averytaylor Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 My ex broke up with me 5 days ago. During our entire relationship everything was perfect, never argued, never fought, we always had fun together. I adored this guy.. so much so that I lost my precious v-card to him, which has left me severely emotionally attached. Then, on the day he dumped me, I was PMSing and having viscious mood swings. We were texting, and he was being nice and talking about college. He said he might be leaving to go to a college in a different state at the end of the sem. So I said (on text), "well that puts a deadline on our relationship." We got into this whole conversation about how it was hard to him to keep up with our relationship because he was always working and such. Then he said, "Nicole I really do love you and if we ever do break up we will still be best friends and we'll still hang out all the time." I asked if we could talk about this in person and he said yeah, go over to his house at 5:30. Couple hours later he texts me and asks what time I'm coming. And me, being all moody and pissy, reply, "you said 5:30..." and he said, "yeah that's cool" I read that the complete wrong way. In my hormonal little brain, that was the sassiest thing ever. So I said, "I'll just go to Emily's house if your gonna be a bitch tonight." So he said, "Since I'm such a little bitch then you don't have to worry anymore. I had fun while it lasted. Have a wonderful life. Goodbye." I called him immediately. No answer. I texted him, apologizing, calling again 6 times like a little psycho. Nothing. I started bawling my eyes out. It felt like my heart dropped to the floor. He texted me a little while later telling me he'd "call after he ate".. I never got a call. Later that night he asked, "What are you doing?" In reality, me and my friends were taking shots of the Jack Daniels that I got him for his birthday. But instead of telling him that, I told him to call me when he was ready to talk. Still no call but I only texted him once the night after the break up to ask if this is what he really wanted and I apologized again. No response. I was drunk, so when he didn't reply I texted him again and compared him to my best friends ex-boyfriend whom we all despise, because I knew that would hurt his feelings. Next morning he made it FBO. 4 days after this, I didn't contact him or anything. But I ran into his friend Conner who is living with him temporarily. I asked him if my ex has said anything about the break up and he said no, he hasn't. I made the mistake of asking him to make my ex drunk enough call me that night. Instead, Conner calls my ex in front of me and tells him that I'm not sure if we're really over or not. My ex replies: "I haven't talked to her in 4 days. It's over and done with." I gave Conner the rest of the Jack Daniels, who brought it to my ex's house and told him he got it from me. I don't know how that went.. probably bad. My ex has also started smoking weed again he quit while we were dating because he knew I didn't like it and I wouldn't date him if he did. So I think he's doing it out of spite, like giving me the middle finger just to piss me off. Did he break up with me over text because he was looking for a way out of our relationship? Is there a chance he will call me eventually? Or is it really over? Why am I being ignored so harshly?
RuinedLife Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I'm so sorry that you are going through this I can really relate as it was a text based argument that lead to my break up too Has been over 4 months now, but I'm still really struggling to cope and it feels in many ways like it happened yesterday. As its only been a few days since this fall out, and you've already apologized best you can and tried to talk to him about it, its probably best to just leave him alone for awhile to calm down and if he loves you and values the relationship he'll realise how silly it is to split up over such a little argument and will come back to you, or at least come to see you to try and save your friendship. But if he really does see it as all "over and done with" and was using the text argument as an excuse to leave the relationship then the same no contact advice applies, but you may have to accept that he won't be back. Which is an incredibly painful possibility I know. I still live in denial hoping my ex will change his mind about our break up and come back to me. But really I can't control what he does now so its up to him. And the same seems to apply in your situation. You've apologized and tried to talk to him, so you've done all you can. Now its up to him. Either he'll calm down and come back to you to make amends in some way, or he won't. If not sounds like you are better off without him anyway. The heartbreak and rejection hurts so much though I know. But keep posting on Love Shack. We're all going through the same or similar heartbreak experiences and we're all here to help support each other. So you're not alone.
Author averytaylor Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 Thank you, that makes me feel a lot better, but it would just help if there was some guarantee that I could get a phone call out of him eventually. All I need is for him to tell me to my face why he broke up with me, because right now it's all so unclear. But if he's under the influence, his emotions are probably bogged down and I'd imagine I haven't even crossed his mind yet. I don't know, only time will tell, which seems to be the best advice to give anyone in similar situations..
RuinedLife Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 No worries. Glad I could help in some small way. I know going NC is hard, but seems like the best thing you can do now, just let time decide. In the mean time try to distract yourself, spend time with friends and family, and keep posting here for support. Break ups can be incredibly difficult to cope with (believe me I know, anyone who knows me on here will tell you that I've become despair-personified since my break up) but we can get through this together. So try to stay strong and keep moving forward (obsessing over the past constantly doesn't work, believe me I've tried, and fool that I am I'll keep obsessing probably, but it doesn't work). It just holds you back, prevents you from enjoying life, zaps all your motivation to move forward and eats away at your self esteem.
Author averytaylor Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 And I've found a little cure to help - dates I've already gone on one to help distract me from the break up, and even though I'm not interested in the guy I went with, he was really doing it to be a good friend and hoping to possibly have a future once I was over my ex. I have two more lined up within the next week, and even though I can't look at any other guy the same way again, it helps... I'm just hoping word gets back to him, and a little jealousy will encourage him to clean up his act haha.
RuinedLife Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 And I've found a little cure to help - dates I've already gone on one to help distract me from the break up, and even though I'm not interested in the guy I went with, he was really doing it to be a good friend and hoping to possibly have a future once I was over my ex. I have two more lined up within the next week, and even though I can't look at any other guy the same way again, it helps... I'm just hoping word gets back to him, and a little jealousy will encourage him to clean up his act haha. Wow! I really admire your self confidence and resilience. I think its amazing that you can bounce back and even start dating again so soon. I wish I had a fraction of your confidence and resilience, as its been 4 months for me and I'm still dwelling and stuck in the past. I wish you all the best with your dating And who knows maybe your ex will find out, get jealous, realize what a great catch you are and come back for another chance. Either way I hope you find that great guy you deserve who will make you feel special.
Recommended Posts