Fufu Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) I haven't been online lately as I was pretty busy with other activities like going for job interviews as well as preparing for my Japanese Language Proficiency test on July 3rd. I just want to send all my well wishes to all the members here. Remember, losing someone you love and losing a relationship after a x number of months/years is not the END of the world. Ultimately, losing yourself and refuse to get back on track is the worst cruelty you can do to yourself. "When you move beyond your fear, you will feel free." I learnt this quote from Who moved my cheese book by the author, Spencer Johnson. Changes happen in life, as long as you have the courage to understand and anticipate changes, you will be able to learn to accept and enjoy the changes. It's been 10 months for me after my previous relationship ended. I am pleasantly surprised for these 10 months, I've been through the process of the break up and I'm happy to say that I'm not only survive the pain and grief, I've too learned so much more about myself. And I know, down the years, I will definitely do better. This goes to everyone here too. Never give up on yourself even when the person you love and trust most give up on you. Edited June 12, 2011 by Fufu
reimeivn Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 A month and a half. Have everything planned out for me only, and redecorated my place. Went on a super fun vacation. Think about him occasionally, like 3 4 times per day, not ALL THE TIMES like before. I am fine. Still cry but just because of thinking about how much he hurt me in the past. The only thing that can hurt me right now, is not him not being with me, or loving me, or caring about me. I am fine. Just the thoughts of him being with somebody else. I still need time to work on myself. I still have this feelings that I was not good enough for him even though I know it is wrong. And I am a bit scared of being around guys that interested in me.
Trovador Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Thanks for your wishes. I am doing very well, I am not yet the man I want to be but I am getting there... I am not sad or angry and slowly I am reaching that blissful nirvana called indifference... A day at a time, that's what it takes... a day at a time... Good luck with your activities!
NicoleM Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 I am not doing very good at all. I thought about him the past couple of days because I past his neighborhood ( not stalking) I had to go to the mall with my friend and that mall happens to be in his neighborhood. Second I went to the nightclub for the first time where we went on a date and that didn't go too well because I kept thinking about him. Third I found out he must be in a serious relationship because he deleted his dating account ( and he was quite a regular) So ya not doing too good at all:o I was doing good for awhile and then the memories came back.
Author Fufu Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 A month and a half. Have everything planned out for me only, and redecorated my place. Went on a super fun vacation. Think about him occasionally, like 3 4 times per day, not ALL THE TIMES like before. I am fine. Still cry but just because of thinking about how much he hurt me in the past. The only thing that can hurt me right now, is not him not being with me, or loving me, or caring about me. I am fine. Just the thoughts of him being with somebody else. I still need time to work on myself. I still have this feelings that I was not good enough for him even though I know it is wrong. And I am a bit scared of being around guys that interested in me. Take it slow, a new and sincere relationship doesn't have to be rushed You are on the right track of getting yourself back. I do still think of my ex time to time.
Author Fufu Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Thanks for your wishes. I am doing very well, I am not yet the man I want to be but I am getting there... I am not sad or angry and slowly I am reaching that blissful nirvana called indifference... A day at a time, that's what it takes... a day at a time... Good luck with your activities! Your welcome Good to hear that you are doing well. All the best in your happiness and health ^_^
Author Fufu Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 I am not doing very good at all. I thought about him the past couple of days because I past his neighborhood ( not stalking) I had to go to the mall with my friend and that mall happens to be in his neighborhood. Second I went to the nightclub for the first time where we went on a date and that didn't go too well because I kept thinking about him. Third I found out he must be in a serious relationship because he deleted his dating account ( and he was quite a regular) So ya not doing too good at all:o I was doing good for awhile and then the memories came back. Hi Nicole, don't be too hard on yourself. Honestly, when I drove past my ex's neighborhood, I still think of him and miss him as well. How about stop yourself from finding out about his dating account? Sometimes, I feel that ignorance is a bliss. Anyway, there are always up and downs in life, if you feel down, do something to make yourself feel happy again. You can do it Be strong.
