curlydude Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 (edited) okay so there is this girl that i like ALOT. the problem is of me making a move. when i initially met her, i heard that she liked me from my good friend so i went for it. but i never made a move or told her that i liked her, and i waited so long that some guy asked her out and they started dating, which was brutal on me, but a month later they break up and she starts talking to me again, i ask her to my prom but again i do not make a move, and i think she was thinking in her head that this prom thing better be it or else. now she isnt talking to me so much. like she never texts me anymore. and when i text her shell respond like shes not really wanting to talk. i know I have a glimpse of hope to get this right. how should i go about it? should i call, text her to meet so i can tell her, or what? she may not even want to meet anymore. i need to do this!! Edited June 13, 2011 by curlydude
Restless_Journeyman Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 okay so there is this girl that i like ALOT. the problem is of me making a move. when i initially met her, i heard that she liked me from my good friend so i went for it. but i never made a move or told her that i liked her, and i waited so long that some guy asked her out and they started dating, which was brutal on me, but a month later they break up and she starts talking to me again, i ask her to my prom but again i do not make a move, and i think she was thinking in her head that this prom thing better be it or else. now she isnt talking to me so much. like she never texts me anymore. and when i text her shell respond like shes not really wanting to talk. i know I have a glimpse of hope to get this right. how should i go about it? should i call, text her to meet so i can tell her, or what? she may not even want to meet anymore. i need to do this!! How did she act when you were at the prom? Did she stay close to you, did she lean in when you were talking and touch your arm or leg? Body language is very important. Describe anything you can. It's possible she thinks you aren't into her and it's possible that she isn't into you, or she is just pissed at you for not making a move at the prom. Really, it's sort of expected there.
Author curlydude Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 How did she act when you were at the prom? Did she stay close to you, did she lean in when you were talking and touch your arm or leg? Body language is very important. Describe anything you can. It's possible she thinks you aren't into her and it's possible that she isn't into you, or she is just pissed at you for not making a move at the prom. Really, it's sort of expected there. well at prom in general it seemed like i was going with a friend half the time, but made it seem more than that was when we slowed dance she would pull closer constantly towards, like tighten her grip. if you get that lol. and perhaps she doesnt like me anymore. but that point before that boyfriend, she did like me because my friend that told me, was told by his girlfriend who is best friends with this girl.
Restless_Journeyman Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 (edited) well at prom in general it seemed like i was going with a friend half the time, but made it seem more than that was when we slowed dance she would pull closer constantly towards, like tighten her grip. No guarantee, but it sounds to me like she felt safe with you or she wouldn't be pressing up against you so much. My guess? She was hoping you would make a move and was disappointed. Take a night to sleep it off and talk to her tomorrow (try not to come off as desperate, just ask her if she'd like to go out again and make it clear you did have a good time). Lots of women, particularly young women, and particularly young attractive women can be insecure. Decent chance she doesn't think you're really into her. Remember that you're quite young yet and that it isn't the end of the world whatever happens. Can be tough I know. Edited June 13, 2011 by Restless_Journeyman
Author curlydude Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 No guarantee, but it sounds to me like she felt safe with you or she wouldn't be pressing up against you so much. My guess? She was hoping you would make a move and was disappointed. Take a night to sleep it off and talk to her tomorrow (try not to come off as desperate, just ask her if she'd like to go out again and make it clear you did have a good time). Lots of women, particularly young women, and particularly young attractive women can be insecure. Decent chance she doesn't think you're really into her. Remember that you're quite young yet and that it isn't the end of the world whatever happens. Can be tough I know. i agree. i think she has an exam tomorrow in the morning and after that i can text her safely as she is done with school and should hopefully be free enough to text. i dont even know what to say, should i hint it when i ask her to hang out that its something important? or what?
