Kiley12 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 I've been dating a guy for 2 months now and we've gone out on 8 or 9 (all going out) dates. He's got a busy high profile job and is super ambitious and successful but tries to make time for me when he can. There was a time he couldn't see me for almost 3 weeks because of work and other obligations but he made sure to express to me in many ways that although he was working, he would rather be spending time with me. We're taking it slow and he hasn't tried to sleep with me yet. We've only had one sleepover and it was PG. His birthday is coming up and he mentioned that he's planning on doing something but hasn't invited me yet. I'm using the birthday and whether he invites me or not as my indicator to where I stand. What do you guys think of the behavior? We're this many dates in and while he shows interest in continuing to see me there are other flags that make me think otherwise. Our communication in between dates isn't that great, only text (no calls), and sometimes 3 days goes by without hearing from him. Plus the almost 3 weeks of not seeing each other throws me off. He's explained why and it makes sense but there was definitely time he could have found to hang out which made me think he could be dating other people. If he doesn't invite me to his birthday, isn't that telling of where I stand? Thanks.
Eeyore79 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 My boyfriend isn't the best communicator, and tends to text rather than calling on the days he doesn't see me. He does contact me every day though, and texts several times throughout the day, plus he does call if he can't see me for a few days. How often does this guy contact you? It's a huge red flag if he frequently goes three days without contacting you. The first few months of a relationship is the honeymoon period where you're all loved up, and he's already having periods of three weeks where he doesn't see you?! That doesn't bode well for the future. Also I refuse to believe that he couldn't make a few hours for you if he really wanted to; nobody is so busy that they can't spare a couple of hours in an entire week. Are you sure he's busy and not with other girls? I'd be tempted to cut my losses on this one; he doesn't sound emotionally available or particularly interested in a relationship. If you do decide to continue seeing him, keep your panties on until such time as he makes a decent effort to make room for you in his life.
Author Kiley12 Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 My boyfriend isn't the best communicator, and tends to text rather than calling on the days he doesn't see me. He does contact me every day though, and texts several times throughout the day, plus he does call if he can't see me for a few days. How often does this guy contact you? It's a huge red flag if he frequently goes three days without contacting you. The first few months of a relationship is the honeymoon period where you're all loved up, and he's already having periods of three weeks where he doesn't see you?! That doesn't bode well for the future. Also I refuse to believe that he couldn't make a few hours for you if he really wanted to; nobody is so busy that they can't spare a couple of hours in an entire week. Are you sure he's busy and not with other girls? I'd be tempted to cut my losses on this one; he doesn't sound emotionally available or particularly interested in a relationship. If you do decide to continue seeing him, keep your panties on until such time as he makes a decent effort to make room for you in his life. He'll usually contact me day after date or every 2 days or I will. The three day NC period happened twice. I do believe that he's busy with work and that's his priority now. Not writing off that he could be with other girls though but my gut tells me he's not. I just don't get what his motivation is in continuing to see me for this long if he's not emotionally avail?
Eeyore79 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 After a couple of months I'd expect daily contact. It seems that he is interested in you, but wants you to be available at his convenience. It's all about his schedule and when he has time to fit you in, and he doesn't seem bothered about your needs. Is he insensitive in any other way, or perhaps inexperienced?
Author Kiley12 Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 After a couple of months I'd expect daily contact. It seems that he is interested in you, but wants you to be available at his convenience. It's all about his schedule and when he has time to fit you in, and he doesn't seem bothered about your needs. Is he insensitive in any other way, or perhaps inexperienced? Yes, he's shown me that his schedule is tough and admitted that he needs to draw some lines with work. His hours are really demanding because of the field he is in and he always takes on too much because of his ambitious nature, which would lead me to think that he has little time for dating. My vote is that he's inexperienced. He's been shy to make any move on me and it's only when I put in a little initiative that I get reciprocation. I think he needs more direction from me and I'm trying to be better about this because I like him.. but I'm shy and traditional when it comes to dating so it's a case of two shy people.
nyc_guy2003 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 If I had to bet one way or another I would wager that you're not the only person he's dating. One of my friends once gave me valuable words of advice: it doesn't matter how busy you are, you will always make time for the things that are important to you.
Author Kiley12 Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 If I had to bet one way or another I would wager that you're not the only person he's dating. One of my friends once gave me valuable words of advice: it doesn't matter how busy you are, you will always make time for the things that are important to you. Yeah. This is a critical week in the relationship and how he plays it will tell all. If he doesn't invite me to the birthday then I know where I stand and I can walk away from this like an adult.
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