jacksonBrown Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 i broke up with my ex 6 weeks ago she has made it very clear that we cant get back together its just not gonna happen. we were together 3 years and i love her so much i'm so depressed she came over yesterday to borrow my car for an hour and just seeing her again hit me in the heart i was fine while she was over i wore my best new shirt and she must of noticed that i've lost 10 kilos since the split and i'm looking good. i asked her out for lunch right after she left my house and she said yeh she'd let me know so i know wat that means.. she doesn't want to hurt my feelings by saying no but she wouldn't go out to lunch with me. it pretty much deteriorated from there i sent txt's asking how can she get over me so easily? i told her how much i loved her and how depressed i was i was crying the whole time while writing these messages then in my final msg i told her i wanted to end my life and that i was gonna go get drunk and popp a bunch of pills... her response was ' dont tell me that' i really am in the worst depression ever she's on my mind everysecond and i cant leave the couch. i'm seeying a therapist this afternoon i need someone to speak to i'm so alone.
RuinedLife Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Sorry to hear that you are suffering so much. I'm also experiencing the worst depression of my life and am seeing a psychotherapist this afternoon. I think about my ex bf constantly too, dream about him at night and despair over the break up all the time, replaying it in my mind over and over so that it feels like it has just happened. And worst of all is that I am responsible for my ex bf leaving me as I let my anxiety and insecurities overwhelm me and said things to him which I should never had said and I hate myself so so much now because of how pathetically I acted. Now I wake up every morning with this horrible sense of dread and the pain of living through this nightmare is unbearable. I have a lot of dark thoughts too swirling round my head. I try to calm myself by living in denial, saying to myself, "He still loves me, he will forgive me and give me another chance. He will come back" When the reality is we've been broken up over 4 months now and he's shown no desire to try again, no sign that he still loves me and no sign that he truly forgives me for my horrible actions. He must think I'm completely crazy and I don't blame him as I clearly am. I know he's better off without me but I don't feel I can live without him. I just want him to understand how much of a mistake all this has been, how much I still love him and how sorry I am. I just feel so worthless and empty now. Its a truly horrible feeling. But try to hang in there. You are not alone in feeling as darkly as you do. And everyone on this forum really cares. We have to help each other through this dark time in our lives as best we can.
Author jacksonBrown Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 i'm really sorry too that your feeling that way, Its the worst i've ever felt in my life when you want someone so bad but you cant have them especially when you have lots of history with that person. The emptiness without them is very depressing i wanna just snapp out of it and go chasing some other girls but i'm not evan interested in other girls at the moment. I couldn't sit still today i've never felt that depressed i felt like i was going to collaps or something hyperventilating crying non stop man it was bad i would never commit suicide but **** i thort about it i just wanted her to come over and hold me but i didn't ask her to i doubt she would of anyway. I've tried alot to get her back over the last couple of days but she has told me again that 'she just cant do it anymore' and i need to respect that
Exit Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 This may seem like a random piece of advice but I swear the best thing to do is start working out and watching what you eat. It helps in so many ways. It gives you something else to think about during the day. If you actually track what you eat and write it down or enter it into a calorie tracking website that will keep your mind occupied for a bit. The exercise itself lets you release stress/anger/whatever through whatever activity you choose to do. Afterwards you get the benefits of the endorphins that physical activity releases making you feel in a better mood for a few hours. You start looking better and taking better care of yourself. Your confidence will increase. The list goes on. I know when you feel like dying it might seem like the last thing in the world you'd want to do to get up and start exercising, but I forced myself to just start doing it again one day and I've been feeling much better since. It's not a cure by any means but I think it really helps.
RuinedLife Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Yes feeling so worthless and empty when the one you love most leaves you is the worst feeling in the world Everything turns gloomy and dark. Seems like it will never get better and we'll never recover right now. But we have to try and keep hope alive. It will get better. Just takes time, more for some than others. But were are all here to support each other through this. So you are not alone. Many hear are suffering the same, or similar and so can understand and help each other. We are not alone. Just remember that. I know it feels that way now. Believe me I do. I feel more alone then I ever have in my life right now. But we have each other at Love Shack, we have to hang on to that. Do you have any friends or family who you can talk to who can help you through this difficult time?