shook187 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 a month later and i feel good. i went for a 10km run before and i saw her car, i wasn't bothered. the old me would wait at the car for her to return. i've realised, begging won't help. i have two upsides. our relationship had no malice involved so the chance of a rekindlement is possible, but if not, i'm strong enough now to go alone anyway. just gotta find the positives.
knathema Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Almost 2 months since the split, i am actually surprised that i am doing this good. I haven't really thought about her all that much in the past few days, but occasionally i still do but i feel nothing anymore. I have been going to the gym 6 days a week. I have been pretty busy with school and I am graduating with a certificate for pharmacy tech at the end of the year and moving onto actual pharmacy school. I am starting my internship at a local hospital for the summer plus taking 17 credits. Been hanging out with my friends a lot lately, and we're actually planning a trip to go camping in a week. I also met some new people, life is good right now
Sugarkane Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Hi Fufu I wondered what happened to you. It sounds like you are doing well. Next week is 1 year NC for me and the anniversary of my breakup.
Author Fufu Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 a month later and i feel good. i went for a 10km run before and i saw her car, i wasn't bothered. the old me would wait at the car for her to return. i've realised, begging won't help. i have two upsides. our relationship had no malice involved so the chance of a rekindlement is possible, but if not, i'm strong enough now to go alone anyway. just gotta find the positives. Fully agree with you, begging really won't help. In fact, it only will make the dumpee much much more depressed. You are a very positive person, keep it up
Author Fufu Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Almost 2 months since the split, i am actually surprised that i am doing this good. I haven't really thought about her all that much in the past few days, but occasionally i still do but i feel nothing anymore. I have been going to the gym 6 days a week. I have been pretty busy with school and I am graduating with a certificate for pharmacy tech at the end of the year and moving onto actual pharmacy school. I am starting my internship at a local hospital for the summer plus taking 17 credits. Been hanging out with my friends a lot lately, and we're actually planning a trip to go camping in a week. I also met some new people, life is good right now You are really doing well I too still think of my ex occasionally. Advance congratulations of getting your certificate in pharmacy tech Life is always good.... depending on how we view our own lives. Enjoy your camping trip with your friends
Author Fufu Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Hi Fufu I wondered what happened to you. It sounds like you are doing well. Next week is 1 year NC for me and the anniversary of my breakup. Hi Sugarkane, are you referring to my previous relationship? I realized I make a typo error, it has been 8 months since the break up. I'm 2 months ahead, haha. Don't over think too much of your break up, i know at times we all still will think of our exes, though don't let the thinking becomes obsessive thinking.
Jdw_Icequeen Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 I am glad to see your doing so well I was wondering what happend to you.. Its been almost 7 months for me now and up until recently have been struggling with getting him to try to be a part of his sons life. I know that I can't make him be a father to his son. So I have finally given up and going back to NC.. I am even giving up on the money he owes me, money isn't everything and we will be fine. Again I am really happy to see your doing so well and DON"T BE A STRANGER!!
Author Fufu Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 Jdw_Icequeen: Yoz I can tell you are doing very well too. I'm so happy to hear this ^_^ Pretty busy with work interviews and preparing for my japanese language exam. I too have given up hope that he will ever come back. I've decided to give myself a chance for better relationships in near future. Never give up the whole forest just because a tree has fallen.
