Helda Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) I am having big problems with my current boyfriend. He is going away with his ex and I have bust it by giving him an ultimatum. Go with her and I go. He broke it off with me. We are going to a music gig togther thought next week and he has agreed to still go. I want to appear unfazed by him and his ex's r/s and want him back what should I do? Edited June 12, 2011 by Helda wrong point of view
Ultrasonic Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 ...Why did you give him such an ultimatum? Whenever you do that, you're just setting yourself up for heart break. A little more back story would help, I mean, were they still good friends? Were you just being jealous? OR did you have real suspensions and real reasons to believe he was going to do something with her? (And by "going away" do you mean like for a vacation or something?) If you want to appear unfazed, then be happy and outgoing...and..unfazed. You can't fake it though; you need to build up your energy and happy thoughts (yes literally) before you meet up and you'll be able to do it. Just don't go overboard. At this point, if you want him back, I think you need to apologize for how you acted and what you said; and express real feelings. One of the reasons my ex broke up with me is because I would say things cruelly instead of expressing my real feelings; and it always generated an argument. (Like demanding she come home after being out with her friends all day, instead of telling her that I missed her and wanted to be with her)
dangerstranger Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Doesn't it tell you everything you need to know? I know from your other thread that he was one month out of a 5 year relationship when you met right? You've been together 4 months? 5 Years is impossible to compete with so soon after his break up.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 You were his rebound girl and thats why he picked her. You cant compete with that. If you got him back, you dont have his heart and emotions, you will only get sex from him. Im sure you dont want that. The only way to appear unfazed is to show up with a date, and completely ignore your date. He doesnt want you back anyway, so you might as well be doing this.
EgoJoe Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Don't go. Tell him you're not going. Do not talk to him. Tell him, "When I want to talk to you I will get ahold of you. Until then, goodbye."
Fufu Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 I am feeling confused. He's with you but he's going out with his ex-gf? And then now he chose his ex-gf over you?
Author Helda Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 Hi I was confused too! I said choose me or go on holiday with her (the ex). He said I was unreasonable and said he wouldn't cancel their weekend away. So I borke it off. We have tickets to a concert and he suggested we still go as friends rather than let them go to waste. He has told me today he feels bad, made a mistake and wants to give it another go with me but he still won't budge on the holiday with the ex. He says we have only been seeing each other for a few months and we're in the early stages and that I have been too controlling from the start.
Fufu Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Hmm.. why does he want to go to a holiday with his ex? Do you feel weird about this? Personally, I do. Did he invite you to go along as well? If no, something is even more wrong in my opinion. What I feel is that, if he wants to have a sincere and committed relationship and yet he still strongly wants to go to the holiday with is ex-gf, this just doesn't bode well for me. My take on this is, if he still really wants to go to the holiday with his ex-gf, let him go. In the meantime, thoroughly think through this relationship whether is this worth continuing our not.
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