Author jacksonBrown Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 Yes feeling so worthless and empty when the one you love most leaves you is the worst feeling in the world Everything turns gloomy and dark. Seems like it will never get better and we'll never recover right now. But we have to try and keep hope alive. It will get better. Just takes time, more for some than others. But were are all here to support each other through this. So you are not alone. Many hear are suffering the same, or similar and so can understand and help each other. We are not alone. Just remember that. I know it feels that way now. Believe me I do. I feel more alone then I ever have in my life right now. But we have each other at Love Shack, we have to hang on to that. Do you have any friends or family who you can talk to who can help you through this difficult time? It is comforting being able to talk to ppl on LS about it with ppl who are in the same situation. Yes i have friends but we're blokes we dont talk about that sort of stuff they'll just tell me to get over it.. and the only other person i have is my mum she good to talk to but i dont speak with her that much, i've got a potential rebound thats coming over tonght for drinks hopefully if that goes well it'l get my mind of my ex and make me happy again i really just miss the companion ship
Author jacksonBrown Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 This may seem like a random piece of advice but I swear the best thing to do is start working out and watching what you eat. It helps in so many ways. It gives you something else to think about during the day. If you actually track what you eat and write it down or enter it into a calorie tracking website that will keep your mind occupied for a bit. The exercise itself lets you release stress/anger/whatever through whatever activity you choose to do. Afterwards you get the benefits of the endorphins that physical activity releases making you feel in a better mood for a few hours. You start looking better and taking better care of yourself. Your confidence will increase. The list goes on. I know when you feel like dying it might seem like the last thing in the world you'd want to do to get up and start exercising, but I forced myself to just start doing it again one day and I've been feeling much better since. It's not a cure by any means but I think it really helps. hi exit yes iam working out nearly every day i've last 10 kilos since the split so i'm back in good shape but i've also got a broken leg at the moment so i cant drive, go for a run or evan go out to the pub i'm stuck at home with my thorts and very lonely, exercise does make me feel better breifly
RuinedLife Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 hi exit yes iam working out nearly every day i've last 10 kilos since the split so i'm back in good shape but i've also got a broken leg at the moment so i cant drive, go for a run or evan go out to the pub i'm stuck at home with my thorts and very lonely, exercise does make me feel better breifly Sorry to hear about your broken leg I can totally relate to you on the "being stuck at home with your thoughts, not able to get out" situation though, as I have this long term medical condition that really limits my activities, especially now as the stress of this break up and my depression and everything has just made it so much worse. I'm lucky to have my family around most of the time and I know they love me loads, but my thoughts are so dark right now and my outlook so negative and so self hating its hard to relate to them much. Also because of my illness I can't do much in the way of exercise and watching TV and going on the internet are really the only forms of distraction I have And because I watched all my favorite TV shows with my ex, associate all my favorite songs with my ex everything I used to enjoy just makes me feel sad now and I can't enjoy anything as I used to.
Author jacksonBrown Posted June 11, 2011 Author Posted June 11, 2011 I know right now we are feeling really low, helpless and depressed its good that you've got your family around we need the ppl that love us to be around. I dont really have the support of my family i can always call them but they aren't around on a day to day basis, I havn't got that many friends either which is pretty sad i had made my ex the centre of my world and when we were together we just spent most of our time with eachother we did have friends that we would go and see but now that we've broken up i dont see those ppl anymore so i'm pretty lonely. yesterday after a sent my ex an email was basically my last ditch effort to tell her i've changed alot and i know we could be good again. she told me she just cant do it anymore and i really think its sinking in now that i HAVE TO LET HER GO i've been holding onto hope over the past 6 weeks. But now i need to start healing and moving on i try my best not to think about her but i guess i know that iam going to think of her alot over the next few months but it will get better time will heal all wounds i think once i get a month or 2 of no contact under my belt things will seem alot brighter. just taking it one day at a time now and doin my best to stay positive
.thumb.jpg.3dd50b3a4fbed8b5b2013351720c0209.jpg)
Recommended Posts