of a BPD sufferer (not that I ever expect you to admit this to yourself or listen to anything that I would say). I could sent you an email with all my research that would prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt but I am not going too. Why? because you ain't my problem no more T. I been in Therapy for 14 weeks, only in 3 of those weeks has your name been mentioned. The research I did took maybe 7 to 10 days so my days of obsessing over you are LONG gone. I admit I have spent alot of time on this site (healing myself and hopefully helping people) but the impression you have of my on my laptop day and night is very wrong my dear. I'm in the gym every morning and every evening. I am in great shape. I leave this city EVERY weekend to either see family, friends or surf. Oh I have a life believe me. I like the idea of the volunteering jobs, I know you mentioned that to me before. Great idea and a very worth cause. I used this website to help me heel. I told my story, there is nothing stopping you creating a new account and telling people your version. I have absolutely no problem with that. I made mistakes, I never said I didn't. If you look at my posts (via my profile) I have been at times very criticial of myself. What I won't be doing is going tit for tat with you on this site. No way I will bring this site down to that level. The last word is yours if you want it, I won't be replying. I feel sad leaving here as I feel I have helped people and they have helped me but after what's happened, I can no longer post here.. I hope one day you face your demons and stop running. I sincerely doubt it. I think your a coward and I can't see that ever changing. I have forgiven you, so I have no wish to meet you face to face or ever your voice again. I wish well in your life. I know you have a good heart and I want nothing but happiness for you. I appreciate your concern for me but there is no need to worry. I am doing good and it's only a matter of time before I am doing better than ever. I am off to Vancouver, Canada in the new year to start a new life for myself. It's a challenge in an amazing city that really excites me. I hope your Spanish dream comes through. Take Care T x
Author Mack05 Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 Ok Get a Life, I think its time you stop ASSuming and leave him alone. Just because he's seeking help in many ways doesnt mean he's sitting in front of the PC all day obsessing. Part of moving on is seeking help, its part of the coping process. He is coping, he isnt completely over her, and I dont think he claimed that. Him not answering her calls is part of his healing process, because giving in to something that maybe innocent can bring back a flood of unnecessary emotions and set him back. There could be a number of reasons she may be calling him, but him wondering about them isnt conducive to his getting over her process and most importantly it doesnt matter. Did you not ready his reply carefully, he said he has many unanswered concerns and comments but he knows he will not get it from her and isnt going to try. Also, if I were you, I would not go as far as assuming he has no friends or hobbies, clearly you havent read enough of his posts and advice to see he is practicing what he preaches. Also, coming to LS is part of the healing process. I believe I've met the biggest HYPOCRITE ON LS now. Why are you on here then, just to play with peoples emotions and get a reaction out of them? Do us all a favor and don't make any more remarks, you obviously aren't looking for answers on here, your just looking to play around and mess with people. If you're not broken up and don't have any issues then you clearly need to GET A LIFE and stop antagonizing, patronizing, and torturing people. It's my ex sunmoon. It was great to meet you and many others but for obvious reasons I need to leave this site. I wish you guys well..PM me anytime guys...
