california15 Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I know you've all been there before/are there now. The dreams are getting to me. I've had one every single night since the phone call. Not one night of relief. In the one last night we had hung out at some apartment and were together/dating and when we parted he said 'I'll call you when I get home' (something we used to do before we lived together) Anyways back to the dream. So he called and I missed it but he left a voicemail. So I listened to it... and it was him, only he said, "Hey M___" instead of my name, and proceeded to leave a long cute i-love-you-baby voicemail. To her. Not me. Even though it was my phone. Usually I look forward to sleeping at night, but now I can't seem to fall asleep because I toss and turn in the empty bed, then I have these dreams, and I only end up sleeping about 4 hours total and I'm exhausted during the day. Not to mention I'm most depressed in the mornings as soon as I wake up. I hate the dreams. Its not like I'm not thinking about him/it all day as it is, but I have to be subjected to it subconsiously as well... I'm so tired, but I'm dreading sleep - and its supposed to be my escape
Nohbody Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 What has really bummed me out is that I used to dream about the war, or being back in the service getting ready to go to war (and the dread that goes along with that) and now... she's part of that. She shows up in those dreams... and she is part of the dread and the panic and the fear and the shame. She's so far removed from the person who comforted me so often - and that reflects the way she's treated me, I'm sure. So I can empathize with you. My doc prescribed me sleeping pills. I don't like 'em, but they do the job when nothing else does. Good luck to you.
Author california15 Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 gaaahh thanks. Does the medication help you? What I wouldn't give to sleep through the night and not have a single dream about him. It doesn't help as I'm tossing and turning, to know that they sleep together every night (in every context of that phrase I'm sure) and he's happy as a clam, getting great sleep with his new girl, 'the one' These dreams ****ing suck =(
Nohbody Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I'm on Ambien at 5mgs (I think). It's not bad. It helps. Honestly, over the counter generic "Pain Reliever PM" has a more rapid effect, but sometimes I feel a little hung over in the morning. My ex is with an Irishman in a third world country. She sees him every weekend for extended screwings, and they're about to go on a wild vacation to Turkey together and then they are moving back to the ****hole country they are working in and move in together. Ah. Love.
Karala Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Yeah, our brains don't know when to cut us some slack. Feeling for you, have been having dreams with the ex every single night since I last saw him 8 days ago. Interestingly enough, dreams about my old ex from years before have come up too. The worst I've had was the one where we were together as happy as if nothing ever happened. Thankfully, the rest of the time I dream of him being his wishy-washy "meh" self, going off into is own little world and not taking much care of me. I digress. Medication helps, but keeping use of them at bay is tricky if you're anything like me and don't love the idea of adding an addiction problem to issues with heartbreak.
Karala Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I'm on Ambien at 5mgs (I think). It's not bad. It helps. Honestly, over the counter generic "Pain Reliever PM" has a more rapid effect, but sometimes I feel a little hung over in the morning. My ex is with an Irishman in a third world country. She sees him every weekend for extended screwings, and they're about to go on a wild vacation to Turkey together and then they are moving back to the ****hole country they are working in and move in together. Ah. Love. Ha-ha, my Ambien pills are 10mg, beat you! (erm just joking about that ok) I don't think it's anything heavy or really bad for you, hence why I'm trying not to feel too much concerned. I have to say, for me it does leave a little hungover the next morning so I'm interested in this "Pain Reliever PM" (maybe not the exact same thing here in France but maybe some equivalent.) Hope your ex chokes on too much irish coffee.
Nohbody Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Merci again Karala, Basically, it's just a generic drug sold in supermarkets here (haven't been to France in a very long time, and didn't go shopping, so I don't know what the equivalent would be, sorry). But it would be the generic equivalent of Tylenol PM or Nighttime Asprin. The stuff I used is acetomenophin and diphenhydramine (the sleep aid). Or that's what it's called in the US, anyway.
alrighty_then Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I had (still having) the same problem with dreams. It sucks! After she left me I had dreams every night about her. The worst part is that they all involved us getting back together, so when I woke up I was happy but then realized it was a dream. That always made it tough getting up for work. I don't have that dream every night now (been 4 months), but she's definitely still in there.
TearyEyedPride Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I didn't have dreams... but I had restless nights of checking my phone incessantly. Have you tried watching boring tv?
Karala Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Checking in... Yet another painful dream about the ex last night? /check Heartbreak is getting boring.
Author california15 Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 Ahh I had another one; Of course, we were still dating, and I went to see him in this huge house that was apparantly his. And we went to bed together but in the middle of the night I needed to get up and get water - so he told me where the kitchen was. When I was looking for the kitchen I found this green door that hadn't been there before. As soon as I opened it, it was the bedroom of the new girl he's currently with. She was sleeping in this bed (that I recognized as his real life bed) and there were all these pictures of them in the room and a wedding dress was hanging from the ceiling. Then he appeared in the doorway with a towel around his waist and said, "You weren't supposed to come in here" @TEP: I try not to watch TV before bed because it keeps me up a little once it's turned off - almost like my brain 'woke up' a little to watch. I try reading sometimes.
RuinedLife Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I hate nights with a passion now too. Barely sleep, when I do maybe only a few hours at a time and wake up with horrible feelings of dread and despair again, every single time. Dark thoughts about how I can end my suffering. Its been over 4 months for me now and no let up I really hope things improve soon. I'm on sleeping tablets, but they don't work so well and I can't take them every night because of their addictive properties
Karala Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 /check again. I've had dreams about my ex every night for 11 days now, but just since yesterday, for two days in a row, I've woken up to the sound of my own moaning of pain. Not fun. This night's was a revival of my breakup, only in a totally different and irrelevant setting, my ex and I were having this discussion that turned into a total fallout, then friends of his showed up, and I realized my ex had planned a party and invited people over, I was like "WTF?? You're throwing a party just today?? Is that how much your own breakup means to you??" and he was all snidey and like, "God, you always make such a fuss about everything." lol. Seems almost funny now, but in my dream the despair and feeling of rejection and meaninglessness was so intense. I've felt this way in real life so many times when I was with him.
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