uncertainperson Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 So... I've been with my girlfriend for 4 and half years and live in a rented flat with her... We get on really well, we know everything about each other and enjoy spending time with each other. Yet! Recently I been feeling like I want to go it alone, not sure what the catalyst is, or if there is even one..!I do love her, but I feel like I want to meet other women; I've been casually flirting with more girls when I'm out (not in a seedy way btw!)...A couple of weeks ago I met a friend of a friend...she's really my type and I think she likes me. We all went out as a group (not with my gf) this weekend and the girl was there again... didn't do anything but I so tempted. I realise this is probably ' grass is greener' syndrome but I can't get her out of my head. She gives me that exited feeling that I first had when I met my gf in 2006. I'm 24 - I first started going out with my gf when I was 19 and she was my first (apart from a few fumbles at school ) the idea of being with someone else is so tempting and I feel like I'm missing out on single freedoms a lil bit. Am I a twat? I feel awful, confused and uncertain. Mainly because me an my gf still have a good relationship - I'm pretty sure I'm the only one wobbling out of the two of us. And I love her. I just don't feel that buzz anymore, which I know is usual for long term relationships. Breaking up with her would crush her... And **** knows how I do that as we both live together in a one bed flat. Sorry this is rambling I'm a bit all over the place :-s
shook187 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 sounds like my situation. i was with my girl 5 years, and she's doing exactly what your doing. looking around, she was 15 when i met her, now 21. i assume strongly my ex will regret doing this. as i assume you will too. dude don't worry about the butterflys missing, and just because something else is there doesn't mean you have to take it. just take the ego boost and know if you really wanted to you could have her. you have a girl who's madly inlove with you and has proven faith to you and you wanna risk it with this other girl, imagine in 2 months time it goes pear shaped, and you regret it. this is a tough one, but from someone who has had this done to him take it from me, it's not wise. I resisted all temptation from models, skanks, just all girls in general because look, all it takes is one mistake to ruin your 4 year relationship.
Author uncertainperson Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Hmm I have been tempted before with 'opportunities' and have resisted so far. I think what makes this different is there's real chemistry with this girl rather than standard attraction (if you get what I mean) Plus it's not just moving on to another girl, I actually feel like I want more freedom to do what I want and have been pushing this more recently - more nights out with my bloke mates to the point where instead of going in holiday this year with my gf as we usually do, I'm going on a 2 week travelling holiday in Europe... I decided to leave my job in January to work for myself.. It was a positive change in my life... Perhaps that has changed my mindset...
stray Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 uncertain person, you should listen to shook, although I know you probably won't. It's really hard to find good, compatible partners. I mean, really hard. Just because you get along with this other girl on the surface doesn't mean you guys will get along any further than that. And in fact, you probably won't. If you have a great relationship, then don't f**k it up, because you may regret it. One of my exs dumped me after he graduated medical school, so he could have a "good time" in Thailand (his post med school vacation) and get with any girl he wanted because he was becoming a "hot doctor". But guess, what, he came crawling back a year later after he got tired of playing the field. And guess what else, I already had a new boyfriend who actually valued me and I told him to f**k off. So after you leave your girl, and mess around a bit, she won't be there when you come back. She'll have someone better - way better. Can you handle that?
Author uncertainperson Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 So I'm a bad person for thinking like this? You can't help your feelings...can you? I've never cheated before, and won't. Honestly I would leave before getting with anyone else. I think this sort of thing is a very male problem, the urge to sow your oats so to speak. Women are so much more level headed! You make a good point about finding a great partner... I haven't really gone through the ups and downs of single life as an adult so perhaps this lack of experience outside of a relationship is leading me down the wrong path...
shook187 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 I got dumped a month ago and the up's and downs are hurrendous. i haven't even let another girl within 5 miles of me as yet. not that they haven't tried. but really, who cares. at the end of the day, if your heart is no longer with this girl, listen to it. otherwise don't mess this up.
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