kittycat95 Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 The break up happened exactly one week ago. I've had a very tough time letting it go and I kept calling and emailing him for all of last week. This was a 4+ year relationship, very on and off, went through long distance for the past year, which just ended, consequently I thought things would improve, but we broke up. I called and email trying to say sorry and reconcile, but he ignored everything, he even ignored the e-cards that I sent. Yesterday I decided to cut all my contact and stop trying to get in touch with him so today is the first day I have gone without contacting him or trying to contact him, and it physically hurts. Can't stop thinking about him, can't stop wishing and hoping he will call me and everything will magically be better, can't stop obsessing over thoughts of him with other girls. Feel awful
pie2 Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Don't give up...you'll make it through these darker times, and will see brighter days soon. Just remember, you're not alone
Author kittycat95 Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 I called him, and his telephone was off. Now I'm wondering WHY, and what that means Gosh. That's what I get for calling
NicoleM Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 I hate to say this but I think he probably saw your number ( if he has a cell) and if your number popped up he probably hit ignore and let it go to voicemail. I called my ex once and he did the same thing and I figured it had to be he saw my number hit ignore and let it go to voice mail.
light_vader Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 I called him, and his telephone was off. Now I'm wondering WHY, and what that means Gosh. That's what I get for calling I know, last night what I got for spying her was finding out she already has another "lover" (not the guy she cheated me with) and they were at a motel hahahha I am getting over it, but still have issues. In your case since it's so recent.. it's understandable. And from reading your story I think your male friend supporter is not really good at it Just kidding... maybe call that friend and talk about what you just did. The fact is, our EXes could be having sex this moment with someone, they could be having sex tomorrow again, and then the day after that and so on and they could on an unstoppable sex spree the whole year reaching the guiness record with different partners... Or they could hook up with just one partner in the future and marry that partner and have children. Does that make a difference? The truth is... is it your life or theirs? Exactly. It's theirs. Whatever they decide to do with their bodies or minds is their choice. All we can really do is focus on the most wonderful being around... each of us!!! To focus on improving our life, to focus on getting a stronger mindset. Will you let him be your life? Look. Life is so wonderful, literally FILLED with LOTS of things. Not just a person or a relationship. There are so much things you could be doing right now, try thinking in one of them. One of them not related with having contact with him. One that certainly doesn't remind you of him and his presence. Do you like bunnies? I'll give you one:bunny:
Author kittycat95 Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 lol you're so sweet, actually I love bunnies His phone was probably off, I know because I called him from a different number and it still went to voicemail. He either switched it off or his battery died, but whatever I shouldn't have even called him at all. I actually just sent him a video on youtube that I found cute/inspirational and emailed him something I saw on craigslist about someone offering free fishing boats because he likes fishing. I know I am cheating on my NCR. I have a feeling he has talked to his therapist and he is ignoring me based on their sessions...
C00LKATES Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Kittycat, Seriously stop. I know how hurt you are. If you cannot stop at least contain. If it was a 4 year relationship. He will reach out. Please give it at least two weeks. Talk to a friend or seek therapy. I've learned the hard way. Look at this as a new chapter in your life. He's not chasing you....Don't make yourself look so desperate. You're not a doormat girl!
Author kittycat95 Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 I know that this was obsessive of me, but I felt panicked that he somehow blocked my number, or any unknown number (because I dialed him from a blocked number and it also went to VM)....so I bought some credit on my Skype and made a call to him that way, and it still went to voicemail. Well, at least now I know his phone is most likely off, and he isn't just not picking up I feel silly.
light_vader Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 I feel silly. Because you're being. No bunnies for you this time... He's gone and wants no contact. What happens if he blocked you? What happens if he didn't and answers? Whatdya gonna say? Beg him back? Beg for his love? Tell him to blow himself off? Are you going to let him control your mind? Your thoughts? It's normal and believe me, we were there. But it's not healthy. It's obsessive and totally counter-productive for your own pretty self. Do you consider yourself worthless? He might have been a great guy, with lots of qualities. But you know what... he doesn't want you in his life, that is his choice. Why obsessing over someone NOT willing to share a path in life together with you? I'm sure you have a lot to offer to this world. Remember that. And also remember there is someone, might not be found in a month or two, maybe in a couple of years. But there is someone who will be willing to stay with you, willing to share his life with yours. That's who you should be heading for in the future, not some guy who is just, not interested in you anymore.
