Roxxstar Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Hi everyone, unfortunately I'm back here again. If you look up my old posts you'll get the back story. Last Sept my then ex-girlfriend and started talking a little, played some golf together, and ended up back together. I was thrilled; we both were. We both said we never stopped loving each other, that it felt like it was meant to be. Everything was perfect, we spent the holidays together, started living & talking about how it just felt so right. She declared her love and so did I. In March she told me some of the issues from her past we're haunting her(she had a horrible childhood, abandoned by her mother @ 4 years old, sexually abused by a step brother for 5 years, and when she got the courage to tell her father and step mother, they disowned her...literally). She spent years at the shrink & therapist before I even met her, working through these issues. She said her demons from the past we're really bothering her and she needed to go back to the shrink and wanted me to go with her. I said no problem. She also said she needed us to stop having sex, it was just too much for her. Again, I said no worries, I love you. But she never wanted to commit to actually going. We still spent a lot of time together, kissed hugged, all that just no sex. The whole time she is saying she is so in love with me, wanted to travel together, and wanted to marry me. It wasn't just to me either, she said it to her friends and sister. Then all of the sudden on my birthday, after the party she planned for me. We get home, I'm happy as a mental patient because I'm with the love of my life. And when we get in bed, I start talking about a trip we've been planning and she says... I don't want to do this, I don't want this. Her words, "I love you with all my heart, in my head I know I would have an amazing wonderful life with you. But my gut tells me to run." then later on she says "I just don't think of you in that way anymore." WTF!!! I was completely caught off guard and needless to say, devastated. She packed up most of her things and left the next morning. I went NC for 2 weeks. Then IM'd her. She was nice but cool. I asked to meet with her and she said she wanted to know my intentions. I was nice and explained I wanted to talk about things and she said she didn't want to rehash. Again... WTF!?!? Never heard from her so finally last thursday I texted her. and I never got a response. I'm crushed, but I know she has some serious issues, issues she doesn't want to address. I also know I'll be fine, eventually. But I can't help but think everything she said was complete Bull***** I figured I'd post here if nothing more than maybe my story will help someone else. Losing someone you love is terrible, losing your soulmate is hell.
kittycat95 Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 hey, i just wanted to say you aren't alone. I'm going through Hell on Earth right now myself. It's got to get better...right? I can relate to the idea of hope. My relationship was long distance for the past year and a half. Despite that we never fully broke up. I always thought when he moved back home things would be easier and more natural between us. We saw each other once when he moved back home, last week, and he was so attentive and calling a lot, we made some fun date plans together, and I really thought he and I would finally have a lovely summer together. Well, this past weekend, we had some dumb argument over the phone, he got mad over something and I should have just let it go, but I got emotional, called and emailed him a whole bunch of times, knowing he hates that, and of course he just ignored me. I got more emotional, said it was over (didn't mean it...) and the next I hear from him he says "get over it, we're broken up," and he's ignored me since. I finally decided to stop making a fool of myself and stop trying to contact him (b/c I've been emailing him saying I'm sorry and I miss him...etc) and I just feel crushed and heart-broken. I wish he could know how I felt.
RuinedLife Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Sorry to read that you are both suffering and hurting so much too The pain really is unbearable and like a living hell as Roxxstar refers to it. But at least we're not alone in feeling this way. We have to try and help each other through this I guess. We have to be "break up buddies" as it were and try to support each other through these tough times.
Fufu Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Cheer up... I only can say, if you lose yourself ultimately, it is worse than hell.
Axee Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Roxxstar.. A break up is hard, v v hard.. But self pity is going to take you nowhere.. She may have issues, she might not have.. maybe not the truth, but what if whatever she told you was a pack of lies? so please, you dont have to fix her issues for her, she is a grown up adult.. You have done your best,go NC..... If you want her to come back again, but Roxxstar, how many chances will you give her, 1 , 2 .. 10? You dont love yourself?
Duckduckgoose Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Her issues are hers and hers alone. When you move along from this you will look back and sigh with relief.
marqueemoon4 Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 yea man.. she was covered in red flags but you pressed on anyway.. I did the same thing, ultimately it came back to bite me big time. you can't expect anyone from her background to maintain a healthy relationship with anyone without LOTS of counseling. do your best to focus on you and try and put her behind you, you'll be glad you did in the long run.
Author Roxxstar Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 Yeah I agree I need to move on and forget about her forever Just exactly do you do that? Sometimes I'm very strong, other times I'm a wreck. I know it takes time. This all happened over this last memorial day.
Duckduckgoose Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Yeah I agree I need to move on and forget about her forever Just exactly do you do that? Sometimes I'm very strong, other times I'm a wreck. I know it takes time. This all happened over this last memorial day. Oh it definitely takes time. My exH had some issues. I didn't get into his family's issues in my divorce and coping threads, but you're gonna be on a rollercoaster for a bit. There's gonna be good days and bad days. Stupid and cliche? Hell yeah... and if you hate rollercoasters like I do you will want off that mad machine the sooner the better! Just work on yourself. Take life a day at a time. Don't contact her in any way unless its about getting your things back, and best to do that by mail if you can. Do not respond to her contacting you. Do the things YOU want to do that you couldn't do with her around. Now is the best time
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