CompletelyLost87 Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 I'll try to be short and to the point.. I recently broke up with my ex, and have been in COMPLETE hell.. I come and visit these forums everyday to try to better understand what happened.. and I've realized my ex had GIGS. I am 24, she is 22. I've realized after reading so many threads, that I once suffered from GIGS also.. I'm not proud of it but it wasn't anything intentional I just lost feelings.. and there wasn't another girl involved. This time it's happened to me.. and after reading homebrews posts about someone always being involved.. I'm starting to question whether that was the case with her.. all that happened was a change of scenery and she totally changed and denies anyone else is involved.. I've effectively kept NC since then.. and been going through torture everyday.. What saddens me is she broke up via text and hasn't even tried to contact me a single time since then.. its been a few weeks and I'm starting to wonder how she can move on so quickly.. she's not the type at all to change from one relationship to another, she's quite prude in that sense so I'd be shocked if she found another relationship so quickly.. At what point should I contact her? I still want to be with her.. but I don't want to be her rebound or anything else.. how will I ever know if she wants to genuinely be with me and not for other reasons?
Royal Guy Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 I'll try to be short and to the point.. I recently broke up with my ex, and have been in COMPLETE hell.. I come and visit these forums everyday to try to better understand what happened.. and I've realized my ex had GIGS. I am 24, she is 22. I've realized after reading so many threads, that I once suffered from GIGS also.. I'm not proud of it but it wasn't anything intentional I just lost feelings.. and there wasn't another girl involved. This time it's happened to me.. and after reading homebrews posts about someone always being involved.. I'm starting to question whether that was the case with her.. all that happened was a change of scenery and she totally changed and denies anyone else is involved.. I've effectively kept NC since then.. and been going through torture everyday.. What saddens me is she broke up via text and hasn't even tried to contact me a single time since then.. its been a few weeks and I'm starting to wonder how she can move on so quickly.. she's not the type at all to change from one relationship to another, she's quite prude in that sense so I'd be shocked if she found another relationship so quickly.. At what point should I contact her? I still want to be with her.. but I don't want to be her rebound or anything else.. how will I ever know if she wants to genuinely be with me and not for other reasons? Even I am 24 and my gf 22 and same thing happened except for it involved a lil more abusive over the phone from her end, etc. The way you are describing it seems there was someone already, maybe he was a frnd of his and they both decided to take it to the next level. If there was noone I doubt she would break all contacts this easily as a person tends to get distracted this easily only when there is someone. It sounds exactly like my case with only difference that I knew there a guy . Why do you want to be with her? She doesn't want it, let her go. I know this sounds harsh but she did it and might not want you in her life as that would remind her of old time and shes a quick breaker. I know you have a few unanswered questions that are bothering you a lot at this moment..I am sorry if anything I said hurts you but don't break the NC as if she answers back " Yes there is someone " it will only hurt 10 times more and if the answer is " No there is no one " it will only raise 10 more questions and might hurt you more.
Author CompletelyLost87 Posted June 14, 2011 Author Posted June 14, 2011 Thanks for the reply guys. I know this may sound cliche.. but I really feel this one was 'the one'. I've had ex's in the past, and after breakups I've never felt the way that I do now. There really isn't a second that goes by that I don't think about her or the future we could've had. Granted, it wasn't a good breakup and she's made no attempt to contact me since.. and being NC for almost a month has helped but I really, really would like to finally contact her via text just to see how she's doing. Would it really be that counterproductive?
Author CompletelyLost87 Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 Thanks homebrew. BTW I must've read hundreds of your old posts so far.. it's helped me a ton thank you. It's also very depressing to hear that it may take 2-3 years for her to figure things out.. I was hoping 6 months or so.. she's not the type at all to go out and party or sleep with random guys so is it possible she may just come around sooner?
JustTawm Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 This thread and your other one homebrew as helped me a lot. It helped me realise that even if things had changed when warning signs appeared, the end result would be the same. Understand that she just needs to go out and be her own person. Going NC now until December when we will see each other (an activity we both do and cant be avoided).
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