DreamerGirl27 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 The thought of liking another guy right now is like pure torture. I want this guy and nobody else.
Just A Joe Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Slow down girl. The aggressive chick thing might scare him off, for one. I've been around the block. It can be a turn-on for some guys, but guys typically like to lead "the game" or romance department. Take you time and get to know him. Spend some time with him and let him earn your respect.
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Slow down girl. The aggressive chick thing might scare him off, for one. I've been around the block. It can be a turn-on for some guys, but guys typically like to lead "the game" or romance department. Take you time and get to know him. Spend some time with him and let him earn your respect. I don't want to play a helpless gazelle being chased.
Danneth Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 The thought of liking another guy right now is like pure torture. I want this guy and nobody else. Time is a fantastic healer. It may not feel like that right now, though...
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 time isn't gonna heal anything if he wants to remain friends
Danneth Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 time isn't gonna heal anything if he wants to remain friends You should realise that being friends isn't the best idea.
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 well it's either this or nothing, the rest of my guy friends don't talk to me like he does
Danneth Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 well it's either this or nothing, the rest of my guy friends don't talk to me like he does Take the 'nothing' route, then. Your feelings are never going to go away if you're still friends. You've got to allow your feelings to fade by taking him from the forefront of your mind. If you're friends, that's not going to happen. Invest your time & effort in meeting/speaking to new guys. Even if they're fairly insignificant relationships. Just put yourself out there (metaphorically, of course) and build new bridges. If you spend all your time thinking about this one guy, you're making it harder than it needs to be.
cerridwen Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 (edited) I can't like anyone else but myself either. that's not what I said Well, you might want to look into that. Self love is important. Edited June 14, 2011 by cerridwen
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 Take the 'nothing' route, then. Your feelings are never going to go away if you're still friends. You've got to allow your feelings to fade by taking him from the forefront of your mind. If you're friends, that's not going to happen. Invest your time & effort in meeting/speaking to new guys. Even if they're fairly insignificant relationships. Just put yourself out there (metaphorically, of course) and build new bridges. If you spend all your time thinking about this one guy, you're making it harder than it needs to be. I've made up my mind. Besides, no other guy talks to me. I've tried.
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 and I've already tried going no contact...deleted him off my account. Worst 5 days of my life. Cried every day. At least if we're friends, I can dream that there's hope for the future.
Danneth Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 I've made up my mind. Besides, no other guy talks to me. I've tried. Then take the initiative and talk to guys yourself. and I've already tried going no contact...deleted him off my account. Worst 5 days of my life. Cried every day. At least if we're friends, I can dream that there's hope for the future. Not going to happen.
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 Then take the initiative and talk to guys yourself. Not going to happen. there's no possible way you can know that, unless you can predict the future
neowulf Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 there's no possible way you can know that, unless you can predict the future Well, that's technically true. However, if you want to spend your one and only life pining after a guy who will most likely never like you back, that's your business. People here are simply suggesting actions based on their experiences. You can't control how people feel about you. If you've made your feelings clear for this guy and he doesn't feel the same, then that's it. The world is a huge place, filled with millions of people. You can spend your short, precious youth chasing the things you can't have.. or you can focus your energy on trying to move forward. No, it's not easy letting go of the people you have strong feelings for. But it *is* possible. Cutting all contact with the person is the fastest (and most painful) was to move through the process of grieving the relationship. If you refuse to move on, you won't be hurting anyone but yourself. Again, you're choice. We just assume if you're posting here, you're chasing advice.
somedude81 Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 It really sucks to be obsessed with somebody who's not interested in you. Things would be so much easier if we could control who we were attracted to. If I had a choice, I would never be interested in somebody unless they were interested in me first. The only way to get over somebody is to not have any contact. Use it sucks and hurts, but there is no other way. In time you will heal and move on.
