Tanduay Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Hey everyone, I joined these forums in hopes I might get some advice, help, or just an opinion to this problem of mine: The thought of him pops up every now and again ever since I met him 6 years ago, and usually I can push it aside and live with it. But his recently met-over-the-internet "perfect" girlfriend from overseas *just* came here yesterday and last night they stayed in a hotel room together but the thought of him and that girl sleeping together is bugging me. I also can't ever have him because I've been with his best friend for 3 years. Ouch. Yes. Usually I like to think of myself as a person based off logic and not emotion, but this is the one thing I can't convince my heart by reason. I should be happy for him... Also I should add that by "chance" I met up with the two yesterday. (I've gotten very stalker-like, but that's easy with Facebook these days) She's a nice girl, goes to a good uni, is writing her own book, rich family, part time model... I always secretly wanted to be the one that set his life on track, to make him happy, but I feel outclassed. I just want to get over him, or cope, just at least for this month. I have exams starting next week so this is doing wonders for my study time. I thought I could use my jealous emotions as an advantage but I just end up lying on my bed, thinking. Though just a listening ear is nice too, this horrible secret doesn't get shared with anyone I know.
Karala Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I've been with his best friend for 3 years. this is the part that I don't see how it fits with the rest of what you're saying. Could you elaborate?
Author Tanduay Posted June 11, 2011 Author Posted June 11, 2011 this is the part that I don't see how it fits with the rest of what you're saying. Could you elaborate? I've been going out with his friend for 3 years Don't get me wrong, I have no intention of doing my boyfriend wrong. I just want help to get his friend out of my head.
RuinedLife Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 I've been going out with his friend for 3 years Don't get me wrong, I have no intention of doing my boyfriend wrong. I just want help to get his friend out of my head. Sometimes is difficult or even near impossible to get images of people out of our head, especially if we are crushing on them, or love them. Best advice is to just try and ignore those thoughts when they come up and try and think about other things, maybe make some special romantic plans with your boyfriend, surprise him with an extra special romantic evening or something so you focus more on him and less on this other guy who you can't be with. Unrequited love is horrible I know. I've been there many many times, and my recent relationship has just collapsed leaving me with this horrible 'obsessive' unrequited love for my now ex bf. Its hard to live with I know, but the best way to deal with it is just to try and distract yourself as much as possible and ignore the thoughts. Don't actively try not to think about of this other guy though, because you'll only end up thinking about him more... Its like telling someone- "Do not think of a banana" And obviously the first thing they think about is a banana... Instead try to just ignore the thoughts when they come up and try to redirect your focus to other things. Sorry I'm wittering a bit. And I'm being a complete hypocrite here because I really struggle to get this distraction technique to work for myself, but give it a go and see if it helps.
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