Happy_Days Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 It's my ex sunmoon. It was great to meet you and many others but for obvious reasons I need to leave this site. I wish you guys well..PM me anytime guys... It's my ex sunmoon. It was great to meet you and many others but for obvious reasons I need to leave this site. I wish you guys well..PM me anytime guys... Get a life is not your ex.. but I am! I have NO IDEA who "get a life is" to be honest with you, as all of my friends have been reading and entertaining themselves with your posts on this website, from the lies you keep telling everyone to your failed attempt of dating again.... you were the one who started involving my friends in the first place, remember? I will (If I feel like doing it) in the next few days post my version of the story here, maybe I wont..but if I do, it will be based on facts, even quoting you with extracts from emails/letter/fb messages to show people who you really are. Interesting to note how you pose here as a "good man" trying to "heal from a break up with someone cold and cruel". I once believed you had a good heart, and we both know how manipulating you are so you get people to agree with you.. but now I am 500% sure you don't have a good heart.. and its sad to see that you actually do not even know who you are and what you believe in! I have the feeling you play "roles" in your life.. one day you are the strict and moralist guy who has so much to say about one night stands and how wrong they are for instance, the other day you sit on a pub and tell me you want to have a one night stand... one day you give out to me saying I have moved on so fast (without knowing anything!) and the other you post here that you have kissed a girl and that you have been on a date (the one that has not called you back - talk about sixth sense!). I presume there is nothing worse than not knowing who you are and what you believe in. You spent months going out with me blaming me for focusing on my ex's faults in the past to move on (like any normal person does as a mechanism, but normal people do know what they are doing, they just make a CHOICE of focusing on what makes them feel better). And what do you do? You tell me that I have a disorder! Seriously.. now with all the "knowledge" you have from your research, good luck in finding a "healtly woman" according to your "new standards"... specially a woman that is not moody, and if she is, will you tell her she is bipolar? I am disgusted with the way you used everything I told you about myself on this website... whoever knows me, admires me for the way I have dealt with my problems in the past the same way I am sure your sister for instance admires her husband for the same reasons. Nobody is better or worse for having family issues for example..but you had little to say about me, so you just make up things to give you the illusion that you are "better off without someone like me".. And what do you do? You come to a website to say I had a "troubled childhood" and talk about me with no respect whatsover.. what kind of "man" does that? I have NEVER played the role of the "troubled girl" wanting to be rescued. You know how happy I have always been throughout my life and everybody that knows me, knows that... YOU were the one that constantly "needed to feel needed" as the co-dependant you are.. and everytime you realised I was not the kind of woman that needed to be rescued by anyone, you panicked. Lucky escape would be an understatement if I wanted to tell you how I feel about you right now.. You will be happy when it comes to meeting someone, I am sure, but only when you meet a woman who is messed up and who wants to be controlled.. or one that will have pleasure in taking advantage of you financially. Have you noticed how you use money to "buy off" people? I said to you from day one that I hated when you did that (used money as a way of being nice) but you are so used to thinking that you can make people happy by giving them presents, buying them things, etc.. if you meet a girl who loves expensive presents and loves the fact you pay loads of stuff, she won't dump you (and there are PLENTY of women like that out there!)... but whether she will be happy and whether she will be having an affair while you act like an idiot, thats another story. Think about the smiles you have put in other people's faces recently.. how many of them involve you using your credit card? Its funny... when we were together, you were sooo concerned and wanted so many reassurances about me loving you more than my exes for example... and now, without all the pressure and the emotional abuse from you, I can FINALLY be honest with you without fear... it feels great to say the truth without being "afraid" of someone criticising me. I can honestly tell you that you are by far the worst boyfriend I have ever have in my whole life.. and if I ever get to post our "story" here, people will understand why. Interesting.. your ex said the same thing about you.. that she was under so much pressure that she had to say to you things that she did not mean... ohh I said SO MANY things to you that I did not mean! Why? Thats what happens when we are emotionally abused... You are a 36 old man with no personality (even your sayings are stolen from books and movies!), who sits on the couch obsessing about things, and from day one I told you that you do not know how to enjoy life... (now I see that your ex flatmate C. had a point when she insulted you in the pub in front of my friends the other day, and I took your side) and here you are... telling me I have issues. Of course I have, everyone has them, but you did not have time to realise what my real issues were because you were so damn selfish that I did not have the chance to show you who I really was. The truth is, you have NO IDEA who I am.. I understand you believe you feel better now.. but that is not because you are a better person, but because you found a website where NOBODY knows the truth, so they are based on what you tell them, so they agree with you and all you need is approval... as long as you have a few people telling you that you are right, you think you are on the right track (that usually happens with people who have no personality. As for me, I see now that I fell in love with the image of a man I thought you were... you made me believe you were a person that you are not... I was naive to believe in you and in the things you said to me, that was my mistake. I realised fairly "soon" that you are a horrible person, and had I noticed that before, you would certainly have been dumped straight away! PS. Thanks for the post Get a Life, whoever you are
sunshine103 Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 WOW! This thread has more drama in it than a soap opera or a telenovela!
