wilsonx Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 So I decided to organize everything here to tell you how I am coming along. My ex has GIGS and cheated on me emotionally with some coworker at her current work place. Now its to the point where they are or probably already physical together. It kind of stings but her and I were friends before and I saw the other guys she has been with so it doesnt really hurt me that much in all honesty. I am not going to dwell on it Look I feel everyone's pain that has been going through this and is going through this and it sucks. She wants me to be friends with her again so she can do her thing realize its wrong and come back to me again and I do not know if I can do it again. Time will tell. When I was with her, we were amazing friends, she helped me become an even more amazing person and I told her that Tues when we met. I told her I became the Sir Wilson she grew to like because of her friendship and honesty with me. She smiled and did something that I never would have guessed. She expressed regret and said Im sorry, I wish I was honest with you, I would have been great too. But right now I HAVE TO MOVE FORWARD. My ex is seeing someone else. Shes staying in the same place. Me moving forward allows me to heal, improve myself, and start being happy again. I am 3 Days NC with her, My ****ing head hurts non stop. This is the longest time we have not talk/seen each other in the 3 years we have known each other. But I will tell you all something, everyday I move forward, my head hurts less and less through out the day. I still am an emotional rollercoaster but Im moving forward. I joined a kickball league (AWESOME... i get to meet 30 new people a day), I get a new roommate whose going through the same thing right now so we can grow and be better people together. I am getting a new job to keep myself busy. I swim 2400 meters a day and run 1 1/3 mile every other day. I am starting to feel better about myself. Do I miss her? The answer is yes. Everyday but I can not dwell on the past or I will never heal I AM ON MY WAY on growing from Sir Wilson -> KING WILSON
Author wilsonx Posted June 11, 2011 Author Posted June 11, 2011 Holy ****, One of the things my ex told me for the past couple weeks is that I was difficult to get along with and that I always had to win arguments at the expense of being right. So I bought a book on amazon and started reading it today Why dont we listen better: Communicating and Connecting in Relationships. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0979155908/ref=ox_ya_os_product and I hate to say it but shes right. I was the guy that always had to be right when ever we got into an argument, no matter what the expense was =(
jacksonBrown Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 i feel your pain my friend i'm in the same situation with my ex we were together for 3 years i saw her and talked to her everyday for 3 years untill 6 weeks ago we broke up due to loosing the spark we both agreed it felt like we weren't going anywhere, I was ok the first week then as the weeks progressed i became lonely and missed her so much i started thinking about all the bad things i had done in the relationship no.1 taking her for granted and not treating her like the beautifull girlfriend she was to me. I went no contact for a couple weeks then she txt'd me asking to borrow my car for her licence test i said yes, another week went past with no contact but i was ok cos i know i would be seeing her next week. well she came around yesterday to borrow the car she looked amazing and i knew i was still in love with her i wore my best new shirt i had also lost 10 kilos since the split. she didn't stay long we had a quick chat about work and stuff and that was it. then i foolishly txt'd her telling her she looked good and that i miss her, her reply 'yeh we cant be together' i was crushed deppressed and lonely i then sent her a message asking her how can she just forget about me so easily her reply 'I just can sorry' by then i was in an absolute mess crying and so on, i started sending desperate msg's saying how depressed i was and how i had nothing and no one and how i just wanted to end it Her reply 'dont tell me that' I think today i have finally realised she is gone forever there is no false hope in my mind anymore i have closure. i just wish i didn't send her all those desperate msg's but i couldn't help it, Day 1 of true NC starts today i still think about her every other minute but i know there is no hope for us and i hope i can heal quick weekends are hard becos i always think about her out somewhere having fun and me stuck at home.
MT152 Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 Hey man. I'm going through the same stuff but it's been almost two months now. Trust me the first month or so you will only remember the good stuff.. You will feel guilty for what you did wrong, etc but realize man she technically cheated on you.. My ex cheated on me and I didn't want to believe it until like a month later.. I kept trying to say it was okay, she was just talking to him or whatever but in the end she cheated. It wasn't until a month and a half later that I was able to not feel guilty and start remembering the bad things about us and her.. Just hang in there man. You're going to go from wanting her to all sorts of emotions but just keep NC to be honest so you have time to think.. After a while you can break NC if you feel it is right
Author wilsonx Posted June 11, 2011 Author Posted June 11, 2011 Yea Thats why I am sticking to NC because I cant make a decision. When we hung out Tuesday I was unsure, I couldn't do anything. I was a mess. She saw that. I just need time to myself to make a good decision. I told a friend yesterday that I was ready but I am not. I do not know if I will ever be ready right now
nyc_guy2003 Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 she didn't stay long we had a quick chat about work and stuff and that was it. then i foolishly txt'd her telling her she looked good and that i miss her, her reply 'yeh we cant be together' i was crushed deppressed and lonely i then sent her a message asking her how can she just forget about me so easily her reply 'I just can sorry' by then i was in an absolute mess crying and so on, i started sending desperate msg's saying how depressed i was and how i had nothing and no one and how i just wanted to end it Her reply 'dont tell me that' Ha, this sucks but I do have to give her credit for her succinctness and honesty.
Duckduckgoose Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 Holy ****, One of the things my ex told me for the past couple weeks is that I was difficult to get along with and that I always had to win arguments at the expense of being right. So I bought a book on amazon and started reading it today Why dont we listen better: Communicating and Connecting in Relationships. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0979155908/ref=ox_ya_os_product and I hate to say it but shes right. I was the guy that always had to be right when ever we got into an argument, no matter what the expense was =( I was like that in my marriage, Wilson. I learned in counselling that it's not about being right or winning arguements. Its about compromise. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes its a draw, and there are SOME things you just don't bring up...cause you know they will start an arguement. Agree to disagree is a term that hit me over the head like a ton of bricks.
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