miikka Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Interesting situation and I would love advice l but I will have to summarize the developments. I can't tell if she is mind effing me or if she is just not interested... I met kelsey through my best friends gf, she has been talking about hooking us up for awhile now and things have progressed but it seems like some mind ****ing is going on. A little over a month ago I went out to a concert and kelsey and my friends gf happened to be there. It was by no means a date but by the end of the night I had my arm around kelsey and I drove her home after the concert. Didn't give her a kiss but I could tell she wanted one... About a week later I get back from a trip and I text her asking if she wants to hangout, I don't get a response for a few days but when I do she says she has had strep throat... My first red flag... About a week later I call her up and ask if she wants to grab dinner and a movie the next night, she says she is down for that but when I call her back the next night she answers and says she is not feeling great but she proposes a followup date for the next night... Another red flag but she threw in the followup date so I figured I'd give it one more shot... The next night I call her up... No answer. I deleted her number and thought "on to the next one". Next day she leaves a message on my phone and apologizes and explains she feel asleep after work and by the time she woke it was too late to call me. She also proposes doing something next tuesday... I tell her no worries, feel better... Number still deleted and I didn't follow up with her on tuesday. A couple weeks later she texts me and says she is tagging along for a movie with my friend and his GF and that she would like me to come. I decide to go to the movie but don't make any moves because of the mutual friends around. I felt because she insinuated the date its worth a shot. This past weekend her bestfriend hits my up via text and asks if I am coming out that night, she mentions kelsey is coming. I tell her im thinking about it even though I am sold because I want some action and she seems like a nice girl. I wait in line at the club and kelsey texts me asking where I am, by the time I get in she is waiting for me at the door. She was all over me that night and wanted to hold my hand the whole time. We got good and drunk and I ended up taking her home and sleeping with her while I was drunk and also in the morning... Not too shabby, I felt like she had a high interest level in me, things are looking good. Drop her off at her friends on sunday morning and I tried to play it cool, told her I had fun and that we should do it again... She is wearing my sweat pants and has my teeshirt on... That's that.. She's dropped off, I'm feeling confident. So on Monday I get advice from my female friend, she knows I won't be in town this upcoming weekend. She says "If you like her you should follow up with her this week just to be a gentleman"... So I send her a text "I had fun on the weekend...etc, are you free to do something this week" Two days later... No response! Did she smash and dash? Should I send a follow up text? Should I just manup and call her? Should I forget about her and move on? Should I wait for her to reply? There are lots of options, I feel like there is some mind games going on. I wish I had another girl on the go because it would make me feel better and I wouldn't have to dwell on this girl but that's not the case... What do you folks think?
fishtaco Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 She's being a typical flaky chick. Bottom line, you don't know what she wants. So my suggestion is take it one step at a time, which is what you've been doing. Meet up, do something, follow up, try to set up the next one. If it happens, go for it. If she ignores you, put the ball in her court (you have to make sure you're the last one to attempt contact), then ignore her back. Meanwhile, date other women. She's going to be flaky and popping in and out. So do things with her while she's available, but don't count on anything else. If you want a relationship, so far she hasn't proven to be relationship worthy. But she certainly seems like she's casual sex worthy. Give women respect, but only by how much their actions/decisions have shown. She's flaky so far, so she's only casual sex worthy. If she's interested in something more, she better settle down and act in a more respectable manner. Her choice.
samspade Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 I agree with fishtaco. Except I don't like the word "flaky." Flaky behavior simply means the woman has options, and you are not a priority. There are no mixed messages or mind f's, there is only her behavior toward you and what it means. If she's not showing up or canceling plans, her interest level is not high. Simple as that. You as a man should date more women so that YOU aren't left wondering what's going on with this one. Options=indifference. Indifference=attraction. Lay off her for a while and pursue other women, or just mind your own business and do your thing. Let her chase you. When women want to be with a man, they find a way. Oh, and don't get advice from female friends. They will usually tell you to do things "just to be a gentleman," or to make a chump move because it's "romantic."
Author miikka Posted June 9, 2011 Author Posted June 9, 2011 Thanks for the re-assurance! I have been dwelling on this too much and each day that passes I feel more and more like I should reach out to her. Its obvious that is not a good choice... The ball is in her court and I shouldn't let her lack of response affect my confidence (even though it has) The one thing that threw me off about all this was that in the morning we were in bed and she kept asking me about my long term plans. I might be relocating to another country for one year for work and her friend must have mentioned this to her. She was asking me about this plan and she mentioned that she would like it if I didn't go, she also said that if I do go... That maybe we things could work out when I am back... At that point I figured I was in the drivers seat, at least until I sent her off that text message. You guys are right about the lack of interest, I think I am going to have to leave it and if she decides to pursue me at a later date I might give her a taste of her own medicine. Feeling better about it already so thanks!! Any more insight is welcome!
Recommended Posts