yes Posted April 16, 2004 Posted April 16, 2004 how do you feel abt a gal who easily cries over books, movies, songs, upon seeing smth sad or moving... is it OK for a gal to be sappy? i am very easily moved by certain things - it just makes me sad but in a bittersweet way. normally, i suck it up and don't show it, but sometimes it's hard, and now i'm wondering if it's the right thing to do at all - perhaps i should just show it. i think i should give examples of things that 'move' me. hm - an old lady sadly looking at a picture of herself when she was young; a man saying goodbye to his family before going off to war; a kitten playing in the sun... etc. what dya think? -yes
Darkangelism Posted April 16, 2004 Posted April 16, 2004 Fine with me. Gives a reson to get close for comfort.
Author yes Posted April 16, 2004 Author Posted April 16, 2004 i didn't mean fine in that way. there're many other ways to initiate physical contact. what i meant is ... will you think it's silly of her to show it? will you feel like you're babysitting? consider her an emotional crazy-a$$? be able to take her and her opinions seriously? etc. -yes
confused88 Posted April 16, 2004 Posted April 16, 2004 Within reason... Is great to be emotional - but please don't get sappy over EVERYTHING. We are wired to try to protect you and make you happy, not to be a shoulder to cry on all of the time.
dyermaker Posted April 16, 2004 Posted April 16, 2004 I wouldn't mind if she got emotional over old ladies looking at their younger selves, or even men going off to war--but the kittens in the sun thing crosses a line. Sappy is fine, but I'm not emotionally capable of handling a cat-lover
Author yes Posted April 16, 2004 Author Posted April 16, 2004 confused: not everything... and it does pass very fast, especially if someone makes an effort to divert me dyer: ok, make it a puppy then. thanks for your reply, -yes
confused88 Posted April 16, 2004 Posted April 16, 2004 Well - I definetly know how to "divert you", and in that sense being emotional is good. I had trouble with a GF once who cried at every movie we went to see. Cute at first, but as you say - it wore off fast!
Author yes Posted April 17, 2004 Author Posted April 17, 2004 did you take her only to sad movies? did she cry like a river, or a dozen of tears and done? (i'm the latter type, unless the movie is truly sad and then i'll run off to the bathroom!) to clarify the general picture - i used to think it's necessary to just "OK" in front of people, so i always hid my emotions (all of them! i was keeping myself mildly positive with minor variations - of course some ppl could tell my moods but that was despite my trying to hide it). i am trying to stop doing that and be real w/ people - but i'm afraid of being overly emotional... -yes
confused88 Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 Yes - I didn't take her to Rambo, Saving Private Ryan, nor the Gladiator - all of which are testosterone classics, but she would have cried then too. It wasn't sniffles, it was a steady stream, and her mascara ran down her cheeks. She walked out of most emotionally drained. It was impossible to move beyond the movie. Of course movies are not the only example - just the topic at hand. I can handle emotional, just not when it is a constant state of affairs!
Fedup&givingup Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker I wouldn't mind if she got emotional over old ladies looking at their younger selves, or even men going off to war--but the kittens in the sun thing crosses a line. Sappy is fine, but I'm not emotionally capable of handling a cat-lover I actually agree with this, and I AM a cat lover. I personally wouldn't get all choked up over a kitten laying or playing in the sun.
Author yes Posted April 17, 2004 Author Posted April 17, 2004 sounds like too much, hah. i get your point, thanks. btw- "wired to protect you and make you happy" - i liked that, that's the best attitude for a man -yes
Author yes Posted April 17, 2004 Author Posted April 17, 2004 no choking up or crying a river. what i mean is a few tears, five mins of sadness, and then i'm ready to move on. -yes
confused88 Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 Remember - at heart, most of us men are problem solvers and protectors (dragon slaying knights for our damsels in distress), and less capable on the "just listen to me" side of relationships
dyermaker Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 Originally posted by Fedup&givingup I personally wouldn't get all choked up over a kitten laying or playing in the sun. But Fedup, I mean, cmon, look at it, it's PLAYING.
Fedup&givingup Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 Originally posted by dyermaker But Fedup, I mean, cmon, look at it, it's PLAYING. Oh, right! What was I thinking! <sniff, sniff> Seriously, if I saw a cute little kitten playing, I would smile and enjoy it. I wouldn't get sad, not even "happy sad"
Author yes Posted April 17, 2004 Author Posted April 17, 2004 well, it depends on my mood when i'd see it - i can see myself just smiling, or else thinking abt how fragile and tiny it is... OK - playing isn't the best example. once, i saw a cat on the road - dead, run-over - i was teary for a while, thinking abt the family to whom it will never return, imagining them looking for the cat all over, maybe even finding it on the road ... -yes
Fedup&givingup Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 Originally posted by yes well, it depends on my mood when i'd see it - i can see myself just smiling, or else thinking abt how fragile and tiny it is... OK - playing isn't the best example. once, i saw a cat on the road - dead, run-over - i was teary for a while, thinking abt the family to whom it will never return, imagining them looking for the cat all over, maybe even finding it on the road ... -yes Well, yeah...if I saw a dead cat on the road, I wouldn't be smiling, but that's quite the opposite of seeing one that's playing whimsically LOL. It's ok, Yes, I know where you are coming from
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