duhduhduhdan Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Urgghh... Basically, i just can't be ****ed with life anymore... I have good friends yeah, but a lot of them are always complaining "oh i hate my body, oh i'm so ugly" and blah blah blah.. when they are clearly not... they all get attention from the opposite sex, they're all flirting at parties and stuff... then's there is just me on the side, like a 3rd wheel tht no one reli wants there. I don't get any attention from girls, I haven't had my first kiss... my friends always tell me i'm never a man till i've had sex... i always get put down by it. A few months ago I had a tiny bit of confidence to flirt with someone, it all ended badly and she got with my mate... this has happened A LOT... i'm now at the point where i have no cofidence in myself what so ever, i have no self esteem, no motivation in life. I spoke to my best mate about it and he said if i just pluck up the courage to ask someone out, everything else will follow and will become easier and i'll eventually get somewhere.... so i tried that, but i cud never get the courage to do it.... where does it come from?? Because right now, it seems my courage is billions of miles away....
Restless_Journeyman Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 It's entirely possible you aren't really ready for dating yet. Certainly I wasn't when I was in high school or even when I was in college. Part of my personality is that I want to be able to provide for someone if I care for them, that means materially and not just emotionally. Maybe you're that way yourself and worry that you don't have a ton to offer. 1. I was a virgin until two years ago, since then I'd describe my love life as extremely interesting. Give it time, there are probably people who are into you that you aren't even aware of right now. 2. Consider if your "friends" are really your friends. The guy presumably knew you were into her, why do you still hang out with him if hes hooking up with women you're into? 3. While I know it's not as easy as saying "grow a pair" learn to love yourself. That doesn't mean you have to become a narcisstic or an *******, but other people are a lot more likely to like you if you do too. Self-confidence is sexy and the lack of it can be very unattractive. 4. Don't be "nice" be a good, interesting person. The single biggest mistake many guys, especially young guys (myself previously included) make is to think that just being nice is enough. You have to have something to offer other than nice and nice doesn't mean putting her on a pedestal either. Puppy dog adulation just isn't attractive.
Dorie Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 Where does the courage come from? Inside you. If you wait for external motivation, it may be awhile yet. And in the meantime, that little flame of courage within you just gets smaller and smaller; more difficult to reignite into the larger flame you need. Rejection is one of the most difficult experiences. Yet it will happen throughout life. It would be smart to hone the skills that allow you to cope with it. One of those skills is understanding your self worth. One must stand firm in it to weather rejection. What do you take pride in? What about you do you value?
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