aconite Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 (edited) I've not seen the object of my unrequited love for over a year, and barely communicated with him in that time (a couple of MSNs, a couple of emails). And yet my feelings seem as strong as ever. I've given up on Facebook so I don't get unwelcome reminders of him and his current relationship. I am in a relationship myself (albeit one going badly), the third since I started having feelings for him. What more can I do? He is currently in a relationship with someone who annoys me beyond measure, who I cannot respect and who manifests many of the qualities that I thought were the reasons he was not attracted to me. I think that they will in time get married and have children. He is the only person I have ever been able to imagine a future with, and the person with whom I clearly have no possible future at all. He knows how I feel (I told him in the most mortifying, embarrassing, slightly drunken way after the first few months) although maybe not the full extent and power of it. He has tried to be there for me, and has been a very supportive friend, but I think this may have made things more complicated in the end. I suffer from severe depression and unrequited love interacts very badly with this. I can't actually imagine much of a future for myself in the world at all, so my feelings of a future this person have a disproportionate power. It's been four years. My previous longest experience of unrequited love (in childhood) lasted about five years. I am getting too old for this. Help me please... Edited June 10, 2011 by aconite
RuinedLife Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I don't know if I can help you much I'm affraid. But I can completely relate. As I too suffer from unrequited love of the most insidious type. And I have no fully established an unrequited love for my current ex bf. I think about him all day every day and I dream about him every night. I've just put him on such a high pedestal in my mind and I feel I will never be able to knock him off. And my self worth has taken a huge hit because of this crumbled relationship as I invested so much into it in so many ways. Also I have an extreme sense of self hatred towards myself as it is my insecurity and anxiety that ultimately destroyed the relationship and I just cannot seem to forgive mrself for ruining the relationship no matter how hard I try. Its been 4 months since my break up now and I'm more obsessed than ever with my ex, despite knowing that he has clearly moved on with his life and is much happier without me (in his own words!). No only do I live in the past and my fantasy version of the relationship but I also try to live in denial hoping that he will change his mind and come back to me, because that denial is like my comfort blanket. I can relate to you though as I also had a number of unrequited love interests during my childhood. One that has lasted in some sense to this very day.. 12 years! I feel I have a form of obsessive love disorder or love addiction and this condition is destroying me. I also suffer from a deep depression as well as anxiety and obsessive thinking.. and all these things together are working against me, destroying my self esteem and beating me back down to the ground every time I try to get up from this gloomy cavern and move forward. So yeah, I'm sorry I can't offer much constructive help, but I know sometimes it helps just to know you are not alone in the way you feel. And you've come to the right place for support. As nearly everyone here is going through similar pains of love turned to unrequited love and break up pains and we are all here to help and support each other through our dark thoughts as best we can. I know its painful now, but we have to try and hope for a better future. Please no that we are all here to help each other and you are not alone.
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