Author kittycat95 Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 I guess I am mostly just in denial that he might call me. Actually, calling and realizing his phone was off just made me miss him all the more. I've sort of put him on a pedestal I guess, and couldn't help but think "awww" at the thought he might have turned his phone off to sleep restfully. I think this thought is plain psychotic and creepy. Yes, I love him, but the fact is he hasn't indicated that he wants to continue on any path with me... so that's that, I suppose. Actually, Memorial Day, when we went out together, he had told me he wanted to work on things together. Obviously, actions speak louder than words... I also know he is bipolar and working through issues with a counselor right now, for what it is worth. I lost my cool, I realize now, because I also have a lot to work on myself now before I can give myself to somebody again. If there's a chance he does come back, that is likely what I will tell him, that I really can't right now because I am just too broken. But again, that's just a sad, wistful thought of mine. Thoughts? And much appreciation to everyone who has read and responded. I truly am grateful for the kindness and support
Badenov Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 The break up happened exactly one week ago. A week is a very short time. Give yourself some time to heal. Whenever you feel the urge to reach out to him, post here instead. We'll all be here for you.
Author kittycat95 Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 I called him today upon waking. He didn't pick up. I don't know why he would. Feel pretty sad
Roxxstar Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 I'm feeling the same boat Cat. Super sad today. I'm trying to keep myself busy, steam cleaning the tile in my showers. That's what its come to, beautiful day in AZ, and I'm steam cleaning a shower.
Nita10 Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 It's only been a week!! That's absolutely nothing! You should really stop calling.. I'm sorry but that's only going to drive him away.. Everyone here will tell you not to contact him at all.. You might choose to do otherwise but I guarantee that you'll end up like most of us.. regretting it! You said it yourself.. you're too broken right now.. so focus on yourself and fix what's broken.. do it for yourself and not for him. Hope you have a better day today.
NicoleM Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Everyone at LS is here for you. I know how it feels you want to talk to him you hope he calls you but calling him isn't going to help things it is only going to make things worse believe me. I texted my ex, emailed him and needless to say if there was even the slightest second chance I blew that one with my e-mails and texts. You need to let him call you this time okay?? He knows your number:) and if he doesn't call you then it wasn't meant to be and if he does great! Just focus on not calling him because that will not make the situation any better and try to keep your head up and try and be happy.
Author kittycat95 Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Thank you for the support. I actually vowed to NOT contact him for a while, but I sort of snapped last night (sent an innocuous-enough email) and then two more emails today, 4 calls, and 2 texts. I haven't said anything bad, I've been sort of romantic you could say, and in my texts just saying I know he's busy and to keep up the good work, and I called him sweety. I know the ball is in his court, I just can't shake my attempts to keep "trying" even though...I don't know. I've been throwing myself into my work today and it's been somewhat helpful. I left the house to go study at a Starbucks, put on my headphones, and have been working for a few hours. I feel alright. I just keep praying he'll get in touch with me, but I guess not talking to me is message enough, right? I know it's bad to have "false hope" but I am just trying to stay positive throughout this, keep my head up, choose to be happy, take care of my health, etc. A week is not long at all. I should hear from him sooner or later, I mean he can't never speak to me again (I hope not).
NicoleM Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 You never know........ It's hard I know;) Try and hang out with friends, do something fun go for walk,etc and try and get your mind off of him. Remember the ball is in his court now okay?? No more contact trust me;)
nyc_guy2003 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 So basically after you started no contact you contacted him 9 times in the span of half a day? Reality check -- that is a lot of contact for 2 months, let alone 2 days.
Fufu Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 a week break up, the wounds are still fresh and it's really normal you are feeling the fear, the sadness.... Right now, contacting him is not going to help because the other party is not interested to listen therefore the rejection from him is just going to make you feel much more hurt. Why not spend this quality time to work on yourself, focus on yourself. Perhaps, spend more time with your family and friends and rediscovered yourself. Trust me, if ever your ex felt that he made a mistake by breaking up with you, let him be the one to come back to open up the communication with you sincerely. By then, you will be clear-headed and able to think logically if this relationship is worth a try again. Right now, just focus on yourself and move away from the pain.
Badenov Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 OK, Kitty, let's try to nail this down for you. What is it that's bothering you most? Not knowing why? The sense of being rejected? Nostalgia for the past? Dig deep & ask yourself why you feel the need to talk with him so badly. It might be the 1st step towards healing.
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