sumdude Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Always told myself I would never get into an LDR. But lo and behold it looks like it's happening. Trying not to read too much into it. As it is she lives in Louisiana and I live near D.C. Met a couple of weeks ago, I was playing a gig with my band and she made some comment about my shirt and said hi. That's all I thought of it until she demanded my number from from the drummer who she ended up talking to. We really hit it off. Hung out for 3 days straight then she had to fly home. She's working a job here so is flying back and forth a couple times a month. But at some point that job will end. She's not at all what I thought I was looking for yet she's the first woman in a long time who woke up that certain feeling. I really am trying to keep from getting wrapped around the axles on this one... but I admit... I'm a bit smitten.
Author sumdude Posted June 9, 2011 Author Posted June 9, 2011 dude, stay away...no good will come of this Maybe in the long run.. but there has been some good nookie already.
alphamale Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 (edited) Maybe in the long run.. but there has been some good nookie already. well you could have included that in the OP...now my advice in invalid Edited June 9, 2011 by alphamale
lovely81 Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Sumdude, I'm so excited! Been following your story for awhile .
heartshaped Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 You know you wanna join the LDR club. Really, it's not THAT bad.
69ways Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 You know you wanna join the LDR club. Really, it's not THAT bad. No not at all, until she takes your heart out, runs it over with her fathers pickup track and then burns it while her and her friends dance around the fire and smokes the ashes:D
Author sumdude Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 Well, just gonna take it one day at a time. She's coming to town for a few days next week. We're both in our early 40's, been through a lot. Try not to look to far into the future and live in the moment.
LittleTiger Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 If you're just after sex sumdude - enjoy! If this becomes a full blown romance though, be prepared for a rocky ride. If she turns out to be someone ultra-special (ie you can't imagine ever finding anyone better) and you can make plans to close the distance asap, it's worth the heartache. She'll need to be pretty damn special though!
Author sumdude Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 If you're just after sex sumdude - enjoy! If this becomes a full blown romance though, be prepared for a rocky ride. If she turns out to be someone ultra-special (ie you can't imagine ever finding anyone better) and you can make plans to close the distance asap, it's worth the heartache. She'll need to be pretty damn special though! Thanks, just gonna see how it goes. She's already looking at least a little bit special. I don't sleep with a woman unless I like her to begin with. The last year I've had a few one and done flings and remained friends with the women. I liked them but something was missing. The fact that I'm even considering an LDR and looking forward to seeing her again says something. BUT We still barely know each other.. right now it's all happy happy fun time. I'm actually more concerned about her falling hard and getting ahead of things.
LittleTiger Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 We still barely know each other.. right now it's all happy happy fun time. I'm actually more concerned about her falling hard and getting ahead of things. That's very thoughtful of you.......and it could just as easily happen in a relationship where you live around the corner from one another. There are some relationship problems that are specific to LDRs, but one person falling too hard too soon isn't one them. How about bringing up the LDR topic as soon as you think it may be more than sex - which I suspect, if you're already thinking she's 'a little bit special' could be round about now? Most successful LDRs (yes there are a few - look at Pyro and CE - and I'm hoping mine will have a similar outcome) start with some pretty intense discussions about how, if, who, what, where, when, why, what if etc etc. The secret to a successful LDR is excellent communication ('good' is probably not quite good enough) - that means you start talking asap and you keep talking. You'll get to know each other a lot better in some ways than people do in normal relationships. I won't kid you though. It's not easy! I love my partner very much but I sure as hell wouldn't choose to start a LDR again. Good luck - whichever way it goes!
LostInTurn Posted June 11, 2011 Posted June 11, 2011 I can speak to this topic. I travel for my job. I am put on projects and fly back and forth each week. I will say, on my end life can sometimes be tough and/or lonely. It's not particularly easy for someone who travels for work to have a home/life balance. If I was you, I would take the fact that this girl has reached out to you as a good sign. It's typically not everyday that someone who travels for work speaks to someone. We typically stay in our own bubbles and veer away from personal lives. That being said, I would suggest not thinking about how she eventually will end her project in D.C. one day and will no longer travel there. She could very well travel to you when this happens dependent on your status and if things work. If she travels for work, she may have the option to live anywhere in the country she wants. This is all questionable though because I don't know the situation. However, I understand that it's not necessarily easy for someone not in the first to understand what it means or what it's like. Think about what you would be happy with and able to tolerate. Someone once told me something that has stayed with me... it takes a very special person to involved themselves and dedicate themselves to someone who travels for work. P.S. If it worked long term, you never know... she could not travel.
creighton0123 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 No not at all, until she takes your heart out, runs it over with her fathers pickup track and then burns it while her and her friends dance around the fire and smokes the ashes:D She's a satanic priestess into blood sacrifice with a farmer father from Louisiana?
aerogurl87 Posted June 14, 2011 Posted June 14, 2011 If you think she's worth it, give it a try. But I'm not gonna lie, being in a LDR can take you straight from feeling like you're in heaven and throw you into the deepest, darkest pits of hell. It has it's ups and it's downs, but if the person is worth it then enduring it all will only make your relationship and feelings for each other stronger.
rafallus Posted June 15, 2011 Posted June 15, 2011 My personal opinion is that LDR's are okay if they're a means to an end. If it's an indefinite situation, it's more trouble than it's worth. I agree with that, if you have a long business trip or several months of work, and you know you'll come back, maybe it can work out. If it's gonna stay that way indefinitely (so maybe forever), what's the point?
Author sumdude Posted June 15, 2011 Author Posted June 15, 2011 She's flying in later today for 5 days. We've been talking or texting every day. I think we're both on the same page of living in the moment. We're both in our mid 40's and have been through a lot. So far seems pretty adult and straightforward. We both accept that however things go in the long run we will be friends. Not every relationship has to be expected to last, sometimes a summer romance is just what the doctor ordered. I am still friends with many of my exes so I'm not terribly worried. Just looking forward to a few days with her.
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