Dorie Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 I do get rejected all the time in real life, yet online I seem to attract women easily. This is what has made me think of the pheremone thing. It might sound daft, but I'm all out of answers and don't know what else to think. On how many dates has this happened?
Dorie Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Google Major Histocompatibility Complex MHC ^^ Sorry. But this sounds like a case of something else going on with the poster.
Eeyore79 Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 I dance salsa, which involves getting close to a lot of different men, and have noticed that some men smell "right" and others don't. It's nothing to do with being unhygienic (although there are some men who smell bad because they need a good wash!). Sometimes a guy can be perfectly clean, smelling of soap powder or aftershave, but there's just something about his personal smell underneath all that which turns me off. Other guys might not look physically attractive to me at first glance, but they smell "right" when I get close to them. I vividly recall one guy who was short and balding; I wasn't visually attracted to him at all, but his smell made me feel safe and warm and comfortable. There have also been some other guys who were visually appealing but whose smell didn't really attract me; I felt more uncomfortable about being close to them rather than safe and warm. My boyfriend's smell makes me feel weak at the knees and sets my pulse racing. There's definitely something in all this "smell" stuff...
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 9, 2011 Author Posted June 9, 2011 On how many dates has this happened? I never even get any dates in the first place, that's how bad it is. I've never experienced any woman show interest in me in real life.
Dorie Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 I never even get any dates in the first place, that's how bad it is. I've never experienced any woman show interest in me in real life. What I meant to ask is: From the online women attracted to you, how many dates have you gone on? Among these women who liked your looks and personality, how many dates with them have you gone on? How many have you said "Let's meet up" or "Fancy going to the cinema?" That is my question. Sorry I was confusing.
Dorie Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 (edited) Haven't gone on any. So this is conjecture. You theorize your pheromones are faulty and you can't attract women. Yet online, they are attracted. The next step would be meeting with the women. You don't however. Why? If you don't interact with them, and instead fall back into blaming pheromones for lack of womanly attention, you're not taking responsibility for your part in where you find yourself (womanless). Edited June 9, 2011 by Dorie
alethean Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 It's probably one of many things that attract someone to you. Plus I don't think your smell could possibly be off to every woman.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 9, 2011 Author Posted June 9, 2011 So this is conjecture. You theorize your pheromones are faulty and you can't attract women. Yet online, they are attracted. The next step would be meeting with the women. You don't however. Why? If you don't interact with them, and instead fall back into blaming pheromones for lack of womanly attention, you're not taking responsibility for your part in where you find yourself (womanless). You don't understand.
TheLawmaker Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 I roll around in baked beans and cole slaw. Dogs love my smell. Women, however, aren't too impressed.
spiderowl Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 (edited) I can say that I have found different guys attractive but have never wanted anything to develop with a guy whose smell I didn't like. I did go out with a guy once who I found attractive on several levels but then when we were close his smell was unpleasant. I think he washed and stuff but either it wasn't often enough or not well enough because it still it wasn't nice. I couldn't continue with him. Now I pay a lot of attention to how a guy smells and find a lot of guys are not for me. They just don't pay enough attention to washing and brushing teeth. It's a real problem, believe me. And yes, it is possible that, on meeting, a guy just wouldn't smell right, but I wouldn't get hung up on it. It would be the same for every guy and for each woman that dislikes a guy's smell, there's probably another who'd find it really sexy! It's a basic chemistry thing and we are probably designed to sort through prospective partners on that basic level. Just make sure you keep body and teeth clean as that alone makes a huge difference. Edited June 10, 2011 by spiderowl
thehead Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I know it sounds stupid, but maybe me not smelling right/pheremones not being right could really be what my problem is. You have Social Anxiety. AND you don't want to hook up with any of the ladies who take a shine to you online. Not trying to be a dick but really? Pheromones is what you think the problem is? Pheromones is why you think you're alone? You're ignoring the fact chicks are digging you online and instead, you keep focusing on what happens on the street. NOT EVERY DUDE attracts women off the street! And not every dude can get someone online either. It sounds like you're not wanting to acknowledge--and take advantage of--the positive attention you're getting. It's a bunch of "yeah but..." If you went on dates and were rejected every time, then there would be something to talk about. Instead, it sounds like you're just looking for reasons not to try IN REAL LIFE.
mogul Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 You don't understand. So elaborate. I have come across quite a few of your post and you come across as really negative. I would assume most women don't find this an attractive trait to have. I don't surround myself with people like you mainly because it is a downer. With that said, if you are attracting these women online you should follow through and go out with them. No expectations, learn to be indifferent and just go. Don't think of it as a date, but more so a chance to make a friend or network with the possibility of something more. Stop making excuses on your lack of success with women. Every post from you seems to be negative, or you find something else you think is "broken". You seem like a nice guy, attractive enough to have women interested in you for online dating, and literate. If you have a job, you're better off than alot of guys. Learn to adopt the "fck it" mentality and you'll do fine.
