gladiator Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 Hello Here is my circumstance w had pa for approx 6 months (last year) we have kids we have been living apart for 6 months now,the a was bust open and suddenly ended! no contact with om,she started communicating recently and we spoke about a reconciliation (something I never thought I would consider at the start!) only dealing with kids,finances up to now.Well, we did actually speak about a recon a while back,but I knew she wasnt commited to it,so never happened In the last few days we have spent time together and by her actions and generally communicating it feels as if she is commited now.(v.early days,yes) I know this next part will come across as pathetic,but I know the om manipulated her at a time when she was in a hectic situation personally,medical,work all sorts going on. I know their is no excuse its 50/50 etc. She has only had 1 partner before me(know what youre thinking here!) and we have been together 12 years and married most of that time. I love the w,I cant get away from that fact,beleive it can work out
imagine Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 If OM is at her work - she must quit. Hold the bar high.
robf1971 Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 Hello w had pa for approx 6 months (last year) we have kids I love the w,I cant get away from that fact,beleive it can work out Make her chase you big time, don't make this too easy for her or she will f' around on you again.
Author gladiator Posted June 11, 2011 Author Posted June 11, 2011 Cheers rob,glad I had a quick look on Ls,spent a nice few hours together tonight. Was tempted to text her g.night,think I'll leave it! Oh my willpower is immense now. Lol no i hate lol giggle will do.
YellowShark Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 I would say tread VERY carefully with this. Hiding a PA from you for 6 months takes a lot of willful choices on her behalf. So I would be quite wary going back into the relationship. She must prove herself to you that she can be trusted again. And don't buy the OM "made her do it" crap. That's such a cop out. She knew she was married, and she knew you would not say yes to a PA. Six months is a long time to hide her affair from you. Be careful Gladiator.
mark982 Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 her affare broke dowm, and you're the fall back plan. procede very carefully.
fltc Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 mark982 is right, listen to the advice you're getting.
Author gladiator Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 thanks fltc, I really do appreciate the advice from everyone I always said the one thing that would end us would be infidelity,but here I am! I truly believe our relationship needed a kick up the ass,but I didnt mean in the way it happened. She could never open up and express her emotions,but we never went more than 2 weeks max without sex during 12 yrs,so that was puzzling to me.He is also butt ugly! really not just saying that, just a fact. I have learned so much about myself,and I have thought so many times how could I take her back or even attempt to reconcile.I always end up in the same position though, I still love her. I am playing it extremely cool and treading carefully. I see a massive change in her,she knows the score its either a commitment to reconciling or divorce.Their can be no middle ground.
Author gladiator Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Make her chase you big time, don't make this too easy for her or she will f' around on you again. Too right rob,that is exactly what I am doing
findingmeagain Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 I just wanted to say goodluck, I really hope it works for you guys. Sometimes we can make a really bad decision and yes we can regret it and change...I hope this is true in your wifes case!!
Author gladiator Posted June 13, 2011 Author Posted June 13, 2011 Thanks for the kind words findingmeagain I feel we have both used the time apart wisely,and now is the right time to move forward
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