Restless_Journeyman Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 (edited) i agree. i think she has an exam tomorrow in the morning and after that i can text her safely as she is done with school and should hopefully be free enough to text. i dont even know what to say, should i hint it when i ask her to hang out that its something important? or what? Don't be too passive. Ask her out, don't just ask her to "hang out". Be specific. If you know there is a movie she has really been wanting to see offer to take her to it, or if there is a type of food she really likes you can ask her out to lunch/dinner. Neither of those are exactly great or original date ideas, but they can work. The important thing is that she realizes you see her as more than a friend or you'll risk being considered just a friend from here on out. DO NOT PRESSURE HER TOO MUCH or come across as needy/clingy. If she agreed to go to the prom with you she at least has been into you, but she has to know you're into her too. Prom can be very important to women, so it wasn't exactly a small thing for her to agree to go with you instead of some one else. Make sure she knows you're into her without worshipping her. It's a fine line, but an important one. Women don't want to be on pedestals, but they do want to be appreciated. Oh and see her in person, texting is an easy way out but it is less personal. Edited June 13, 2011 by Restless_Journeyman
Author curlydude Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Don't be too passive. Ask her out, don't just ask her to "hang out". Be specific. If you know there is a movie she has really been wanting to see offer to take her to it, or if there is a type of food she really likes you can ask her out to lunch/dinner. Neither of those are exactly great or original date ideas, but they can work. The important thing is that she realizes you see her as more than a friend or you'll risk being considered just a friend from here on out. DO NOT PRESSURE HER TOO MUCH or come across as needy/clingy. If she agreed to go to the prom with you she at least has been into you, but she has to know you're into her too. Prom can be very important to women, so it wasn't exactly a small thing for her to agree to go with you instead of some one else. Make sure she knows you're into her without worshipping her. It's a fine line, but an important one. Women don't want to be on pedestals, but they do want to be appreciated. Oh and see her in person, texting is an easy way out but it is less personal. really? you think i should just say do you want to go out? sounds like a good idea, maybe it just seems bad to me at the moment because i feel that the little chance i have left should not be tempered with. but im sure that is what ill do. either that, or i ask her to hang out, and then tell her then. i dont know. either one isnt a safe road. but the 2nd one is a little safer ofcourse. and i know what you mean, the last girl i was interested in, i realized i was too clingy which turned her off, and ive been trying extra hard not to do that with this girl, and im pretty sure so far i still havent passed off as clingy to her. at least i hope not.
Restless_Journeyman Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 really? you think i should just say do you want to go out? sounds like a good idea, maybe it just seems bad to me at the moment because i feel that the little chance i have left should not be tempered with. but im sure that is what ill do. either that, or i ask her to hang out, and then tell her then. i dont know. either one isnt a safe road. but the 2nd one is a little safer ofcourse. Not necessarily, I think it's important that you be clear with people and you don't want to wind up as the guy who isn't really into her and is safer to just keep around as a friend. Many of us have been there and it isn't much fun. Do you think you could be "just friends" with her and you'd really be ok with it? If so then just ask to hang out, but if you're really into this chick then ask her out clearly.
Author curlydude Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Not necessarily, I think it's important that you be clear with people and you don't want to wind up as the guy who isn't really into her and is safer to just keep around as a friend. Many of us have been there and it isn't much fun. Do you think you could be "just friends" with her and you'd really be ok with it? If so then just ask to hang out, but if you're really into this chick then ask her out clearly. definitely would not be okay with just being friends without trying to be more than friends first. The only reason im doubting on that idea is because ive known her for so long and i was just thinking wouldnt it seem out of the blue to her if i was like go out? or no? thats the only reason why im a little iffy on this.
Restless_Journeyman Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 definitely would not be okay with just being friends without trying to be more than friends first. The only reason im doubting on that idea is because ive known her for so long and i was just thinking wouldnt it seem out of the blue to her if i was like go out? or no? thats the only reason why im a little iffy on this. How long has it been since prom? Not long? If so then asking her out isn't "out of the blue". If she had a good time it would be something shes hoping for really. I'm not saying walk up and just say, "Do you want to go see a movie friday?" although that can sometimes work, but don't wait too long and don't ask her to "hang out" first. That is something guy pals do, not boyfriends.
Author curlydude Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 How long has it been since prom? Not long? If so then asking her out isn't "out of the blue". If she had a good time it would be something shes hoping for really. I'm not saying walk up and just say, "Do you want to go see a movie friday?" although that can sometimes work, but don't wait too long and don't ask her to "hang out" first. That is something guy pals do, not boyfriends. prom was the friday before last friday. june 3 so its been a week and a bit. yeah the thing is i can't walk up to her and do this, she lives on the other side of the city lol. so for me its either call or text. yeah so then should i just say do you wanna go out this weekend? or something more specfic? sorry its been a while for me so im just a little rusty i guess you could say. Haha yeah true.
Restless_Journeyman Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 prom was the friday before last friday. june 3 so its been a week and a bit. yeah the thing is i can't walk up to her and do this, she lives on the other side of the city lol. so for me its either call or text. yeah so then should i just say do you wanna go out this weekend? or something more specfic? sorry its been a while for me so im just a little rusty i guess you could say. Haha yeah true. Just saying "Would you like to go out this weekend?" is fine, but have some ideas of what to do in mind if she says yes. You can even say it's a surprise, but if so make it a good one (that means not your standard dinner and/or a movie).
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