vsmini Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 (edited) This is not a trap and I'm sure it's going to be troll-bait/****-stirrers for sure but does a man *treat a woman better if she is attractive? Scale being: cute/attractive to meagan fox hot. This is going to come off as a really shallow post. My apologies. I'm asking if she will be treated better and by that I mean with more respect, honesty, thoughtfulness. I don't mean shower her with attention and blow hot air....because obviously people will do that for an attractive opposite sex. Do you or do you think many men inherently treat a woman with more value and inner worth if she is attractive? I know, I know. - movie at 11: - attractive women get better perks. I'm only wondering because I think I have had very good luck with quality/good men that treated me well both in and out of relationships (with or without sex) and I'm wondering, if that has much to do with my looks. Yea - I know that sounds really obnoxious. This isn't some advertisement for me being hot or something ridiculous. I just wonder because some LS women are saying that truly good guys are really hard to find (I don't doubt what they're saying) and either I'm just in the right spot or lucky because I have met and known a lot of nice guys. Actually know them pretty well - for extensive periods of time. Not just one or two dates. The guys I've dated and that have treated me well were at all different levels of attractiveness (for whatever that is worth). Some I'm sure were judged to be good looking guys and some were...well I thought they were attractive but some guys I dated my girlfriends thought they were kind of....not. To make it easier to understand....I just feel that nice guys are out there and actually kind of common. So do I just have superb luck and can spot these guys easily or is it because being somewhat nice looking is going to make a guy treat me well enough to make me think he's truly nice? I wanna say I just have good luck because these nice guys were nice to other people across the board. They weren't just sweethearts to me and treated other people poorly. No - I'm not going to start giving nice guys the old side-eye and assuming their motivations. Just curious. And in NO WAY am I stating that the women frustrated with lack of good men are NOT attractive. I know it sounds that way but I'm not saying that - so don't even go there. This has more to do with how men view their own gender and how they think of women and treat them based on certain factors. Edited June 11, 2011 by vsmini
daphne Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 I think initially, a man will treat an attractive woman with much respect and thoughtfulness. Not necessarily honesty though. This depends on if the guy is honest to begin with, however. Ultimately, a guy can't hide his true colors forever. If he's not a good guy deep down, it's going to come out. I think you have either just been incredibly lucky to meet a high number of them, or maybe you didn't know them that well. I've known guys who pulled the nice guy routine only to be disrespectful years later, for not getting what they wanted.
Author vsmini Posted June 11, 2011 Author Posted June 11, 2011 I think initially, a man will treat an attractive woman with much respect and thoughtfulness. Not necessarily honesty though. This depends on if the guy is honest to begin with, however. Ultimately, a guy can't hide his true colors forever. If he's not a good guy deep down, it's going to come out. I think you have either just been incredibly lucky to meet a high number of them, or maybe you didn't know them that well. I've known guys who pulled the nice guy routine only to be disrespectful years later, for not getting what they wanted. Yea - - you make good points. And....if a guy is only treating you respectfully because of your looks then there really isn't much honest about that. I was just wondering if men thought some trigger goes off when they see an attractive girl so they shape up...more or less. you know what...the more I think about this post the more I want to take it down. It just sounds really stupid. Lol
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 No. How a man treats a woman has more to do with his core character than anything else. Perhaps INITIALLY he will put in more of an effort to pretend that he is nicer than he really is but that won't last. There are plenty gorgeous women that are treated like c%ap.
welikeincrowds Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 (edited) Consider the definition of attractiveness, OP. It's almost tautological. Movie at 11 is right and witty of you -- but what more would you have me say, you know? Finally, yes, we cherish and give favor to attractive people, because that is what it means to be attractive. Even people who act with overbearing negativity toward the attractive still have the same root feeling and desire as anyone -- they just react to that desire with fear/anger, for whatever reason they have, and the end is what you get. It's fitting that you ponder about your "luck" with finding good men. I think the decent synonym for "attractiveness" is "luck". Really, not much is inherently valuable to more symmetrical facial features or whatever. Supposedly attractiveness has something to do with objectively superior genetics -- like you are stronger or run faster or give birth easier or something like that -- but in my opinion, the meaningful quality is the social advantage, where people and actions generally move in one's favor -- in other words, better luck in a society. (Of course, the true good luck was in being born with attractive genes in the first place -- birth being one of the few events in one's life where the outcome is wholly up to chance.) I see that the point of your thread is to ponder if there must be some reason why you've had no trouble finding decent guys in your life when other women do have that problem. I guess you are wondering if it's because you're attractive. I don't think that's a question you could possibly answer. All I can seem to think is that as an attractive person, you will have more opportunities, but it is the opportunities you choose to investigate that will ultimately become the course of your life. In other words, people don't like to put hurdles in front of show horses, but you can't make a show horse drink. That's a saying, right? Edited June 11, 2011 by welikeincrowds I don't think I fully understood your post, but I'm too tired to change what I wrote and too conceited to delete it now.
