Lilmisus Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 I just want to throw it out there, for all the guys or girls who like to persist a woman or man until they scream at them to leave them alone, or run away in terror..that it's not cool. It's not cute. It's not sexy. It's not romantic. It's creepy. I have a coworker at my new job, who just wont leave me the hell alone, and I'm very close to just reporting him to management. It was okay at first..when he would just come up to me and ask random little questions, like how I was, where I was from, how I liked it there, etc. But, it's gotten to the point where his attention is just flat out creepy, and I have to pretend that I don't hear him and just walk away for him to leave me alone. What made it get to this point? Him always asking me questions. Harmless, yes, but not when I'm in a hurry and running to get to my tables and get everything done, and he's just standing in my way. Him always staring at me. Whether it be across the room, or standing right next to me, just watching, or standing on the other side of the stove or whatever, as I'm doing my job..just watching me...Him putting his arm around me when he walks by. If I don't give him attention, he'll just slide his arm around my waist, and just let it slide as he walks away. Or, he'll just stand there, till I walk away. Him waiting for me after work, and asking where I'm going as I'm leaving. He did this the other day. I was rushing to leave work to go to a party with a bunch of people, and I had to run back in to get someone's number, and he was standing there, waiting for me, and was asking me where I was going, what I was doing, and was trying to ask me to join him. He tried to follow me to my car, but didn't leave till I pulled out of the parking lot. Now. I don't know how long he's been there. Long enough for many people to get along well with him, I know. There's a few people who are very friendly towards him, but it seems most others view him as most do: mean, and creepy (someone told me that he's friendly at first, but then he's just a jerk..hoping it happens soon). Being as he's been there for a while, I don't want to get him fired or even in trouble..but the fact that I've shown no interest and have even asked him to stop a couple of times, makes it to where I don't really give a sh*t right now. So question: What should I do? Threaten to go to management? Actually go to management? Ignore it, and just tell him to leave me alone (again)? Or just..give the poor dude a shot..since he probably just needs to get laid?
rocketboy9 Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 If you are not interested be blunt and straight to the point. Here is the exact verbiage: "I am not interested. I dont want to date you, please leave me alone" Thats it, you are done. You mentioned giving him a shot? Why would you?
TheLawmaker Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 This is a key point. Someone who is clingy, to the point of it being creepy, is uncomfortable to the other person. I remember this girl from high school. She was in one of my study hall classes, and she would sit and stare at me for the whole class period. I'm serious. Just sit there, and stare at me for 50 mins. She was pretty, but obviously it creeped me the hell out. I ended up switching chairs, so she couldn't stare at me anymore.
Author Lilmisus Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 If you are not interested be blunt and straight to the point. Here is the exact verbiage: "I am not interested. I dont want to date you, please leave me alone" Thats it, you are done. You mentioned giving him a shot? Why would you? That was sarcasm in that last part more than anything I'm not planning on giving him a shot, regardless of how many people may or may not encourage me to do so. And I might just say that..but honestly..he comes across kind of like One Goal seemed to in his posts...so we'll see how far that gets me. But! On a good note...today, he didn't bother me at all. Could have been because he was leaving as I was coming in, so we only worked together for like 10 minutes, but regardless..it brightened up my night a bit to be left alone.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 That was sarcasm in that last part more than anything I'm not planning on giving him a shot, regardless of how many people may or may not encourage me to do so. And I might just say that..but honestly..he comes across kind of like One Goal seemed to in his posts...so we'll see how far that gets me. But! On a good note...today, he didn't bother me at all. Could have been because he was leaving as I was coming in, so we only worked together for like 10 minutes, but regardless..it brightened up my night a bit to be left alone. Continue to ignore him and see how it goes.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 So question: What should I do? Threaten to go to management? Actually go to management? Ignore it, and just tell him to leave me alone (again)? Or just..give the poor dude a shot..since he probably just needs to get laid? You are not reasoning your way through this effectively. You need to look at the seeming equation from his viewpoint. Clearly he'd like to get chummy with you in one way or another, but it's a fairly good bet that isn't going to happen per what you've described. So, consider that he feels nearer to you when being "a jerk" toward you, than when being completely ignored by you. Thus, what you should do is completely ignore him, no matter what your impulse. When confronted face to face by him, threaten to tell the authorities at your shared workplace. If that doesn't stop him - then TELL the authorities. The main strategy is ignore, ignore, ignore...
somedude81 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Why do women think that ignoring a guy is a viable strategy?
Author Lilmisus Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Why do women think that ignoring a guy is a viable strategy? Why wouldn't it be? If his not bothering me today is any hint that what I'm doing (or not doing) is working, then I'm gonna keep it up, but..maybe I'm wrong.
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