Starnette83 Posted April 16, 2004 Posted April 16, 2004 Hello I am a 21 year old female, but I feel like a 14 year old. I feel like at 21 I should have conquered many things, but instead I'm still dependant of my parents and even though I am going to college and soon going to transfer I still feel inadequate and sometimes wonder if I'll survive the school im gonna go to. I have a really low self esteem, ive had it for a couple of years and I think thats part of the reason the bf i have right now who ive been with for over 3 years doesnt love me anymore, cos whos gonna love someone who doesnt love themselves? Anyways i dont even have a credit card, and everyone i know has one, because i havent got one because right now i dont have a job. Anyways i look at Extreme Makeover on TV and i so wanna be on that show, so i can get an EXTREME makeover, get my nose done, my skin fixed, my teeth fixed, my cheeks removed..lol..and get some implants, maybe then id feel better about myself...because part of the bringing down is that i dont feel pretty enough, i know im not UGLY..but im also not as beautiful as i wanna be. I dont like going to parties or clubs with my bf cos i would have to eaiter dress super slutty to get attention cos im scared that he will be looking at all the pretty girls there, so i rather just avoid the whole scene. Anyways i have a really low self esteem and i dont know how to change it, the only time it got a little better is when i bleached my hair blonde and many guys looked at me, but then my roots began growing and i went back to brunette, anyways... I just dont know..im tired of being my worst enemy... i just want to have confidence and be independent, i dont want to run after my bf like i have, i want to feel strong enough to let him go , cos either way he doesnt love me-hes even said it- he just cares about me..thats not enough!! and yet i tolerate it..cos i feel low about me so i guess im willing to take anything as long as its something... I dunno what to do....
yes Posted April 16, 2004 Posted April 16, 2004 First of all, I think it's great that you know what you want to do: raise your self-esteem, become independent, etc. Here's the best way to do it: find a counselling service at your college. Keep in mind that you may need to go trhough several therapists before you find one you can work with. But talk-therapy will absolutely help you, IMO. We can give you lots of ideas here, but what you really need is a real person with whom you can discuss these issues; a person who will keep it 100% confidential and is unaffected by your issues (i.e. not a family member or bf or a friend). Another thing to keep in mind is that many many ppl go through a similar problem at this age. best of luck, -yes
longlegzs80 Posted April 17, 2004 Posted April 17, 2004 I think we are sisters or something. I feel the same way you do. And it is hard to get a better self esteem when there are people in your life that have had a bad/negative influence on you which gives you a low self esteem. I am 23, who is dependant and hate it on my mother, but I am trying my hardest to get my act together and move out so I can possibly regain some self esteem without her always bashing them down. And about your boyfriend, if he really truely loved you, he would do things, say compliments etc., to make you feel alright about yourself. But, he sounds like a losser and a negative waste of time that is in your life that is dragging you down. Now, if he was any kind of man who really loved you, he would not have the urge to look at other women and it won't matter what your wearing. All I can say is be yourself with anyone and everyone you meet. Too, try to stick to people who are positive in your life, friends, family, new man, etc. But, work on yourself by knowing that you can improve your self esteem by including positive people in your life and people who love you and care for you. And about the credit card thing, don't get one because they are a pain in the arse. But what you need to go is get a job and eventually get a credit card, but when you care fully ready to deal with one. Hope this helps. SARAH
Recommended Posts