crazylove Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 Hi all, So, i have a friend, we've been chatting online for a year and a half. Get on really well, rarely disagree(i think 3 times in all that time!). We're supposed to be going on holiday next week:P (we've not met before). Anyway, chatting to him this morning, and he starts taking longer and longer to reply. I start getting a little annoyed, (i have other things i could be getting on with) and ask if he's busy and he replies he's chatting to another friend (started up this convo after me chatting with him), so i sorta say, it's a bit annoying having to wait so long for a reply. We were chatting on messenger, and he starts taking longer and longer to reply. I'm like okkkk, that's starting to irritate me a bit, mainly cos I've got a busy day, loads to do and sort out, so i'm like hey dude, u busy or something, and he's like, i'm talking to his other friend, so i'm like okkkk, so u started a convo with me, and now ur taking agesssss to answer whilst i'm sat here like a lemon! lol. I dunno, i just felt a bit like . . unimportant i guess and like, ok so i'll just sit around and wait for u to answer then - don't mind me!!. So anyway, i guess i kinda said that to him lol, he got angry, and then didn't reply again, so i'm like 'u not talking to me now?', and he played the whole 'I'm thinking' card!! Like why the hell do guys do that??!! lol So anyway, i just said 'i'll be around if u wanna message or text me, but i'm going'. So i did! Do you think i'm being a bit sensitive??! I feel really upset now . . can u tell by all the writing?! But i guess i kind of felt it was a bit of a lack of respect for me, and i don't mean that in a big headed way, i'm sooo not, but come on, if you're talking with someone would u just go off and talk to someone else mid convo and just leave them hanging on?! What do you guys think? What should I do? I'd like some perspective on what to do. Should i contact him first? Or not. . . I'm thinking not, but he's supposed to be flying here this week. . . i'm now really anxious about how this could all unfold:( Please help!
fooled once Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 That's what happens when people are online. You have no idea if the friend needed help or support or asked a question that was important to him. I think instead of getting pissy and having a tantrum, I would have just said "hey, I gotta go. Talk to your friend and I will chat with you later". It really wasn't worth getting so upset by it. At work, if your talking to your boss and someone else comes up and interrupts, do you get all worked up because someone else needed to speak to him? If you were busy and had other things to do, why did you get online to chat? Remember, life doesn't always give us what we want and sometimes, it isn't all about us. Apologize to him and clear the air before seeing him next week.
Pianiste Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 I guess chatting online goes by different rules than chatting in real life. In real life I wouldn't just wander off all of a sudden and start watching a movie, but I do that all the time when chatting online. Sometimes I even forget I'm having a chat conversation! The only moment when I'm concentrated on the conversation is when it's not just "chatting to chat" but when there's an important topic. Maybe that's exactly what happened. Anyways, since he's coming over this week it's probably best to get this out of the air. Don't bother about who should contact, and apologize, the other first just get it over with before something this silly turns into something big.
Author crazylove Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 Thanks for both your replies. I took your advice and contacted him today and cleared the air:) I think with us meeting up being so close i've been feeling a bit over sensitive, and so yes, probably i overreacted a bit. In answer to Fooled once' question "If you were busy and had other things to do, why did you get online to chat?" I made the time because it was the weekend, and we tend to talk more on the weekend, so I was trying to catch him before i went off to do those things. However, you're right in saying that life doesn't always give us what we want, and I should think about that more:) Anyway, he also apologised and didn't realise how frustrating it could be waiting for replies when ur sat there waiting for em lol. I guess i'm just a bit emotional and excited about next week:)
Pianiste Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Good for you that you cleared the air! :-) Hope you have a jolly good time when he comes over!
Author crazylove Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 Thanks Pianiste:) Now hoping he does get here. . . flights from Melbourne have been cancelled due to ash from the Chile volcano
Restless_Journeyman Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Sometimes we just don't want to chat anymore or we have other people we want/need to discuss things with too. Try not to be too controlling. It wasn't ok when I used to do it and it isn't ok when you do it. Let the guy keep his other friends or you're going to lose him (as a friend or otherwise). Oh and sometimes we really ARE thinking. EDIT: Glad to see that is cleared up.
Author crazylove Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Thanks Restlessjourneyman, It wasn't that i'd ever try and stop him having other friends, i would never do that. I know that he has lots of friends that he speaks to, and that's fine, it was more that i felt it was rude not anwering . . but. . I should take more control over that part, and not just hang around waiting, like fooled once said, i should just leave the conversation and kick on with whatever it is i'm doing:)
Recommended Posts