Author vsmini Posted June 11, 2011 Author Posted June 11, 2011 All I can seem to think is that as an attractive person, you will have more opportunities, but it is the opportunities you choose to investigate that will ultimately become the course of your life. In other words, people don't like to put hurdles in front of show horses, but you can't make a show horse drink. That's a saying, right? That was articulated nicely InCrowds. Thank you.
Sanman Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 As a guy, I may go the extra mile effort-wise for a true catch. However, I try to treat everyone with honesty, respect and thoughtfulness. Considering your track record, have to considered the possibility that you are less swayed by looks (given that friends are not attracted) than other women and can see a good man for what he is?
carhill Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 Do you or do you think many men inherently treat a woman with more value and inner worth if she is attractive? I can speak to 'many' but, no doubt, a universally attractive woman will affect me upon initially meeting her. It's kinda the same thing why guys find different porn to look at when the first pic/vid was pretty awesome. They enjoy 'new'. After that first 'bang' of wow, historically, every woman gets treated pretty much the same, by myself. I can recall doing a road trip with a woman last year (friend of my best friend's wife) who most men would find completely unattractive but I still treated her with the same gentlemanly behavior I treat all women. I she had been Megan Fox hot would I have treated her better? IDK, I've had some lady friends who approached that and I pretty much treat them all the same. If their personality and aura cause them to rise from the page, and they're not attached/married, then they might stir my loins into giving them 'special' treatment. Otherwise, just human.
daphne Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 In other words, people don't like to put hurdles in front of show horses, but you can't make a show horse drink. That's a saying, right? No, you just made that up!
daphne Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 I was just wondering if men thought some trigger goes off when they see an attractive girl so they shape up...more or less. I can't speak from a man's point of view, but I know that what I start out with and what I end up with from a guy can be vastly different and a little disturbing. It used to be very difficult for me to trust men as a result, since most guys are very sweet to me in the beginning. I am actually fairly spoiled as a result. Unfortunately though, fewer are actually considerate or sweet at all in the long run. I'm learning to ignore & rule out guys that make over the top statements including a future, offer gifts and trips, and what I consider pushing behavior to make you think your'e in a relationship when you're not. It's just not credible stuff.
Author vsmini Posted June 11, 2011 Author Posted June 11, 2011 As a guy, I may go the extra mile effort-wise for a true catch. However, I try to treat everyone with honesty, respect and thoughtfulness. Considering your track record, have to considered the possibility that you are less swayed by looks (given that friends are not attracted) than other women and can see a good man for what he is? Yea - that's why I brought that up. I think that might have a lot more to do with it overall. I'd certainly like to think I harbor that skill.
musemaj11 Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 This question is so stupid because it only requires basic common sense. Its like asking "do people eat more when they are hungry?" Its natural for people to treasure more something or someone they find of value. And this is true for both men and women.
Author vsmini Posted June 11, 2011 Author Posted June 11, 2011 This question is so stupid because it only requires basic common sense. Its like asking "do people eat more when they are hungry?" Its natural for people to treasure more something or someone they find of value. And this is true for both men and women. Either your last paragraph has a typo of some sort or you didn't read the post and those following. But really good input though - thanks
carhill Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 My post did have a typo .... it should have been 'I can't speak to many' To boil it down: Do I fawn over beautiful women? No. Do they 'affect' me? Yes, at least upon first encounter.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 Variation is much greater between men than within a man. For example: James holds Jane's hand and kisses her often through the date while in public. Mike on the other hand doesn't. Both have asked Jane for another date. Does this mean that James finds Jane more attractive than Mike does? Not necessarily. It just means that James likes PDA and Mike doesn't.
musemaj11 Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 SNo. How a man treats a woman has more to do with his core character than anything else. Perhaps INITIALLY he will put in more of an effort to pretend that he is nicer than he really is but that won't last. There are plenty gorgeous women that are treated like c%ap. I have to say I like this comment. My mother once told me one of the ways to see a persons true personality is by paying attention to how that person treats other people in general especially complete strangers.
DreamerGirl27 Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 well, I'm hot as **** and I can't get a boyfriend that I'm attracted to. So, this is a question I've always been wondering.