calndn Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Hi Fufu I always think you have such good things to say whenever ive seen your responses on posts. Ive always read them and found myself agreeing with you. Im 7/8 months out of my breakup now and after 10 weeks of counselling over the last 2 1/2 months im finally starting to feel better...yes I go back and forth and up and down but generally im in a much much much better place than I was 3 months ago when my ex came back into my life. Really we only ever had 4 weeks where we went without txting/speaking/seeing eachother at the most until end of march where I went about 5 weeks then saw him and now its been 6/7 weeks with nothing. Its weird. Very weird, I wonder what hes up to etc. And like reimeivin said I now just worry about him being with someone else which I have suspicion to believe that he is (I actually have no idea) but in my head I just think he is. And it hurts, I know hes been on a date my friends saw him. It hurts to think that I may now no longer mean anything to him. But I am better, and I know we arent going to get back together just some days it hurts still. I also feel just lonely sometimes like I will never find anyone else, and I want someone, someone whom I got on with as well as I did with my ex...and I just dont think/cant believe I will find that. Thats what upsets me now. xxx
Author Fufu Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 calndn: Thank you very much You are definitely doing better and better. I can understand the sucky feeling of whether our ex gotten into a new relationship or start to date people. For myself, I've come to believe my ex has already started dating or in a relationship. The good thing is no matter how sucky we feel, we will always come to the acceptance stage. Personally, no matter what my ex is doing now, they no longer matters to me.
AmericanHoney Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I am coping pefectly. I do not even want my ex back and as far as I am concerned I wish him well because I hope his new GF puts up with his self-centered behavior and his constant ups and downs. I put up with it but eventually he choose her over me and that's okay because like I said I do not even want him dragging me down.
reimeivn Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I tell myself all the times that yes he is seeing somebody else, or at least, planning to. And that is his life. I do not want to be back with him. So whatever. Hes gone. Hes not in my life right now. And I start seeing things in the future with absolutely so him. Which is nice. You should try it.
Author Fufu Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 I am coping pefectly. I do not even want my ex back and as far as I am concerned I wish him well because I hope his new GF puts up with his self-centered behavior and his constant ups and downs. I put up with it but eventually he choose her over me and that's okay because like I said I do not even want him dragging me down. Definitely, you will find someone more suitable and better for yourself I like your positive attitude.
Author Fufu Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 I tell myself all the times that yes he is seeing somebody else, or at least, planning to. And that is his life. I do not want to be back with him. So whatever. Hes gone. Hes not in my life right now. And I start seeing things in the future with absolutely so him. Which is nice. You should try it. I agree with you, once they choose to go, they are gone. I've see my future without him... not even future. Today, I am happily single.
calndn Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 So I saw my ex in the pub last night he happened to be in same one. And wow it was weird had it been 3 months ago I'd have got upset or gone to chat to him at length. I said hi as it looked like he wasn't going to or didn't know whether he should or not which was what I thought but I bit the bullet just said hi then walked off that was it he soon left without saying bye(we were at back so would have been weird if he had) but fufu I know you've read my post about feeling like we never went out well that's what I felt when I saw him I was like 'god did I really go out with you, was I really in love with you because it sure don't feel like it' it just sucked to see him it was no biggie but just sucked. He had put on weight and didn't look good where as I think I looked nice I hope anyway! But yeah it wa weird it was like we were strangers. But I'm ok, got a little upset when I got home but more because it wss just so weird. I hope this feeling continues though xxx
Author Fufu Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 So I saw my ex in the pub last night he happened to be in same one. And wow it was weird had it been 3 months ago I'd have got upset or gone to chat to him at length. I said hi as it looked like he wasn't going to or didn't know whether he should or not which was what I thought but I bit the bullet just said hi then walked off that was it he soon left without saying bye(we were at back so would have been weird if he had) but fufu I know you've read my post about feeling like we never went out well that's what I felt when I saw him I was like 'god did I really go out with you, was I really in love with you because it sure don't feel like it' it just sucked to see him it was no biggie but just sucked. He had put on weight and didn't look good where as I think I looked nice I hope anyway! But yeah it wa weird it was like we were strangers. But I'm ok, got a little upset when I got home but more because it wss just so weird. I hope this feeling continues though xxx Such coincidence, for myself I don think I will meet my ex in anywheres anymore. I believe you have come to or near the acceptance stage that being with him was already a past and this no longer represents you today and in future. Feeling upset was normal or perhaps it was not really upset, it could be nostalgia feelings, we are human beings after all I have faith that your feelings towards him and/or the relationship will only get better and better. You will eventually move and away from the break up 100% free.
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