why do men lie

[dyermaker]

DA, we're talking about different things. Even with 'most lies' (which I believe are 'white lies', but I lack statistics), they want us to, because think of the alternative.

 

The "why do men lie?" question is a question that EVERY woman has the answer to, they just don't want to hear it.

[Satan]

I have sometimes lied because I did not want to get into a whole shebang about my feelings and my boundaries.

 

I've told my girl I sometimes lie about dumb stuff to avoid three hour conversations about nothing, and she is cool with it.

[Samson]

Or, they just LOOOOVE the "Gottcha region!"

 

Arabess, on my map, this place is just a little south of the "attitude range?"

 

Within the context of a date, I find it difficult to believe that most women could become irritating enough to cause a man to lie to save his identity. This only happens after years of marriage, or so I thought...

 

Of course it has been a while since I've dated (15 years) and I guess women could have become more annoying in the past decade and a half.

 

But it is difficult to imagine this would be possible.

[Arabess]

I was staying with 'dating' because the poster was referring to it in that context.

 

I realize yours fell more under the 'ball and chain' relationship.....LMAO!

[moimeme]

It's obvious -- Because it's easier to lie than to tell the truth. Didn't you know that? Come on Merry ---- we are all waiting for you to post a link.

 

Oh my dears Kinda nice to be thought of as the go-to gal for this stuff, I must say - even when my leg's being tugged Here you go:

 

http://somniloquy.online.fr/TSI3/why.html

 

http://www.sciencenet.org.uk/database/soc/behavioural/s00210d.html

 

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4072816/

 

 

By the way:

A substantial body of psychological research shows that people’s ability to distinguish between truthful and deceptive statements in experimental settings is generally poor. In particular, three established findings point to the fallibility of the human observer as a lie-catcher.

http://www.psy.gu.se/download/gpr031.pdf

[CurlyIam]

Originally posted by Arabess

I'm just ASSUMING.....but if a man is really worried about losing a woman....he will NOT risk it.

 

Yep, that pretty much summs it up. Maybe he doesn't worry and goes on because it's easier and in the end,"who gives a f**k?" if she doesn't take it or not, there are plenty of (other) girls who will, right? So why make the effort?

 

My problem is I like to make things work. Probably we all say the same thing to ourselves. Letting good things go away. Then we say "hey if it were a good thing, I would have noticed it". True, had we paid enough attention. And the story goes on and on.

 

I see it like a contagious attitude towards relationships. So what I am saying maybe it's not only about telling lies, it's the telling lies and not carrying.

[Samson]

My problem is I like to make things work.

 

A curse of my own.

 

I am reminded on almost an hourly basis that it takes two to "make things work" in a relationship (and DA, one of the two cannot be your hand). Those like us will continue pulling the plow long after all the other horses are dead.

[zarathustra]

Those like us will continue pulling the plow long after all the other horses are dead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's the truth, Samson, to this middle aged, world weary guy: marriage as work camp.

[faux]

Originally posted by CurlyIam

...So why do you lie?

 

Why do we breathe? Breathing comes naturally to us. We can hold our breath, but there are instances when doing so becomes far too uncomfortable. No one can hold ones breath forever.

 

It seems it is easier to walk around a body of water, find a shallow point and reach in to grab what we are after. Submerging, and risking the possibility of drowning, is far more difficult for us to do.

[CurlyIam]

So...it's like a necessity?

[CurlyIam]

Or instinctual? I have noticed than when asking someone upfront a question, their thinking about the answer(not answering right back) means lying - not really giving a false answer, just... "playing" with the tones.

[BlockHead]

The truth hurts, and she will never forgive me for that. A perfect lie doesn’t have the fallout that can come with the truth.

CurlyIam

I simply cannot comprehand. Women are not stupid creatures. Honestely, we're not! So why do you lie? Is it the fact that it's more comfortable and you don't get to answer fot things or is it that you just don't care and it' not or business anyway?

Did you ever tell a lie? The reason is simple.

 

They lie because they don’t want to expose the truth. This is universal!!!!

CurlyIam

I mean beacause of your lazy butts and "leave me alone and let me drink my beer in peace, woman!" attitude you risk to loose everything.

He must be your dream guy.

Samson

Of course it has been a while since I've dated (15 years) and I guess women could have become more annoying in the past decade and a half.

I think they got more demanding.

Samson

Those like us will continue pulling the plow long after all the other horses are dead.

Will I have peace in death?

 

 

Some people use lies to generate confusion so that they can gain control over the other person.

