She said she had to be someone else to be with me,and she can't do it anymore!

[Mr.Happy]

I've been married almost 6 years and been with my wife for nine!We have on child and a 2.5 year old house! Early in our marriage I mad the mistake seeking a person to talk to because my wife brushed me off and treated me as if I wasn't important to her b4 pregnancy and after! I went outside my marriage for comfort w/o having sex with the young lady just in conversation. I never saw the young lady only during working hours and not in my leisure time! I had a meaningless kiss that comforted me from what I was missing @ home! Affection,caring and concern. I know @ the time it was wrong and didn't see it the but my wife couldn't seem to shake the kiss there after. It has always hindered our relationship. That was our first year of marriage when that happened. When she found out about it from research of an email and a phone conversation with the young lady,which my wife was told by her it was nothing but a kiss and my said it was gonna be something else if not for me being caught up! I beg to differ! I was sorry for what I had done but was missing that from my marriage and felt that was the way to deal wit it! Wrong! I still was so hurt from my wife pushing me away when we started to rekindle things I felt as if it wasn't genuine and talk I ignored her in a since and stop talking and acted like I wasn't concerned when she wanted to let me in and no brush me off anymore! Everything seem to be ok but it was not deep down on both sides. A few years after that another incident occurred with me telling a woman she looked nice w/o any sexual contents or leads to pursue anything! So now she wants out and said she feels nothing when she thinks of me! She said she has felt alone for almost 4 years from my lack of communication and I have because of I didn't know where to start as if I was scared to talk from the years she brushed me off. I wanted to be couldn't! Also just the other day she told me from the first time we meet and were together she had been someone else because I was different from anyone else and treated her lady like and our backgrounds are different! She basically has wanted to be herself but thought I wouldn't except that as if I would look @ her differently. I never told her she wasn't my type or didn't like the was she was. it ate my heart to hear her say that as if the ten years have been for show and not for real on her part! We never been to counseling or to talk to anyone about our problems and just tried to work it out on our on! And she's saying now that she's leaving I want help but I always have and we both ignored making a step towards seeking help! I want my family and wanna make my marriage to work but she's got her mind up saying"I don't believe you"! I would love take my decisions back I made and put all those negative choice's and turn it into positive efforts in working on my marriage! Just wanna be a better husband and person!