Mag-Lone-Freak Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 (edited) I've been there MANY times with ALL my crushes! I know the feeling very well. I would obsess rejecting other guys who I look back to now and think they were way cooler than him, and if I could go back I'd give him a chance. I'd obsess over my crushes until we went to different schools and I was forced to move on because I didn't know where he was, but then another guy would take his place and I'd obsess for the longest time making excuses for why he didn't call back or why we didn't meet up etc... it'd be the same pattern, and instead of giving a guy who maybe wasn't as cute but cooler a try, I'd use him as a crying shoulder and a friend until he gave up on me... so sad and silly I'm making a series and will post them on my youtube soon.. I'm using dolls as actors and the more I step outside and look at the doll thats supposed to be MY character, the dumber I feel for being that way... I think I missed out on a lot of fun, all I look back to 15 years later is me dwelling over guys I wouldn't date today:p Oh and being friends can be harsh and may get ugly when he starts seeing other girls! This happened to me and I thought I was gonna go insane! I was SO jealous with crazy thoughts I wouldn't go threw with which made me feel more anguished... Not good... Just a warning. Edited June 16, 2011 by Mag-Lone-Freak
Danneth Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 there's no possible way you can know that, unless you can predict the future It's this sort of attitude which keeps you trapped in this cycle. Well, that's technically true. However, if you want to spend your one and only life pining after a guy who will most likely never like you back, that's your business. People here are simply suggesting actions based on their experiences. You can't control how people feel about you. If you've made your feelings clear for this guy and he doesn't feel the same, then that's it. The world is a huge place, filled with millions of people. You can spend your short, precious youth chasing the things you can't have.. or you can focus your energy on trying to move forward. No, it's not easy letting go of the people you have strong feelings for. But it *is* possible. Cutting all contact with the person is the fastest (and most painful) was to move through the process of grieving the relationship. If you refuse to move on, you won't be hurting anyone but yourself. Again, you're choice. We just assume if you're posting here, you're chasing advice. Great post.
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 ya know, it is possible for men and women to be friends, and I'm the one barking that they can't. the more I get to know him, the more incompatible I realize we are and what he told me is right. He's kind of a player. Right now, I'm not crying my eyes out that he doesn't like me, just enjoying his friendship. There's no telling what will happen in the future, but just knowing his personality and how he is with girls, is a really big fat warning to me not to get involved. He makes an awesome friend, though. Maybe when he's a little older and more mature he'll want something different, not saying that will be me, but just saying it is possible. He himself has even stated he doesn't know who he'll want in the future, but right now, boy does he want to play "the game" with many different girls. I don't want to be involved in that.
KR10N Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 You've turned completely obsessive. It's a hard thing to deal w/ I know. I'm trying to get over a guy myself. But you can't expect to wait for this guy, it's not like the movies. There are no happily ever afters. The best thing you can do is stop being friends w/ him immediately. I've been at NC w/ my crush for 3 years (was broken a month ago but didn't give him the chance to initiate a conversation). I've been completely hung up on him, but I know there's never a chance for anything to happen & if I think about him, I do something else. You should too! Are you attracted to him because of his looks? Or do you like him for him?
Author DreamerGirl27 Posted June 16, 2011 Author Posted June 16, 2011 You've turned completely obsessive. It's a hard thing to deal w/ I know. I'm trying to get over a guy myself. But you can't expect to wait for this guy, it's not like the movies. There are no happily ever afters. The best thing you can do is stop being friends w/ him immediately. I've been at NC w/ my crush for 3 years (was broken a month ago but didn't give him the chance to initiate a conversation). I've been completely hung up on him, but I know there's never a chance for anything to happen & if I think about him, I do something else. You should too! Are you attracted to him because of his looks? Or do you like him for him? there are happily ever afters in real life, I fully believe that. I am NOT.BREAKING.CONTACT. Please, stop telling me to, everyone.
erika2610 Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 I noticed you didn't answer her question. Are you attracted to him for his looks, or who he is as a person?
grkBoy Posted June 16, 2011 Posted June 16, 2011 The thought of liking another guy right now is like pure torture. I want this guy and nobody else. If you have a shot with the guy, go for it. If you have no shot, or it happened but you both broke up, or he rejected you...then take some time to get over him, then try again.
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