Annalisa Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 I just thought of this in the shower and would love to hear what you all think. Is it true that we're attracted to people with qualities we find lacking in ourselves? I've always been attracted to outgoing guys who can talk to anyone. My ex was that "type". By nature, I'm shy and I used to not say much when in groups. While in a relationship, I only had maybe twenty friends (I don't mean Facebook!) and I spent all my time with the same people. After breaking up, I forced myself to become more outgoing and sociable. I go for events where I know only one or two people. I force myself to talk to new people and make new friends or at least new contacts. In other words, I guess I'm trying to develop the good qualities that first attracted me to my ex. I even find myself looking for a summer job that he would have chosen for himself. Something sales related so I can work on my people skills. Along with this, I realise I've developed little irritating tendencies of his that I wouldn't call good points and wouldn't intentionally choose to develop. That may be the result of being in a relationship with someone for awhile (we were together for a year). So what do you guys think about trying to develop your ex's good qualities after breaking up? I feel like it would make me a more whole and complete person, someone strong enough to be on her own and who won't go running back to her ex. Does that make sense?
superchiefs Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Yes, I agree that I was attracted to my ex because she was skilled in areas that I was not. For example, she could play musical instruments, I have tried to play musical instruments a couple of times, but I dont understand music well enough to play them properly. I guess I have no rhythm or whatever it takes to be musical.
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