SoleMate Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 Has anyone else noticed how many times you read this kind of thing on LoveShack? Someone posts with a problem, and they get LS advice which seems to form a clear consensus on an analysis or course of action. And then the poster responds, "You know, that's what all my close friends have been telling me for months, but I really had to hear it from STRANGERS for it to sink in."
Curt Posted April 17, 2004 Moderators Posted April 17, 2004 I believe that sometimes we figure that, like ourselves, our friends (because of their strong ties to our lives) are perhaps too close to see the situation(s) we face in all their complexity. In hearing it from "strangers", it somehow gives the arguments that our friends proposed new or increased validity and/or worth. I suppose we can all take some degree of contentment in this idea. Fact is, if we are giving advice here that mirrors what friends of the posters are giving, then we can't be too far off in understanding the general "landscape" of the situations that the posters on Loveshack are facing. It also has something to say about the relatively "common aspects" of the human experience that we all share. Even though the specifics of situations differ, all too often the root problems/issues dealt with by posters are those same issues that everyone faces in life. As such, we can all share positive advice and feedback on the situations and issues that posters are facing in their lives. In essence, THAT is the great benefit of a forum such as Loveshack.org, and it is no doubt what keeps "regulars" coming back. Curt
Arabess Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 Perhaps a 'validation' from a stranger with noting to gain either way is helpful to people. Friends and family can have a predisposed mind set due to being too close to the situation.
Fedup&givingup Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 Good point, Sole Mate. I think it's as simple as anonymous strangers on the internet have absolutely no bias towards our lives or our situations.
dyermaker Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 I don't sugarcoat advice for my friends either, you'd think that would turn them off, but some like hearing it.
Fedup&givingup Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker I don't sugarcoat advice for my friends either, you'd think that would turn them off, but some like hearing it. That's a good quality then, I might say. To tell people what they want to hear is not very helpful.
moimeme Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 I don't sugarcoat advice for my friends either I think at least some people enjoy knowing they'll always get the straight truth from someone. Of course, sometimes you have to phrase some tough advice very carefully so not to wound someone, but there's ways to do that.
Tony T Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 I knew this all the while. I just had to read it here on LoveShack!!!
zarathustra Posted April 18, 2004 Posted April 18, 2004 Someone posts with a problem, and they get LS advice which seems to form a clear consensus on an analysis or course of action. And then the poster responds, "You know, that's what all my close friends have been telling me for months, but I really had to hear it from STRANGERS for it to sink in." Is LoveShack redundant, then? Does a LoveShack opinion consensus always parrot family and friend advice? I hope not. I'd like to think that with respect to many questions conventional wisdom (establishment opinion) is not the only voice heard. On the majority of questions, is opinion consensus invariably the best advice, if followed, for the particular consumer? Does consensus necessarily validate the advice given the particular consumer? Does majority always make right? Fortunately, LoveShack is big enough for the contrarian's outlaw advice.
Darkangelism Posted April 18, 2004 Posted April 18, 2004 Originally posted by zarathustra Is LoveShack redundant, then? Does a LoveShack opinion consensus always parrot family and friend advice? I hope not. I do not think so, the people on here have a lot more experience then most people's friends.
dyermaker Posted April 18, 2004 Posted April 18, 2004 Originally posted by zarathustra Fortunately, LoveShack is big enough for the contrarian's outlaw advice. But do you ever wonder if some contrarians's give outlaw advice, simply for contrarian's sake?
zarathustra Posted April 18, 2004 Posted April 18, 2004 DA, it would be interesting to find issues/problems where the LS consensus opinion diverged from the consumer's family and friends. I doubt that it happens very often.
Thinkalot Posted April 18, 2004 Posted April 18, 2004 There is always the fear that friends won't be objective, plus the more opinions the better, in my view, hence the valuable role of LS. What can get confusing, is when the advice given differs considerably amongst the different posters. It can be a test...and then again, I think I personally end up leaning towards the advice of my "Lshack buddies", who I have grown to respect.
Curt Posted April 18, 2004 Moderators Posted April 18, 2004 There are some ppl that go contrary to even what their own true position is, merely to get an argument going between posters. I also think that such an attitude does nothing for the people who are looking for honest advice, and clouds issues. It is a most childish and adolescent motive for contrarian's advice to be presented. IMHO, there is no place in any forum, internet or otherwise, for these individuals. Curt
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