For example, she will contradict every statement she makes, and will frequently correct Mr. Dopey. This has the effect of fooling Mr. Dopey into believing that he is wrong, and that he a jerk. He doesn’t realize that she is slowly eroding his mental defenses so that she can turn him into a puppet, and when she thinks she has control, she will bark out orders.

[Samson]

Originally posted by BlockHead

 

I think they got more demanding.

Will I have peace in death?

.

 

And the difference between being more demanding and more annoying?

 

Perhaps its in the eye of the beholder, and a direct function of how much alcohol has been consumed: I've found annoyance is inversely proportional to oz liquor consumed.

 

Sorry, cannot help you with the pease in death question: haven't been there, and don't know where you'd end up.

[Papillon]

Originally posted by Fedup&givingup

Ok...this is a typical dodge the question answer.

 

 

Start another thread about wanting to know why women lie, because why women lie might be somewhat different as to why MEN lie. That is the subject at hand here, why MEN lie.

 

No, it's not. The premise of the question asked is based upon a stereotyped assumption. If it were a "valid" question, it would be "Why do people lie?". But that would be a stupid, rhetorical question, hence, the resultant "Why do men lie?", which is filled with vitriol and accusation.

[CurlyIam]

Why on Earth would you feel so strongly about this subject? would you like to share?

 

I do not feel hatered towards men, although when posting this particular thread I really felt like killing one. Not all men, not any man, a specific individual ... So I'm looking forward to your response.

[BlockHead]

Samson

Sorry, cannot help you with the pease in death question: haven't been there, and don't know where you'd end up.

Will she curse, and blame me for all of her problems when I’m gone?

Will I become the fertilizer that you or another person plows through?

Samson

Perhaps its in the eye of the beholder, and a direct function of how much alcohol has been consumed: I've found annoyance is inversely proportional to oz liquor consumed.

The annoyance may be reduced, but it is still there. Too bad.

[CurlyIam]

Sorry, BlockHead, I've just thought about this... It's unconsiderate, it's mean...but there it is: I guess you must be thanking Lord for women with speaking disabilities ... I just couldn't help myself.

[wideawake]

Jeez..what are we all talking about?

 

I mean there are millions of reasons why men lie.

 

I'll keep this to something I can put my arms around and relate to. Here's why I lie.

 

I lie so I don't have to tell her that "yes, as a matter of fact you have gained a couple of pounds, and believe it or not I actually prefer your body this way as it finally looks like a woman and not a 14 year old boy."

 

I lie when she asks me (incessantly) what I got her for: Christmas, birthday, anniversary.

 

I lied when I threw her a surprise birthday party when she asked what we were doing that night.

 

I USED to lie when she asked me if such and such a girl was hot, now we just cop the truth to each other.

 

Um...sometimes I lie when she asks "what's bothering you?" and I don't want to go into a full discourse of whatever is on my mind at that time. Ok, that one isn't good and I'm working on it....didn't say I was perfect.

 

Ok...I lie sometimes when she asks me what I had to eat for lunch...I'm not over-weight by any means, but I am ashamed to admit I had two double cheesebugers, fries, soda, onion rings, and a grilled cheese sandwich just for the ride back to work...not a big one...but still...

 

I lie every-time she cooks up this damn zucchini casserole she loves...oh god, it makes me want to puke just thinking about choking more of it down. She loves it though...so down it goes. (even my loyal dogs won't eat that crap...so the old 'under the table trick' doesn't play here...)

 

Now...why do I lie about these things?

 

Well, for some of them it's for her own good (gifts, party, etc..)

 

Sometimes based on my own failings and imperfections (don't want to talk about what's bothering me).

 

Sometimes it's to avoid her going into a day-long depression (weight, figure, clothes...) and hence making me misserable, so I guess I lie in this case to maintain my own level of happieness in the relationship.

 

Sometimes I lie out of guilt (cheeseburgers)

 

Sometimes I lie to avoid a fight (zucchini)

 

That's my story. I'm a liar and I'm not going to change anytime soon.

[Papillon]

Originally posted by CurlyIam

Why on Earth would you feel so strongly about this subject? would you like to share?

 

I do not feel hatered towards men, although when posting this particular thread I really felt like killing one. Not all men, not any man, a specific individual ... So I'm looking forward to your response.

 

Hey, snookums, I don't care either way. People lie and that's the end of it. You answered your own question to me. Whether it was for one man or all men, the fact was that you started the thread in bitterness, that much is obvious. Whether you ALWAYS subscribe to the stereotype is irrelevant - you did in this instance and FedUp was defending it because of her own bitterness towards men.

