Pieces Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Hi all....I need your advice. I started speaking to a witty guy online and the conversation was free-flowing and easy. Within a number of messages, he gave me his number. I felt brave and messaged him that same night saying so, and good night.....We then continued texing every day for over 2 weeks. We spoke on the phone for over 4 hours and arranged a date to meet. The date went great. He was such a gentleman and didn't try and make a pass on me throughout the 6 hours I was with him. At the end we kissed but it was mainly just soft kisses on the lips. At the end he said that he was sorry but felt a bit awkward kissing me outside my house. He was a gent and I really like that about him. The minute he left I received a message from him saying that he really wanted to kiss me properly but was worried outside my house. I told him that I was glad that he did want to kiss me because I wasn't sure for a minute. He then told me that he did want to kiss me earlier but wasn't sure if it was appropriate. A few more messages later and he invited me to have dinner with him and watch a film together later in the week. I was thrilled and agreed. We set a date and continued contact with each other everyday leading up to it. On the morning of the date I got a message from him saying that he had a major development on the house that he was selling. He told me all about this house on our first date. He was open and honest with me about what his past was about. He told me that he was in a 7 year relationship that ended 18 months ago. It was his decision to end this relationship after he realised that he fell out of love with her. They had a house together and had put it on the market and finally found a buyer for it. The buyer threatened to walk away from the deal if he couldn’t be in this weekend. He told me that the ex was dragging it out and that they had had some heated words about it. As a result of all the issues regarding the house, he told me that he needed to cancel because he had to move the remainder of his stuff out and complete the deal before the buyer walked. I was a little disappointed but understood. He told me that he hadn’t seen his ex in over a year and wasn’t looking forward to facing her or her mother. He told me that he would call me that night surrounded by boxes. He never did call, but I thought that was understandable considering what he had going on. The next day was his birthday. I sent him a message wishing him a happy birthday and hoping that the day before was not too stressful for him. I got a reply from him saying thank you and that yesterday had been the most stressful and upsetting day that he had in a long time. I didn’t know what this meant or what to say so I replied saying, I am sorry to hear that hun. I thought it wise to not pester him or contact him because maybe he needed space. Today is the third day of no contact. I text him a light message asking how he was. I have not heard from him and in my gut, don’t think I ever will. I really like this guy but I don’t think there is anything I can do about it. Everything was great leading up to our second date and now it’s just like he has disappeared. Do I just give up and hope one day he will contact me?
Emilia Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 You should chat and have dates with other guys. You may or may not hear from him, the truth is you don't know him well at all. Try not have high expectations before you get to know someone, he might be a very fickle and unreliable person. Maybe he just isn't ready for dating. You don't know.
Author Pieces Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Thanks Emilia. Sadly I think you are right. So for some reason I sent him this..... I just needed to have my say. What do you think? I am not sure why I am sending this message as it's not really my thing…..but I do recall a conversation that we once had that was all about seizing the day and that life is too short. I agree with this statement and that is the reason why I am sending this now. I don't know you and you don't know me, regardless of that I got a good feeling about you. I have no idea what your thoughts are about me, but I got the vibe that you were happy to meet up once again. Things and circumstances change, I understand that….but I felt it necessary to say what I want to say and be on my merry way. So this is how I am seeing things now. Something has changed and there is/are some complications going on. I also understand that everyone has their own history, and am guessing yours is possibly still ongoing. I didn't text you over the weekend because I got the feeling you may want some space after Thursday. I like to think I am good at reading situations and although I actually have no idea what has happened, I know we went form chatty to nothing. So whatever it is that went on, whether you realised that you were 'just not that into me'… (that's fine) or….on the off chance that you are just another mentally screwed up singleton, that doesn't have a clue what the hell they want….then that is fine too....you are not alone!!! Please know that I don't tend to message people that I do not hear back from because I am not one to waste my time. That, and I don't like the uneasy feeling of putting myself out there! It makes me nervous! lol......but I am also not one for these silly games....so.....putting myself very much out there!!! I just wanted to say that I believe that I liked you and I was looking forward to possibly getting to know you a little better. So……if one day down the line….you ever wanted to have that second date…..then it would be very nice to hear from you again. In the meantime I shall disappear and go back to my spreadsheet ( It's looking rather bleak if I'm honest! Lol ) You do not need to respond to this email, and I am not expecting one. I promise not to message you again. I really am not a bunny boiler and stalking is not one of my feminine traits!!! Lol So for now………It was lovely meeting you. I wish you all the best.
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