Intergalactic Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) so i'm going on a "date" this week with a guy i've been messaging on OKC. we've been emailing for about a month, exchanged numbers recently and have been texting (i haven't wanted a phone call because i'm not really sure about having a big convo with a guy i haven't even met yet.. i feel it would be a bit awkward) and he asked me to go for coffee sometime this week. i replied and said yes, but i'm REALLY nervous about this whole thing. i was never really sure what i was looking for out of joining OKC, and i don't have a lot of self-confidence so i kind of feel like i'm really setting myself up for failure here. any tips on what to wear/how to make conversation if it's slightly awkward/what to do on a first "internet" date for a noob? thanks! oh ps. what do people usually expect from these first meetings? i mean, obviously it's a dating site but i don't want to give the impression that i'm there JUST to find a lover or relationship because i'm not (like i said, i'm not really sure what i want from it yet) but i'm perfectly willing to meet people and i'm hoping it might build a little self-confidence/self esteem (since i'm 23 and it's getting ridiculous). i just don't want to go and give this guy the idea that i want to take it further if i don't and i tend to be pretty warm/touchy/etc as a person and it's not necessarily because i like someone in a romantic way. Edited June 12, 2011 by Intergalactic
oaks Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Wear whatever makes you comfortable, otherwise you'll be even more nervous.
thatone Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 after the initial contact online it's no different than regular dating. you show up, eat, drink, talk, and figure out what you think. if you want to see him again say yes when he asks. if not you let him down politely and say you're not interested in seeing him anymore. the same goes for him. that's it.
alexlakeman Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 You are the woman, so you have it made ... It's up to the guy to keep the conversation going, momentum going .. if there's conversation; great.. if not, oh well.. I typically never have a woman at the end of the date that they didn't like the date or that there's no chemistry, nor have I done that.. I find out they didn't like it once I call or text and I get no response OR they text or call and they get no response... Easiest way, I feel
Ross MwcFan Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Yup, you're a woman, so it's all down to the guy. All you need to do is just sit back and let him do all the work. Then, based on his performance, you decide whether you want to see him again or not.
SmileFace Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) What the hell are you guys talking about?(Wait, I am pretty sure Ross was being cheeky) What do you mean just sit there and let the guy lead? Do you know where I would have ended up on most of my first dates if I did that that? I am not to sure how far you and the guy have communicated becasue a month is a long time. However, just treat this a coffee with a friend. Do not go into this with any expectations. I repeat to you again - NO EXPECTATIONS. I have been on many coffee dates, many that never went past that but still a success in my eyes. Just relax and go enjoy yourself. Wear something that is you. I have overdressed to what people may say is a acceptable for a coffee date but I overdress in my day to day life. My point is - just be you. Edited June 12, 2011 by SmileFace
Velociraptor Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 alexlakeman and Ross Mwcfan is 100% right. You are a woman, you don't need to worry about "how to make conversation if it's slightly awkward"... only worrys you have is I guess about what to wear. The guy will lead the conversation, ask all the questions and keep it going. You'll just have to sit back and respond to his questions.
Author Intergalactic Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 i don't really get it. are you guys trying to say that i literally have to do almost nothing, not lead any conversation or make any effort? that because i'm a girl he'll just... want me regardless and that it'll be up to me if i want to pursue it further? this can't be true unless men on online dating sites are literally desperate for sex or a relationship or both and will just take whatever woman they can get to go on a date with them.
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