tb24 Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Ok I have a predicament... back in February I applied to do a Ph.D at a university quite far away. At the time, other than my job (which is good, but not fantastic) there was nothing really keeping me here, sure I have family here but most of my friends have moved away. One of my best friends actually goes to the university I applied to. Anyway, I never heard anything back and put it to the back of my mind; I didn't really think about it. Two months ago I met a girl who I'd consider pretty much perfect for me. We clicked instantly, we're into the same music, we're as geeky as each other and have a lot of shared interests, she's absolutely beautiful and I've never met a girl I've had such an instant connection with. However, she is also going off to university in october in the opposite direction. If I stay here she's in easy visiting distance... If I go to university she really isnt (150 miles+). Alternatively, I could quite easily move closer to her. I know for a fact, neither me or her could handle a LDR. so today I find out my Ph.D application was successful and received an offer of a place. While I feel incredibly happy I also feel really torn. I don't know what to do :-\ I've never met a girl like her before, she really is something special. I have the option of deferring the offer for a year but that'll just put me in the same position in a years time. I suppose my problem is this is a big decision which will certainly drastically alter my life, whichever option I choose. Obviously the ideal scenario would be to do a Ph.D at the university my girlfriend is at... but she's going to the best university in the country and it's pretty much impossible to get a funded Ph.D there So basically I have the choice of being with (what at the moment seems like) the girl of my dreams or furthering my academic career and getting a doctorate. I don't even know why I'm posting here obviously it's a decision I need to make but still any advice is welcome What should I do? How do I decide? My brain tells me that it's unlikely the relationship will last so I should go back to university. My heart tells me I'll never meet a girl like her again and I should defer the phd for a year and see how I feel then.
Ouroboros Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Chevy Chase put off a career opportunity for a girl. The girl didn't work out because they never do and you lose your opportunity. A girl will rarely put a SO before herself and furthering herself. Why should you? I don't hear anything about her offering to go to your university for you.
denise_xo Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I have the option of deferring the offer for a year but that'll just put me in the same position in a years time. Yes, but then you'll have much more information upon which to base a decision - as in, either the relationship will be over, or the two of you will know that you are serious and you (plural you) can make longer term decisions based on that.
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