getsback Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 I know this has been said before by previous posters, but its good to put a post out like this every now and then for the new people on the site. A lot gets said about No Contact, whether you should keep in contact with your ex etc. And every situation is slightly different. But from my experiences in life, this one is true... If you are at the point where you are begging or pleading...STOP. If you are at the point where you are trying to persuade your ex to come back with logic...STOP. If you are sitting at home wondering what your ex is up to because you havnt heard from them for weeks/months...STOP. If you are trying to work out ways to manipulate your ex into liking you again or make them notice you...STOP STOP STOP. All these things indicate that they have moved on. And all these things indicate that its time to let them go and move on yourself. You see, if someone really loves you, you won't find yourself in a position where you are having to beg and plead. You won't find yourself in position where you have to try and get their attention. If two people love each other, they will both be trying to find a solution. Because it takes two to make a relationship work. If they love you, they won't be able to be apart from you for weeks or months at a time. They won't want to try dating other people or "be single for a while". They will be trying to make it work with you. The early stages of a break up are really tough. Its easy to live in denial and think that they will come around eventually and want you back. And sometimes, rarely, it happens. But the chances are that it will never happen. And the earlier you accept that, the easy it will be in the long run. I know its easier said then done to move on. We have all been there, that's why we are on this board. But it DOES get easier. Things DO become clearer. And if you can find the power to stop yourself from making all the mistakes during the break that will make you cringe 3 months down the line, then you will come out of it happier, healthier and damn proud of yourself!
Fedor Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Some people need to learn to let go. It's fine to grieve but at some point you need to at least think about your dignity. There comes a point in time where you have to look yourself in the mirror and ask if you would want to be with you.
Author getsback Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 Some people need to learn to let go. It's fine to grieve but at some point you need to at least think about your dignity. There comes a point in time where you have to look yourself in the mirror and ask if you would want to be with you. Yeah that was the exact point I got to when I let go....I said that same thing to myself, "would I want to be with me" and the answer was a hugeeee no! That's when you know its done.
Trovador Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Acceptance... that's the key... or Resignation, if you will... The battle is over, and we lost... Big deal... there are more important battles in life, and those are the ones we will have to fight until winning!
Mack05 Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Agree with all the above. When I was with my ex, I wouldn't want to be with me!!. Indeed, I think I was everything a woman shouldn't be looking for lol...In a way I judge her for staying with me as long as she did :-)..Hey at least I can laugh about it now. "there are more important battles in life, and those are the ones we will have to fight until winning!" Right on buddy!
Karala Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 I would want to be with me, lol, and I still can't believe how my ex prefered not to be with me! I sincerely do! Does that make me conceited? Ok then! But whatever... him wanting to be with me or not wanting to be with me is not my concern anymore. Great post :] Just one thing I don't agree 100% : If they love you, they won't be able to be apart from you for weeks or months at a time. They won't want to try dating other people or "be single for a while". They will be trying to make it work with you. I do think in some cases, you can sincerely love someone and still see and decide that you don't fit well with them. Someone not wanting to be with you doesn't necessarily don't "love" you anymore, I think. (But it DOES mean that they don't want to be with you and that you should move on!!) But maybe I'm just being picky on words. Or maybe that's just me wanting to cling to the comfort of thinking about how my ex supposedly still loves me, even if he wanted out. lol.
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