[CurlyIam]

Gee, Papillon, you're way to subttle for me... "Whether you ALWAYS subscribe to the stereotype is irrelevant ".

 

I suppose your friend BlockHEad there or Samson, are different, ha? Sure, Samson does it to have fun - take this position towards women, but I didn't see you ,correction, don't see standing up because of the lack of "political correctness". So I guess that makes you.... a misogynist? Equality, but only between men? You make me sick to my stomach and you don't know how to take a joke exactly because of you bitterness toward women. I can't believe I was explaining myself TO YOU.

 

Maybe it's true and I am all about stereotypes, maybe Fed is better towards me, but it's because of men like yourself she got bitter in the first place.

[CurlyIam]

Originally posted by wideawake

Jeez..what are we all talking about?

 

I mean there are millions of reasons why men lie.

 

I'll keep this to something I can put my arms around and relate to. Here's why I lie.

 

I lie so I don't have to tell her that "yes, as a matter of fact you have gained a couple of pounds, and believe it or not I actually prefer your body this way as it finally looks like a woman and not a 14 year old boy."

 

I lie when she asks me (incessantly) what I got her for: Christmas, birthday, anniversary.

 

I lied when I threw her a surprise birthday party when she asked what we were doing that night.

 

I USED to lie when she asked me if such and such a girl was hot, now we just cop the truth to each other.

 

Um...sometimes I lie when she asks "what's bothering you?" and I don't want to go into a full discourse of whatever is on my mind at that time. Ok, that one isn't good and I'm working on it....didn't say I was perfect.

 

Ok...I lie sometimes when she asks me what I had to eat for lunch...I'm not over-weight by any means, but I am ashamed to admit I had two double cheesebugers, fries, soda, onion rings, and a grilled cheese sandwich just for the ride back to work...not a big one...but still...

 

I lie every-time she cooks up this damn zucchini casserole she loves...oh god, it makes me want to puke just thinking about choking more of it down. She loves it though...so down it goes. (even my loyal dogs won't eat that crap...so the old 'under the table trick' doesn't play here...)

 

Now...why do I lie about these things?

 

Well, for some of them it's for her own good (gifts, party, etc..)

 

Sometimes based on my own failings and imperfections (don't want to talk about what's bothering me).

 

Sometimes it's to avoid her going into a day-long depression (weight, figure, clothes...) and hence making me misserable, so I guess I lie in this case to maintain my own level of happieness in the relationship.

 

Sometimes I lie out of guilt (cheeseburgers)

 

Sometimes I lie to avoid a fight (zucchini)

 

That's my story. I'm a liar and I'm not going to change anytime soon.

 

Wideawake, I hope my future husband will lie to me every day like you do... Except for the cheeseburger part, they're bad for you ...

[Kat]

Originally posted by Fedup&givingup

Ok...this is a typical dodge the question answer.

 

Sorry but I am a women and this was my first thought.

 

This thread is nothing but an excuse to man bash by you 'scorned' women.

[CurlyIam]

Sorry you feel this way, Kat. Right now I like even more Samson and his "let me drink my beer in peace, woman"!

[Papillon]

Originally posted by CurlyIam

Gee, Papillon, you're way to subttle for me... "Whether you ALWAYS subscribe to the stereotype is irrelevant ".

 

I suppose your friend BlockHEad there or Samson, are different, ha? Sure, Samson does it to have fun - take this position towards women, but I didn't see you ,correction, don't see standing up because of the lack of "political correctness". So I guess that makes you.... a misogynist? Equality, but only between men? You make me sick to my stomach and you don't know how to take a joke exactly because of you bitterness toward women. I can't believe I was explaining myself TO YOU.

 

Maybe it's true and I am all about stereotypes, maybe Fed is better towards me, but it's because of men like yourself she got bitter in the first place.

 

Oops, that should have been "always subscribe, or not"

 

As a matter of fact, I don't care about your bitterness, or whatever the cause. The fact of the matter is that you asked a generalised question that reeked of stereotyping, and Fedup is just too eager to defend that stereotype. My statements had nothing to do with the political correctness of the thread, it was directed at Fedup and her obvious man-hate.

 

Men like me? There you go stereotyping again, Curly. An insult based upon an assumption all in one? Your words are hollow, simply because you do not know me. Your insult is distasteful and immature. You're even assuming I'm male.

[CurlyIam]

Okey, okey, you're right... So now what do I do? I am in such a way programmed that I can only hate men.... I simply can't hate women. And I was immature... God, you would have made a good man to hate right now!