RuinedLife Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Been thinking of all the promises that my ex made to me that didn't last. Such as- "We'll always be together" "I'll always be there for you" So many broken promises....
california15 Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Make promises to yourself; I promise I'm going to learn to love myself again I promise I'm going to put myself first right now because I am all that matters and my healing is all that matters I promise I'm going to learn something from this relationship/breakup and make myself a better person because of it.
bikinibeach Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Make promises to yourself; I promise I'm going to learn to love myself again I promise I'm going to put myself first right now because I am all that matters and my healing is all that matters I promise I'm going to learn something from this relationship/breakup and make myself a better person because of it. like! xoxo
WTRanger Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Those promises were broken the moment they were said. Those are impossible promises, so don't listen to them and certainly don't believe in them. This doesn't mean you have to be a cynic, but use your head over your heart sometimes.
superchiefs Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Been thinking of all the promises that my ex made to me that didn't last. Such as- "We'll always be together" "I'll always be there for you" So many broken promises.... When my ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago, one dumb promise I made was "You can always confide in me". Now here I am 6 weeks later and she keeps contacting me telling me about how sad and lonely she is, then when I ask her why she is telling me this, she brings up the promise I made. Then I have to counter back with, well, you told me you would marry me and now that isnt going to happen, so I would say we are even.
WTRanger Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 When my ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago, one dumb promise I made was "You can always confide in me". Now here I am 6 weeks later and she keeps contacting me telling me about how sad and lonely she is, then when I ask her why she is telling me this, she brings up the promise I made. Then I have to counter back with, well, you told me you would marry me and now that isnt going to happen, so I would say we are even. Why are you mad at her? You're the one answering the contacts. If you don't want to hear it, don't answer her calls or what not. Really. It's that simple. Promise or no promise, you are obviously not going to keep it so just avoid it together instead of making an ass of yourself.
MissBennett Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Well, Mine never made promises like that deliberately. always sighting that feelings change, the future was uncertain etc. I thought it was smart and sensible at first and appreciated that he refused to make promises without having any way of knowing if he'd be able to keep them. however in hindsight, I wonder how much of that had to do with not investing in the relationship. other factors now make me feel like it was more a case of him not being 'all in' to begin with. which would you prefer?
Rinnix Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 That's the reason why I don't make such promises, there is no guarantee that I'll keep them. If people tell me those, while I appreciate it, I know that there is a chance they make be broken.
MissBennett Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Well, Mine never made promises like that deliberately. always sighting that feelings change, the future was uncertain etc. I thought it was smart and sensible at first and appreciated that he refused to make promises without having any way of knowing if he'd be able to keep them. however in hindsight, I wonder how much of that had to do with not investing in the relationship. other factors now make me feel like it was more a case of him not being 'all in' to begin with. which would you prefer? ***citing oh dear...
Fedor Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Those promises and a dollar will get you a lottery ticket
Sugarkane Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 RuinedLife I also get what you mean. There are so many broken promises I don't know if I can list them all.
Author RuinedLife Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 Well, Mine never made promises like that deliberately. always sighting that feelings change, the future was uncertain etc. I thought it was smart and sensible at first and appreciated that he refused to make promises without having any way of knowing if he'd be able to keep them. however in hindsight, I wonder how much of that had to do with not investing in the relationship. other factors now make me feel like it was more a case of him not being 'all in' to begin with. which would you prefer? Would prefer promises of love and friendship to remain unbroken, but I guess life throws things at us that no one can foresee so a relationship with no such promises is clearly much more realistic. As sad as that may be.
ItsRainingAgain Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Been thinking of all the promises that my ex made to me that didn't last. Such as- "We'll always be together" "I'll always be there for you" So many broken promises.... I know exactly how you feel...So many promises...didn't realize how many until he broke up with me, now I wonder was it all lies. No closure.
Kazmi Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 The most painful moments are when I recall the promises. "I'm not giving up on you" "You are stuck with me" "If this relationship fails I'll never get into any other relationships in my life" I promised him he'll be happy... I still want to keep that promise but it's out of my hands. LOL. Makes my heart ache even 4 month later.. We bumped into eachother 2 weeks afrer the breakup I was frustrated, and he acted like a super-jerk. I talked about all the things he promised He told me he meant them.. I believe him, things just change, you can't predict the future.. And we shouldn't try either, it takes the fun out of it Make promises to yourself instead.
Ladyfuzz Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I promise ill never hurt you - Already done I promise ill always fight for us - Never did I promise i wont just walk away without trying - I know you ran away Should have made a different promise I promise to never mean anything i say or promise - aww shucks honey
Author RuinedLife Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 I think one of the things that my ex promised me that resonates the most right now is this one... "I promise I'm not going to break your heart" Oh yeah, and also- "I promise we're not going to break up again"
I have no title Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I think the main deficiency of these promises, is not that they are lies or unrealistic, but the fact that they are temporary....When you are together with the loved one, you feel happy and excited, and you do feel like saying "I will love you forever"....you cannot say that the person is lying or that this is unrealistic, because it might possibly become true..the thing is, that 100% of promises like this are temporary...Our loved ones give them to us when they are at the peak of their love, when they feel like nothing is going to change in their minds, feelings and emotions...But unfortunately, as the earth keeps turning around, the things keep changing too...Love comes and love goes, and those promises still live there, in those times where you were together and everything was perfect between you too....It's a pitty that those promises are more just a memory now, a memory and a representation of feelings, that have already cooled down...Do not refer to these promises if you are not together anymore...Do not claim anything from those who hadn't kept them..The only thing you can do, is wish that one day you will meet that special someone, who, by coincidence or not, will actually keep this promise! Peace!
WTRanger Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Here's a promise you can make that can actually be kept. Just say this to yourself: "I promise that I won't dwell on what my ex may have said during the relationship. I know that whatever was said, was an impossible promise and I should stop putting so much weight into it. I promise to remind myself that they are just words. I promise myself that I won't be bitter against my ex for these promises because, again, they were impossible for them to keep. Being bitter about it only brings myself down and I should treat myself better than that. I promise that I'll stop digging up old bones because it is doing nothing for me expect making me upset. I promise to treat myself better than that. I promise myself that if I stop living in the past and start living in the present that I can watch myself heal and become a loving individual once again."
Author RuinedLife Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 Here's a promise you can make that can actually be kept. Just say this to yourself: "I promise that I won't dwell on what my ex may have said during the relationship. I know that whatever was said, was an impossible promise and I should stop putting so much weight into it. I promise to remind myself that they are just words. I promise myself that I won't be bitter against my ex for these promises because, again, they were impossible for them to keep. Being bitter about it only brings myself down and I should treat myself better than that. I promise that I'll stop digging up old bones because it is doing nothing for me expect making me upset. I promise to treat myself better than that. I promise myself that if I stop living in the past and start living in the present that I can watch myself heal and become a loving individual once again." I tried to make that promise to myself but I failed. That promise has been shattered into a thousand pieces by my obsessive thinking and out of control thoughts. And trying to put it back together again now feels like an impossible task. Maybe I should tell my therapist this when they come?
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