Author Mack05 Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 (edited) WOW! This thread has more drama in it than a soap opera or a telenovela! Agreed and I won't be contributing anymore to it as of right now and that's a promise. Whether or not my ex posts her story or not that is totally up to her. There is a lot I could say to the the stuff she said above and her future post, but I choose not to. People are entitled to their opinions and I won't be involved in some pathetic internet war. I have really enjoyed this site. It's been a great help to me personally and I don't want to bring the tone of the site down anymore. Obviously, I would like to have remained anonymous (should have picked a different name lol!) and I never expected my ex or her friends to see what I posted, but I have no regrets. I will leave it up to people reading your reply above to determine who the good person here is. I made mistakes I am not proud of and will not make excuses for. I want to be a better person whether you believe that or not. It's the reason I go to Therapy, the reason I go to a support group, the reason I have been reading books and the reason why I joined here. I don't want to make those mistakes again. I know I am a good man and nothing you can post will change that. I could get my friends/family to post and back me up like you did, but I am not that insecure. Your opinion of me or the girls doesn't matter either way T. I forgive you and nothing you can post slagging me off, now or in the future won't change that fact. I wish you well in your life, but it's time for one of us to show a bit of class. Have fun slagging me off..LS thanks for everything. It's been a massive help..Cheers Mack Edited June 15, 2011 by Mack05
sun_moon Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Wow can we get an admin to lock this thread or do something, it's out of control.
Kathyy28 Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Mack, I just bought the book. I did it because I want to be able to trust men, something that's gotten harder the older I get. Also, I'm consciously aware of confidence issues and I hope that if I call myself out enough on it, I can grow from it and learn. Still thinking about the possibility of therapy. This all has to do with step 3, and letting go of the anger I have for my ex, because of how I was treated. bla bla bla anyway I bought the book. I also bought the book two nights ago for the same reasons! I should be getting it by the mail sometime this week or next. Thanks Mack
Kathyy28 Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 Well now that I read this whole thread my last post feels a little awkward :-/ Sorry guys
Happy_Days Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Agreed and I won't be contributing anymore to it as of right now and that's a promise. Whether or not my ex posts her story or not that is totally up to her. There is a lot I could say to the the stuff she said above and her future post, but I choose not to. People are entitled to their opinions and I won't be involved in some pathetic internet war. I have really enjoyed this site. It's been a great help to me personally and I don't want to bring the tone of the site down anymore. Obviously, I would like to have remained anonymous (should have picked a different name lol!) and I never expected my ex or her friends to see what I posted, but I have no regrets. I will leave it up to people reading your reply above to determine who the good person here is. I made mistakes I am not proud of and will not make excuses for. I want to be a better person whether you believe that or not. It's the reason I go to Therapy, the reason I go to a support group, the reason I have been reading books and the reason why I joined here. I don't want to make those mistakes again. I know I am a good man and nothing you can post will change that. I could get my friends/family to post and back me up like you did, but I am not that insecure. Your opinion of me or the girls doesn't matter either way T. I forgive you and nothing you can post slagging me off, now or in the future won't change that fact. I wish you well in your life, but it's time for one of us to show a bit of class. Have fun slagging me off..LS thanks for everything. It's been a massive help..Cheers Mack I can't believe you invaded my privacy and sent me that book by post. It was insulting and embarassing especially because my work colleague opened the box and I had to explain what it was about. I could if I wanted sue you for defamation. Whether I have one disorder or ten disorders is my problem and it is none of your business, I suggest you start looking after YOUR mental health, not mine. As I said I would in case you contacted me, I went to the Gardai and they have your details. I showed them the book together with an email from Amazon confirming it was sent by you. I also showed them the text messages from someone who keeps texting me during the night and who said he got my phone number with you. I have also printed off ALL your emails and messages after the break up which could easily be used to prosecute you for harassment (have you any idea of the size of this booklet?). You have been doing everything that pops into your head without measuring the consequences or regarding other people's feelings and privacy and I suggest you start thinking before acting from now on. I will forget all about it and leave it be, you have crossed the line sending the book and giving my phone to a stranger but I am willing to put it all behind and just live my life IF you leave me alone.. if I get any emails, text messages or receive anything by post, in other words if you don't leave me alone, I can guarantee I will spend the rest of my days making sure you deal with the break up, with your depression and with your mental health from jail! Enough is enough!
EgoJoe Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 Happydays, please, let it be. Also, when Enough is enough you're halfway there. - Rise Against - Halfway There
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