Lucky555 Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Ok so my bf and I..7 months together an only see each other once a week. Due to our schedules however I think we could see each other more. So I posted here about our problems. He told me that he was sorry. So sweet right? Guy apologizes for "appearing" like a jerk. 1. He told me it was too much when I said anything affectionate. He actually tried to deny that he did anything wrong. So I explained how I felt so he could see. So then we "made up" and I thought he understood... 1. I want dates 2. Don't be a jerk and explain himself 3. We plan things together So its already the middle of the week. He hasn't planned anything with me. He Also has barely initiated contact. Now if a guy really wants to be with me wouldnt he be calling? Sending a message. Being my friend?? I feel like he disappears or just doesn't really bother when we are apart. It's like he doesn't miss me? 7 months in shouldn't there be more of a commitment where we at least spend an entire weekend together? He gets chatty when he wants booty. He will text all day to the point of it being annoying to make sure I go to see him. He also says he is tired when I go over...he also makes it sound like "I" initiate waking up and doing the deed. However he is the one usually initiating which is why he does not sleep well. Also he has not said anything about doing anything together hiking, walking nothing!! I just feel like the cycle is back at square one..I have stopped making too much contact because I think it's pointless if he is just going to sit back and do nothing. I tried to explain myself and I got nowhere evidently. I want more of a relationship. Is this being needy?? I feel like we should be spending more time together like I don't get why we don't have the whole weekend together. Or see eachother for dinner more often. I feel like I want a partner, lover, and friend. I just feel like he's not really being a friend because I don't feel like I can talk to him if I'm having a bad day or if I just want to hear his voice. I feel he has put up a barrier between us by him feeling it's too much when I try to become emotionally closer. 7 months and he can't tolerate affection throughout text?! He tried to act more affectionate when I last saw him but it's not enough. I feel so alone throughout my week because he lacks the emotional closeness and conversation. I do not know how to say I need more of him instead of a one night thing. He claims it's not all about sex but no dates in 3 going on 4 months, see each other once a week, does not contact me during the week at all so far, and he says it's too much if I say anything affectionate to him?? He said he's not used to it??? What? I am still concerned. He apologized last time but I think he knows what he is doing! I'm planning on just not even trying and contiuing with my life. I just don't get how some one can be apologetic and then turn around and repeat their behavior! Ugh
Author Lucky555 Posted June 9, 2011 Author Posted June 9, 2011 I think you should follow your gut. Seems like you already know the answer. Ya I guess I do. Avoid contact and be on my way out again :/.just this past weekend I told him how I felt and how he was "cold" and he showed more affection but didnt put anything into words. I feel like during the week he "forgets" about me till he wants to see me. He apologized for acting the way he did and I cried reading his message because it sounded like he believed in "us" working. However his actions are just not there to back it all up. I feel like I should get a phone call or a sweet message but he doesn't. I'm not giving any more. Its give and take so I guess if he forgets about me I forget about him. What is wrong here Is that I told him the issues and I was ready to say goodbye but HE wanted to get through it...yet he isn't even trying same old behavior
2sunny Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 if it's not what you want for yourself - you should break up with him.
Author Lucky555 Posted June 9, 2011 Author Posted June 9, 2011 (edited) Thanks everyone. I guess it's not being needy then! I just feel like if I'm single and alone that I don't have to worry about anything. Whereas being in a relationship supposedly and feeling alone is worse. I only saw him a day ago but in the past two weeks it's me mainly initiating :/. Otherwise maybe I need to leave him be for a bit and give him a chance to implement what needs to change inorder for me to stay. Like I said a day ago I saw him and I know If a guy will do anything necessary for a woman he loves so I will give him a couple days till I make other arrangemnts. I think it's a lack of emotional connection when we are apart. Im just going to give less of myself and not worry. He doesn't think he does anything wrong but ya I wish he would take more action. So my worry of feeling needy is over because I should be getting more after 7 months. Edited June 9, 2011 by Lucky555
Author Lucky555 Posted June 9, 2011 Author Posted June 9, 2011 When I've been in a similar situation I just say to myself that we're not compatible and that my needs are different to hers. I don't think any less of them, I don't blame them just wish the best and be on my merry way. Good luck out there and if you ever need a laugh click on the link below. Thanks I checked it out! Funny stuff
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