MrElusive Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 It's been around 4-5 months since I broke up with my ex, things ended quite abruptly and I was the one to initiate NC(for anyone who is interested check out my original thread here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t270491/ and my other thread regarding her getting back in contact with me: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t270830/). Now I seem to be getting over her as each day passes I seem to think of her less and less, I'm beginning to pick myself up again and start to realise my own self-worth... But I have a question... Is it normal to still think of her 20% of every day? Is it normal to be reminded of her every time I see a car of the same sort she drives around? It's funny how on some days when I'm missing her I'll subconsciously try and justify all the things she's done to hurt me, although I do stop and remind myself at times that it's just me trying to convince myself that things could of been different. Some experiential advice would really go a long way right now. Thanks in advance.
Jman171 Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 I've only been in NC for about a month, but it is going to be hard to forget the bond that you and your ex shared. I'm still pretty fresh on this no contact thing so i'd say I think of her for about 70% of the day, but I know I shouldn't. I also remind myself of the things my ex used to do that hurt me. And that word "me" means a lot, because as of now it's not about your ex, it's about YOU getting better for yourself.
2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 (edited) Hi I am about 6 months out and still have thoughts now and again, yes it is quite normal to think about them if you see things that remind you of her. I actually had a bit of a set back when I thought my healing for all intents and purposes was in the bag, I don't really know but I just went back to the missing her feelings but it is gone now. All I can say is that it will take a long time to totally forget about her or him. I think it is going to be at least another six months before I have a day when I won't think of her. You get stages where you think you are healed but you are not i've had about two but really all they are is stages of healing, you are reaching each point in healing and you do notice. The first one I had was the emotions stopped, then the kind of anger resentment wanting to work it out again, then finally acceptance. The first 6 months is getting over all the emotions and running through the situation in your head and coming to acceptance stage - knowing it is truly over, you will never see or speak to them again etc. 2011 Edited June 12, 2011 by 2011
Trovador Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 The thing about her car is something that bothers me still a bit (mostly because it might be her and I don't want to see her, at all) ... a white sedan, and in my city they are majority... but I stop worrying about that... when I find myself thinking of her (yep, nowadays I find myself thinking of her, that is, it's like those thoughts are fighting for their life, refusing to die slowly and painfully ha ha) I don't get all alarmed, I just think of something else... It is odd to realize you are not thinking of your ex... (it's not odd not thinking of your ex, that is sort of natural... what it is odd is that you have to take it as something incredible or amazing, but I digress)... Other things are dreams. I don't dream of my ex. Maybe that stuff about dreams being a byproduct of your inner desires holds some truth? I say a 20% is fine, seeing how much I still think of my "former" ex...
dangerstranger Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Is it normal to be reminded of her every time I see a car of the same sort she drives around? It's funny how on some days when I'm missing her I'll subconsciously try and justify all the things she's done to hurt me, although I do stop and remind myself at times that it's just me trying to convince myself that things could of been different. Some experiential advice would really go a long way right now. Thanks in advance. Oh wow, the car thing drives me crazy, I can totally relate. I must see 5 or 6 cars a day during my commute- and since we drive the highway at the same time, I panic everytime I see a car that is the same colour and make and model as his. You will get to the point where you will go months without thinking of this person- it may not seem likely now, but it will happen. I got dumped about 6 years ago by someone, and I was convinced I'd never recover, and it took a while to get over him. I think about him once in a blue moon now- and I have no clue what I ever saw in this person. What you're going through is normal, and by the sounds of it, you're doing pretty well getting over this!
Surf Rider Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 It's been over a year since my ex left me. I have numerous other threads relating to this one. We have been NC for quite some time. She was on my mind most of the time for the first few months. It was very difficult considering we dated well over a year. Yes it is normal to be thinking of her that much. You will get over her. Time heals all things. Concentrate on YOU, not her. Good luck.
Author MrElusive Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 I seem to be getting to that place now where I'll stumble across a picture of her and won't think much of it. The car thing still gets me everytime though but time does definitely does heal all wounds. Thanks for all the replies though guys/gals, very much appreciated.
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