Leigh 87 Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 It is all about options; there are pleny of attractive women, that have great personalities. It is natural for men to want a great chick who happens to be attractive, rather than I chick who is not attractive but who also has a great personality. Guys do not necessarily treat unnatractive women bad, however, they may not consider them right away as a sexual option; they do with trehe best they can get in terms of personality AND appearance..... Men do seek out women who's apperance is pleasant for them to look at, initially. There are meny instances where a guy is working with a girl who is average, and falls for her based on their interactions together. As much as I hate to say this, yes, to some extent, in the EARLY stages of a relationship, SOME men who are with a very beautiful girl may very well treat them better than they would an average girl. Men can feel lucky and overwhelmed at have a very pretty girl, and will of course tell them how beautigul they are. The fact is, a more beautiful girl will initially be told she is gorgeous and beautiful more often than an average girl. That being said, once a man falls in LOVE or really starts to LIKE and CARE about an average looking girl, they will of course view them as beautiful. It is only INITIALLY, in the EARLY stages of courtship, that men probably tend to give more "beautiful" and " gorgeous" remarks in the way of the beautiful women. I have a boyfriend. I wonder if I was beautiful looking, if he would tell me all the time... The fact is, am only moderately attractive, nothing special, and so I do often wonder if he would make remarks about " your beautiful babe" if I acytually WAS physically beautiful, rather than being average.
Kamille Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 I'm definitely average but, like you, I have met, dated and had relationships with plenty of great guys. The way I see it, the main difference between me and the women who struggle more is that I know they're out there. I also know some will fall for me. I therefore don't feel desperate, don't feel insulted when a guy shows poor behavior and can decide to simply walk away, without creating drama. Basically, I don't waste my time on jerks. It leaves more room for the great guys and leaves me feeling serene and happy (which ups their appreciation of me). So my take is different. It isn't looks that make men treat you well. It's your attitude.
Kamille Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 As much as I hate to say this, yes, to some extent, in the EARLY stages of a relationship, SOME men who are with a very beautiful girl may very well treat them better than they would an average girl. Men can feel lucky and overwhelmed at have a very pretty girl, and will of course tell them how beautigul they are. The fact is, a more beautiful girl will initially be told she is gorgeous and beautiful more often than an average girl. Ah Leigh! How your self-esteem plays trick on you. I suspect you're someone who puts up with poor behavior because of your insecurities. First, you are not average. You are good looking (I have seen your Facebook). Second, men treating women right is about a lot more than them telling a woman she is beautiful. Is that really all you think treating a woman right is all about? It's about caring for her, not being needlessly over-critical of her (such as your bf has been doing with your most recent issues), accepting her and appreciating her for who she is. It's about wanting to be with her, generally most men also get a bit of the dashing knight in shining armor thing going and believe caring for a woman means protecting her and making her feel safe. As I said in my previous post: meeting great men is about knowing they're out there and not putting up with poor behavior. There are guys out there who will value a woman less if she doesn't believe in her own self-worth. I believe your bf is one of those types of guys. You're letting him get away with treating you poorly.
OpenBook Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 I'm definitely average but, like you, I have met, dated and had relationships with plenty of great guys. The way I see it, the main difference between me and the women who struggle more is that I know they're out there. I also know some will fall for me. I therefore don't feel desperate, don't feel insulted when a guy shows poor behavior and can decide to simply walk away, without creating drama. Basically, I don't waste my time on jerks. It leaves more room for the great guys and leaves me feeling serene and happy (which ups their appreciation of me). So my take is different. It isn't looks that make men treat you well. It's your attitude. Thanks so much for posting this Kamille. I really really REALLY needed to read this right now.
nyc_guy2003 Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 I would say 100% yes it's the case that hot chicks get better treatment than average or unattractive chicks, especially here in New York City. It's no coincidence that most of the sales people in my industry happen to be 20-something year old good looking girls instead of 50-something year old men and women.
Kamille Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 Thanks so much for posting this Kamille. I really really REALLY needed to read this right now. Thanks OpenBook. I hope whatever is going on in your life will get resolved. I really firmly believe in what I wrote. And the good thing is, once you start applying this theory, it gets easier to apply it, because it seriously makes dating so much easier. Once, I started believing I was worthy of a man's time - even though I was average looking-, realized there were great guys out there who would treat me with respect (so why would I put up with poor behavior) and started walking away when a man made me feel bad about myself, good guys were suddenly really into me.
musemaj11 Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 I would say 100% yes it's the case that hot chicks get better treatment than average or unattractive chicks, especially here in New York City. It's no coincidence that most of the sales people in my industry happen to be 20-something year old good looking girls instead of 50-something year old men and women. According to a research, attractive people do get better treatment at least upon first imppression. But I think the op is talking more about in a relationship.
TheLawmaker Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 I'd say it means they're more likely to approach them. However, if the guy is ugly, the more attractive the woman is, the more likely she is to reject him.
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