stillafool Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I'm a man. I will have to make the first move. I will have to chase and pursue a woman and put in all the work to get her and "woo" her... So I'm already at a disadvantage, why would I after all that want to be with a woman who has more money than me? It would make me look pathetic and desperate, and I'm neither. I'm of the strong belief that the one who is more succesful and has more money does the pursuing. You wouldn't pursue a man who has more money than you. Infact you wouldn't pursue a man, period. Nowadays, you do not have to make the first move. Most women these days are going after what they want and all are not sitting around waiting for some guy to hit on them. I think a high earning woman would certainly pursue a man she wanted. Why not? As far as women not pursuing a man who has more money than them - . Women fall all over each other pursuing men who make a lot of money!
stillafool Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I'll ONLY chase women who are on my "level" when it comes to both looks and career. What if she makes more money and she's the one chasing you? Would you give her a chance then?
Velociraptor Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Nowadays, you do not have to make the first move. Most women these days are going after what they want and all are not sitting around waiting for some guy to hit on them. I think a high earning woman would certainly pursue a man she wanted. Why not? As far as women not pursuing a man who has more money than them - . Women fall all over each other pursuing men who make a lot of money! Your defenition of pursuing is very different than mine, I'm sure. As I see it, pursuing means first and foremost that you make the first move. That you initiate the first kiss. That you initiate phone calls, texts, emails, dates. Is the primary "driver" to get it to an exclusive relationship. Is the one who puts in more effort. That's what pursuing means to me.
Velociraptor Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 What if she makes more money and she's the one chasing you? Would you give her a chance then? Offcourse. But women don't chase men, so it's pointless to think about it.
stillafool Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Your defenition of pursuing is very different than mine, I'm sure. As I see it, pursuing means first and foremost that you make the first move. That you initiate the first kiss. That you initiate phone calls, texts, emails, dates. Is the primary "driver" to get it to an exclusive relationship. Is the one who puts in more effort. That's what pursuing means to me. That's what it means to me as well and I do know women who do all of the above and more. I know of two women right now who should wear rollerskates they are chasing the objects of their affection so hard.
Enchanted Girl Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 The one who wants it less always has power over the one who wants it more, and in most cases it's the woman who wants it less. Usually the one with the higher drive will always initiate sex. And in most cases that's the man. Since you never initiate sex, that doesn't really apply to you. Not true. You need to read what I said. Manipulative people have the most control. Regardless of how much need anyone has for anything. My ex, like I said, really wanted to do messed up kinky crap that I wanted to have nothing to do with, but he got it through emotional abuse and withholding love from me. He wanted it more, but he found my weakness and because he was a manipulative person, exploited it to get me to do what he wanted. My current boyfriend and I . . . I have the higher sex drive and we compromise. Neither of us tries to control the other. In the first situation, my ex wanted it more and still got his way. In the second situation, I want it more, but we compromise.
Enchanted Girl Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 That's what it means to me as well and I do know women who do all of the above and more. I know of two women right now who should wear rollerskates they are chasing the objects of their affection so hard. I did all of the above. I asked him out. I paid for everything. I initiated the first kiss. I initiated all contact. With my ex. It was actually frustrating to me because he didn't put any effort into anything, so I don't know why men want to do all the above and make all the money. It means the woman you are with doesn't care about you at all. Otherwise why is she adding NOTHING to the relationship? If I'm with a man I care about, I'll always initiate at least some contact with him. I'll take him on dates just like he takes me. I help him pay for things if he is short on bills and I have some extra money. I've written poetry for guys. Serenaded them. Arranged special dinners for them. Bought them little presents. It's all very romantic and I enjoy seeing the surprised/pleased look on their face. But I will say that men sometimes think I am too desperate because I do these things (instead of letting them do everything), which is why I disagree that it's women who initiated that the world had to be this way. Men fight for it the hardest and disrespect women the most who break this cycle. (I know because a lot of them disrespect me!) In fact, this was started because women were viewed as possessions in the past. The best man (who made the most money) would get to buy any woman of his choosing. She was supposed to be sweet and submissive. She was supposed to look pretty because all she was good for was sex and her body. He was supposed to pursue her or she was stepping out of her place. And when he abused her or cheated on her, she had to stay because she didn't make as much money as him. But we live in modern times. Women can support themselves enough to leave a relationship if they need to. And they should get to the point where they are fine with pursuing a man on occasion. I think people should just be honest with one another when they are attracted to one another regardless of their gender.
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