heartbroken555 Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) I had a phone conversation with my ex a couple of days ago, basically she told me she had no more feelings for me, and we wer done forever. She didnt really have any reasons to give me, but she said she sees me more as a friend now since we know each other so well ( she doesnt even want to meet me, so i guess im not even a friend lol ) anyways.... The hole time she was speaking to me, it felt like she was investigating into my life, and she didnt really want to give out any info on hers, she was also quite arrogant and shes the type of person, when she knows your weaknesses she will push your bottons. during the convo i picked up a cigarette and lit it up, she started saying how much i will never change, and i stil ldidnt stop smoking ( she knows its a big issue of mine, i always wanted to quit, but i always have trouble) anyways she basically was talking to me like im her little brother, and she said she was happy with her new life, and didnt want to change a thing, and she didnt want to answer any question about , if she thinks about us, if i miss her, and didnt want to answer anything about her new 'toy' ( they are not official, and she claims shes not in love, her friend even told me she is confused, doesnt know what she wants, and this dude is not even her type at all , so it sounds like a rebound. anyways, i know this girl, she is hard headed and she will never call me back, or give me a chance or go back with me. she basically claims she cant see us together anymore as a couple, and she lost her feelings for me. then i asked her how she would feel if i was to get married, or if i had a serious relationship... she paused...then said she doesnt know ( sounds like it would bother her ) i dont get it.... why does she say she doesnt feel anything for me, but then be bothered if i had a new gf ??? ( my ex had a relationship before, where she dumped her ex, and after a while he went out with her best friend, so she stopped talking to them both... but she dumped him though ? and he was crying and heartbroken....) anyways, i hate this, i went from being the love of her life, and the hottest guy she knows, and introducing me to her parents, introduced her to mine, Was always at her place, she was always at my place, eventually i moove 30 miles away to a new city to live 2 streets down her house, and two weeks later she dumps me ???? her reasons are, ismoke to much weed, im a bum, i smoke cigarettes and it got boring. So i started working on myself, i quit weed, i started going out more, changed my clothing style, did some major effort, working out ect... at firts she knew about it, and was texting me how happy she was that i quit weed, and that im taking care of myself, and even told my mom she thought a second shot would work out......but she never agreed to see me,she still didnt give a ****... she has a new man and shes happy.... see, thats what i dont get, how can you be with someone for a 14 month, have him move next to you, talk about marriage, talk bout kids, be completly in love, then one day, you love me less, and 2 month later youdont love me no more, and you got a new man.... heres how im feeling, im mad at myself, for not taking care of myself, and turning her off, and being to nice and clingy, and for the hole way i acted after the break up ( showing emotions, and trying to make her jealous, and playing games wich she saw right threw ) and im also mad at her, because she doesnt respect me, but the thing is, i ****en love her for some reason, so i want her respect, and its killing me... she sees me as a idiot whos not worth anything, and a part of me ( my ego) wants to get a revenge and show her what kind of man i am, and that she was wrong about me, but another side, just wishes she would come back.... i feel torn.... on one hand, how could i ever go back with her, knowing she slept with someone else...and that she thought i was disposable and no good... so **** her !! on the other hand. i love her, i miss her, and i dont know if ill ever meet a girl like her again....she was my dream girl... Edited June 12, 2011 by heartbroken555
Badenov Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 "Living well is the best revenge." You need to respect yourself first. That means becoming the kind of person YOU want to be. Don't do it to impress her. What you think of yourself is more important than what she thinks. Once you don't care about that, then she'll be impressed. Frankly, she sounds like a piece of s**t to me. Go NC & move on.
Axee Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Heartbroken, I have been there, now slowly I am getting better everyday and trust me people at sites like this one have been very very helpful ... I would suggest you go through this website http://www.baggagereclaim.com, though it is primarily written for girls, the same rules apply for men also I guess... In your case, I would say.. there are things people do because they are supposed to do, like talk of getting married, having kids etc, not because they are really serious about it... And as for her getting bothered about you being with someone else, she only feels bothered cause she wont be there in your life anymore.. not because she loves you... She may come back or she may not, but what if she chooses to leave you again citing yet another reason.. I gave another chance to my ex, only to be betrayed again... So as the earlier post says, go no contact , thats it, you will get feelings, tears , anger, hatred many many things, but just remain to be NO CONTACT... Things will start looking better, trust me it will.... All the best dear , and by the way good job on you quitting weed and changing your life, keep it up
giuliano-3 Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Well, you're being honest with yourself and that's a start. I went through a lot of the same stuff. I think Axee has an excellent point about just because you talked about marriage and kids doesn't mean one or both of you was all that serious about it. Certainly the case for me and my ex. Mine expressed that she would be "jealous" if I were to have another girl, which didn't make sense to me because she'd already met another bf within a week of breaking up (well I wouldn't call it breaking up as much as abandoning me). I don't know what goes on in their heads. Its been said that they never loved us. That we were sort of a pawn for them to get someplace, all along we were being used. I would advise not going through what I went through, a year of contact/NC which only served to feed my ego and obsession for getting her back. Even when I knew that getting back was a terrible option at best, and probably not an option at all. Sure, she strung me along and gave me hope for it - but in my heart I knew it wasn't for the best. More than anything I wanted to know that she needed me for more than physical survival. I still don't have a definitive answer.
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