LittleMonkey Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Guys I feel so bad, SO bad... the breakup story is on my previous thread. It's been 3 weeks NC today (she hasn't called), and I thought things are looking a little bit better. But I've accidentally seen her new profile picture on facebook, and guess what? It's a photo of her with some ****ing guy. Don't know who the **** he is. Where the hell did he come from. He posted on her wall some "I have a girlfriend" song, and she wrote "what a great day at the zoo, I love whatshisface!!!", and added a new photo album of them together having a great time at the Zoo. I remember going there with her a long time ago... Guys I feel like ****. I feel guilty, I feel like a loser, I feel failure, I feel betrayed. 4.5 years... Has it all been a lie? Should I have tried to contact her instead of NC? About a week ago she changed her relationship status to single and added a sad smiley. Maybe that was my chance? I feel the worst now since the breakup. Thinking of her with him, especially getting intimate... I can't bear this I feel sick. I'm having bad dreams ever since the breakup, dreaming of her not wanting me again and again... She's pretty, and she only has to snap her fingers and get any guy. I had that and I let it go. Now I've got nothing. Did I really have that? was it all a lie? Am I not good enough for anything? I didn't invest enough in her, didn't take her enough to places... I don't know if she was actually breaking up with me for a time only I didn't see it. Maybe she waited for the opportunity... She's probably talking to him right now with the iPhone I gave her. As if I've never existed. All my delusions of her missing me just shattered. She's never put any picture of us together. I looked and there was only 1 picture in her albums of me with her. Probably something she's forgotten to delete, like she deleted me from her life.
TaraMaiden Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 But I've accidentally seen her new profile picture on facebook, ...."accidentally"....? Really? How on earth did that happen then? Silly boy.... You weren't looking for trouble, were you....?
marqueemoon4 Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 I'm sorry man, its a sh*t feeling, for sure. You'll get all the standard advice to continue to follow NC and work on yourself. It sucks, but if she is with another guy, what else can you do? Women can be incredibly cruel.
BrokenFool Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 LittleMonkey - dont despair and dont assume facebook for us dumpees is the satan , dont look at it , or at least try minimise, i would say she made her pic the profile pic so YOU would see it - which shows she wanted you to think what your thinking now also dont assume the worst , so shes chatting to some new guy , doesnt mean he is better than you or ever will be 4.5 years with somebody is not easy to just forget like that let her mask her feelings they have to come out one day in the meantime , have faith in your love, it was real, it was selfless and she will see that one day go NC and work on yourself
dreamscape123 Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 (edited) you know what... Same... Funny thing is... my ex and i used to love going to the zoo too.... See my thread too... ( dumped by my girl friend and a week later she has someone else ) . Lots of us going through it mate... Stay strong... It hurts.... I could have almost writen your situation exactly the same about myself with only a few differences.. Edited June 9, 2011 by dreamscape123
Chi townD Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 One of two things. One- women can be very vindictive if they want to be. If she's been only with this guy for a week and she's plastering pics and updates about him and has only post one pic of you two while you were together. She might be rubbing your nose in it. or two- she is completely oblivous to anyones feelings but her own. Point of this? Defriend her from Facebook, do yourself that favor. If she was rubbing your nose in it, she may send you a text asking why you deleted her. Don't play into her games. She did it because she knows you were looking and wanted to show you that you were replaceable.
dreamscape123 Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 chi townD , thats some good advise. FB is great, but when it comes to break ups, and wondering what your ex is doing, or even a way to make people feel worse, then it really is not good.... Delete her !!! in my case my ex deleted me, but it was then through a mutual friend , that i found out she had met a new guy so soon... and there is another point... Mutual friends... I have just had a massive facebook cull.... only one mutual frind now....Hard but has to be done, otherwise it is too temping to look , and see, and wonder, which makes you feel even worse... Trust me, i know that first hand
superchiefs Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 LittleMonkey, there are a couple of reasons you feel really bad right now. The number one reason is that you have obviously been in denial for the past 3 weeks that you and her broke up. You must have been treating the situation as if she was just on vacation. In order to heal properly, you should have immediately started dealing with your feelings when the breakup happened. Second of all, you should not have been looking at her facebook. I have trouble believing it was an accident. More than likely, she is feeling badly about breaking up with you, she is also probably feeling anger towards you because she is blaming you for her feelings of guilt that she ended the relationship which then made her post up the picture of this new rebound guy. Maintain no contact, once the rebound relationship doesnt work out(which it more than likely wont) she will be blowing up your phone and pounding on your door begging to come back.
inandouttalove Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 I am really sorry I know you are hurting but its best not to look at those sites we all wanna do that but in the end we usually find something that will end up hurting us even more. be strong this is just a rebound relationship if it happened that fast. I wish and hope for you the best and in time it will get easier just have faith
Ladyfuzz Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 My ex moved on in 2 days and acts like i dont and never did exist so ive continued to do no contact, i know it hurts, but she has to go through what your going through yet, she can cover it up with this new guy as much as she wants, but its gotta come out eventually. Dont worry, nobody moves on that fast, its most likely a rebound and when the newness wears off for these two she will probly come crawling back.
Author LittleMonkey Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 Thanks guys, your words are soothing. I'm trying to work on myself ever since the breakup 3 weeks ago, I've been running every morning and doing some crunches and stuff... Thing is I wanted to believe NC would somehow make her miss me even though it was a 2nd breakup (first one was 1.5 years ago), I still had the foolish hope she would return, and prayed every night for it. That hope is now shattered. I was shot down when she dumped me like a piece of trash, and now seeing her having the time of her life with that f***o was like pulling out the bullet with clamps. I still feel it's all my fault, that I let this happen that I failed her, and if not then I was never good enough for her, not good enough for anything, a loser. Don't know what's worse, the guilt or the helplessness. ...."accidentally"....? Really? How on earth did that happen then?I hid her posts, and I saw the small thumbnail of hers on some page, that's how it all came down... my ex and i used to love going to the zoo too...About the zoo, we went there after my cat died, and I had a really hard time then, I don't know if I made such a great time there... Defriend her from Facebook, do yourself that favor.About deleting/blocking from facebook, I think if I was to do it now it would make her see how upset I am, and I don't want her to have that satisfaction. Maintain no contact, once the rebound relationship doesnt work out(which it more than likely wont) she will be blowing up your phone and pounding on your door begging to come back. Yes that's what I've been telling myself, but I'm afraid to even have hope. She's really stubborn, she probably won't contact me just because of that. I'm afraid blocking her on the FB chat and skype sent her a message that I don't want to talk to her... Maybe I should have left the lines of communication open? She can call me or send me a message of course, but maybe the fact that it's not as 'handy' as chat dissuades her? I've set my status to single the day she dumped me... she changed hers (before there was blank) about 10 days ago, and when people asked her on her wall she added a sad smiley... maybe she found out about it only about my status only then and saw it as if I do not want to come back? the blame is killing me!
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