blackwidow290 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Ive been with my boyfriend for about a year. Five months ago I cheated on him once and I was honest with him. He decided to take me back and since then we've been good together. I thought we had left that behind us and that based on my actions he would realize that I am trying and want to make it work. Now, the odd part. While we were in bed, he told me that I said another guy's name.. he was fully convinced of it. I was shocked. He told me I said david.. and i was even more shocked cos i dont know one! He was fully convinced that I said it and i was like wow... then he went on to explain that it was something that had been bothering him for a while. when we got together with some friends a month ago, he was late. we went somewhere else afterwards and i told him.. all excited about how i met someone who is in my program at school and talked about the same profs. this was a 5 minute conversation. this guy i met was the friend of one of my female friends's boyfriend. another night, we all met.. and her boyfriend apparently had said 'im sorry the other guy couldnt come'.. which is probably just a general disappointed comment about all his friends not showing up..but my boyfriend had been holding on to that under the assumption that i was being set up. This is CRAZY. Is it a big red flag??? Im kind of concerned also, because ever since we got together my boyfriend has alienated his previous friends saying that he doesnt agree with that lifestyle. i dont know. is this kind of social behaviour normal?
OldOnTheInside Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I thought we had left that behind us and that based on my actions he would realize that I am trying and want to make it work. In all honesty...you were kidding yourself. Broken trust = "Welcome to Paranoia Creek". Im kind of concerned also, because ever since we got together my boyfriend has alienated his previous friends saying that he doesnt agree with that lifestyle. i dont know. is this kind of social behaviour normal? Define "normal". But I would say that it isn't socially "healthy". It's really up to him to try and make things work from here. If he doesn't change, your relationship doesn't change.
Yort96 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I've been there before, my ex wife and I went through the same thing (twice, the second time i found out after the divorce) I never really considered myself a jealous person, but have since realized I can be. Once that trust is broken it is very hard to get back and you must plan on having problems for a long time, even when he says things are ok. There will always be that lingering feeling he will have about what happened, and the whole "David" thing may just be a PTSD related thing. That depends on how bad the situation went down and what exactly you did when you cheated. If you want to stay with him it is just going to take time and reassurance that nothing will continue to happen. When these jealous rants come out get away from the party and talk things out.
Bryanp Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 You have already destroyed the relationship. If the roles were reversed I am sure that you would be paranoid also. You cheated and betrayed him. Nobody ever forget that.
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