Dusk1983 Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I never even get any dates in the first place, that's how bad it is. I've never experienced any woman show interest in me in real life. ...and there we go. Pity party has started, Ross says we're all invited.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Hey Ross, Imagine we live close. What would you say if I asked you to have coffee with me?
angielove Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 When I first started dating my current boyfriend - he didn't smell nice to me. He didn't smell bad either - he just didn't have a smell I was attracted to. However, once I got to know him and spend a lot of time with him and become intimate with him, I became attracted to his smell. VERY attracted in fact. So much so that at this very moment I am smelling a sweaty shirt that he left behind at my house. My point is... yes sometimes smell might be a factor that first attracts a female to you, but other times a female might find your smell attractive because she associates that with you - a person whom she is already attracted to for other reasons. Make sense?
stepka Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 A good control would be to poll women who otherwise didn't find a man physically attractive upon first sight but later, after 'smelling' him, but before 'getting to know him', became attracted. I'd be interested in reading such a poll. We often read that many/most women decide whether a man is attractive within the first few seconds of encountering him, whether up close or at a distance, so the question begs where exactly is that coming from? The vomeronasal organ, the organ pheromonal sensory perception, supposedly atrophied in adult humans, or somewhere else? Interesting... I'll bite. There was a man I knew years ago whom I did not find attractive at all but every time I looked up he was looking at me with interest. Not in a creepy way, more like amused I guess. After a while I started talking to him and at some point, probably about the time I began to be able to smell him, I went crazy over him. It certainly was that elusive chemistry and when he contacted me recently, well this sounds crazy but as I was talking to him on the phone, I swear I could smell him still, and when I saw him a couple of weeks ago for the first time in years, he still smelled like that and we still had the same attraction. He's even less handsome than he was then but chemistry trumps all and I like to look at him and listen to him laugh. I'm just worried, that if even someone did find me physically attractive from photo's, and they liked my personality, and we ended up meeting offline, that it could still be possible that they would end up not being attracted to me as soon as they're with me in person, because of pheremones/me not smelling 'right'. It happens to anyone who has any experience at all with OL dating. It's why people give the advice to cut the emails and phone calls short and just meet already and why LD OL relationships are not popular. It can be a rather heartbreaking experience if you've invested a lot of yourself and your time and then you meet them and poof--it all melts away, but it happens to a lot of people.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 ...and there we go. Pity party has started, Ross says we're all invited. I was replying to Dorie. Should I lie instead and say 'oh yeah, I get birds all the time'. Btw, if I was having a pity party you wouldn't be invited. What account did you used to go under anyway?
Author Ross MwcFan Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 (edited) Hey Ross, Imagine we live close. What would you say if I asked you to have coffee with me? A non date, I'd say yes. A date, well, I'm already plannning on meeting someone, so I'm not sure if it'd be a good idea or not. When I first started dating my current boyfriend - he didn't smell nice to me. He didn't smell bad either - he just didn't have a smell I was attracted to. However, once I got to know him and spend a lot of time with him and become intimate with him, I became attracted to his smell. VERY attracted in fact. So much so that at this very moment I am smelling a sweaty shirt that he left behind at my house. My point is... yes sometimes smell might be a factor that first attracts a female to you, but other times a female might find your smell attractive because she associates that with you - a person whom she is already attracted to for other reasons. Make sense? Yeah, it makes sense. It's good to hear you say that. Edited June 10, 2011 by Ross MwcFan
Dorie Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 A non date, I'd say yes. A date, well, I'm already plannning on meeting someone, so I'm not sure if it'd be a good idea or not. Brilliant Ross! May I say I've seen your piccy and you're a handsome man. I might have been a bit harsh with you yesterday. It was frustration. It's simply you (not your pheromones) that is standing your way. True you post negative threads, some of which reveal a bit of OCD as it's the same inquiry over and over. Yet, you appear to be coming into your own, growing in confidence. Congratulations for that. Hope you have fun on your date. Keep with it.
LittleTiger Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Ross, as one of the women who believes strongly in the part that pheromones play in attraction, I'd like to explain something to you. The theory behind 'pheromone attraction' in humans is based on our immune systems. We are most strongly attracted to people who have a very different immune system to our own. This is nature's way of ensuring that any offspring we may produce will have the highest level of immunity we can give them. The people whose pheromones do not attract us, have immune systems that are too similar to our own. Our offspring would therefore have less chance of being healthy. So, statistically, unless you have the most diverse immune system known to man, there will be women somewhere who have a sufficiently different immune system to your own who will find your personal 'scent' attractive. By the way, unless someone is particularly sensitive to smell (as I am) it's very likely that they won't even be aware of the other person's smell - although sometimes, they may become aware of it later on once the bonding process has started. Also remember that we are all attracted to different things - different physical attributes, different personality types and different 'smells'. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you Ross - nothing that a little self-confidence wouldn't cure.
PinkInTheLimo Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 The smell of a man is very important. If the smell is not OK, I cannot have a relationship with a man.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 A non date, I'd say yes. A date, well, I'm already plannning on meeting someone, so I'm not sure if it'd be a good idea or not. Yeah, it makes sense. It's good to hear you say that. This is wonderful news
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