mrK Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Hey, i was with my girlfriend for the last 4 years, we shared everything together, so imagine my shock 3 weeks ago when she told me it wasn't working anymore, and that we should split up. At first i thought she just needed space, so space is what i gave her, then we met 7 days later, had an amazing day. That day she told me that she had kissed a work colleague the night before, i was fine with this as i thought it was a one off. During the same day, she said she wanted to meet this guy to tell him she has no feelings for him, so i went away then she came back to me saying she misread the situation and that she does infact like him. I found it tough, but decided i'd try to move on, but on monday we had arranged to meet up to discuss things, then i received a text saying that she was seeing this guy, and really liked him, and it was if it sent me backwards, i just cant seem to get grips of it. last night she told me she was worried and needed someone to talk to, and we're basically best friends so i saw nothing wrong with it. But after we had spoken we ended up kissing and then slept together, she got upset afterwards and said she felt terrible for doing that to the other guy, we had a chat, i told her all i want is for her to be happy so if thats what she wanted, to go for it. But i just cant seem to stop crying and getting upset, its so difficult, I feel like the last 4 years are just a blur, everything we ever did seems to matter more to me, but less to her, i dont understand where its all came from, the week before we split she told me she'd like to get engaged soon, so i really really dont know what happened in the space of a week.
Nohbody Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 This is going to be very difficult, but you need to not contact her again. She is only going to hurt you the longer you are in communication, and as long as you continue to emotionally support her. You need to disappear from her life, become a ghost. Don't call, text, email, chat or check her facebook. Find Caliguy's No Contact thread, and read up on it. This sucks, but if you and her have any chance, she needs to initiate it because she realizes what she has lost. So lose her. Good luck.
superchiefs Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I agree, I wouldnt give her any more of my time. And in fact, I dont know if I would want someone like this back. It sounds like she is playing you and the other guy. She is probably telling him that she is breaking up with you for him, while she keeps telling you that she doesnt have feelings for him. Many years I was in a very similar situation, I told the girl to just go be with the other guy. She ended up marrying that guy, I know there was some cheating in that marriage, but they are still together. I am just glad that I am not the guy she married because I think it would have been stressful to deal with all the cheating that I know has happened.
Nohbody Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I am just glad that I am not the guy she married because I think it would have been stressful to deal with all the cheating that I know has happened. Superchiefs, you dog!
superchiefs Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Superchiefs, you dog! Well, what she did with me was after her and I broke up, but before they were married. But I guess it was still cheating on her part.
frankidos Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 You are basically hurting yourself the more by your actions. She runs to you when she feels she emotional support by still wants the other guy. Why is she not running to him instead for the emotional support rather than coming to you. As others have right said, you need to stop communicating with her for some time to get yourself back as well as for her to come to her senses. Simply tell her you need some space to think thing overs. She simply cannot eat her cake and have it but it is all up to you. No matter the emotions you might be feeling at the moment, take a decision of contacting her and stick to it, period. Checkout this post on the importance of not contacting her for a while http://www.wantmyexbacktips.com/importance-and-effectiveness-of-the-no-contact-rule/ Good luck!
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