BayDavis Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 so i recently found out that my ex girlfriend was hooking up with some dude shortly after our break up. during this time i was also hooking up with her for like a month after we broke up. she said the typical "i love you" and "im not going to be with anyone for a while" (liar). after a while of her and i hooking up, i told her i couldnt talk to her anymore bc it hurt too much to be doing stuff like that and not be together (before i found out about her lies). now that i know what she was messing around with someone else while talking to me, i know i really cant talk to her. it's just hard because i dont know why she would do this to me. we were together for like 2 years and not sure why she would play me like that. i didnt do anything to deserve that from her. i was always truthful and never went behind her back on anything. She wouldnt tell me why and gave me some fake "sorry. i didnt want to hurt you because of my actions" over a text message. not hurting me wouldve been not hooking up with me and telling me she's messing around with someone else. i want to contact her to find out why but not sure if i should. it sucks
wilsonx Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Look, Im going to tell you something... I thought I had the best girlfriend best friend in the world... at the very end of the relationship she turned into a bitch and started seeing someone else while living with me and I caught her. She projected all her negative views about herself on me and really F'ed me up. STOP TALKING TO HER NOW DO NOT APPOLOGIZE ANYMORE WALK AWAY Look I broke NC today, I am a mess my friends are about to beat the **** out of me because she treated me this way instead of a clean break and I keep texting emailing her DONT FALL INTO MY TRAP, you will hate yourself STOP TALKING TO HER
vsmini Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 She wouldnt tell me why and gave me some fake "sorry. i didnt want to hurt you because of my actions" over a text message. not hurting me wouldve been not hooking up with me and telling me she's messing around with someone else. i want to contact her to find out why but not sure if i should. it sucks Want to contact her to find out why? WHY? What could she possibly tell you that would make you feel better for the entire situation? There's nothing she can say. It was a crappy move and you learned the lesson the hard way - do not sleep or try to be friends with an ex right after the breakup. Bad news every.single.time. She knows what she did was wrong - or even if she doesn't - it makes no difference to your pain or life right now. NC her. There is nothing you can say, yell, scream or cry about to her to change what happened.
radiodarcy Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 trust me, NC is your best option at this point. don't bother asking her for answers. because chances are - - she either doesn't have any to give you and if she does, they will be incredibly lame and make you feel worse. my ex pulled the same thing on me. and the more i tried to get answers from him the crazier i got. besides, why give her a chance to explain anything? it's not worth it. there really is no valid explanation anyway. what she did was reprehensible and she doesn't deserve the opportunity to try and "explain" herself.
Nohbody Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 There is no why. There is only what has happened. Accept that, and you will start to feel better. She doesn't know why she's done anything, she's just doing it. Initiate NC.
Chi townD Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Well, after everything she did to you it shouldn't be too hard to go completely NC with her. Every time you feel like contacting her or responding to anything she sends you. STOP! take a deep breath and think about all the lies and heartbreak she's caused you. That should help you stop.
Author BayDavis Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 thanks for support. it just sucks knowing that i wasn't in the relationship i thought i was. i dont know how someone who "loved" you could do something like this. all the lies and trying to make ME feel bad. i think she's just insecure and a straight up coward. she cant be alone for some reason. dont know how i put myself in that situation. love makes you do crazy stuff. even though i got played, a part of me still loves her.
superchiefs Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 thanks for support. it just sucks knowing that i wasn't in the relationship i thought i was. i dont know how someone who "loved" you could do something like this. all the lies and trying to make ME feel bad. i think she's just insecure and a straight up coward. she cant be alone for some reason. dont know how i put myself in that situation. love makes you do crazy stuff. even though i got played, a part of me still loves her. A lot of times people do things without looking at the consequences. You have to realize that you have a lot to offer a relationship and even though you have a lot to offer, she doesnt appreciate it right now and it is possible she will never appreciate it. So what you need to do is find someone that will appreciate what you have to offer.
Mack05 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Bay, I feel your pain bro, but trust me your ex will not be able to give you the answer/peace of mind you are looking for. I asked my ex to meet me face to face to answer some questions I had (after she dumped me by phone) and she responded by threatening me with the police if I contacted her again. I spent weeks having sleepless nights. How could she be so cold? I did so many nice things for her didn't they count for anything? Didn't I deserve closure, a goodbye to my face? How could I have fallen so hard for such a cruel person. My ex never got angry when I hurt her. Be wary of those people, they don't get angry they get even. In her mind her vicious cold treatment of me was justified because I had hurt her previously. I admit I made mistakes, but I did nothing that deserved the treatment I got from her at the end. When I didn't get my closure, I still continued to beat myself up, for my mistakes, for not knowing the kind of person she truly was, you name it. I was in a vicious circle where all my positive energy was being drained from me. Eventually I decided to focus on myself in a positive way and stop thinking negatively about myself and to a lesser extent her. To learn from my mistakes, to stop beating myself up and to become a better man. The first thing I have tried to do is forgive my ex. This has been VERY hard, but I am determined to forgive her and mean it. Forgiveness gives us the inner peace and freedom to move on. To become better people in future. As much as it hurts you have to leave her go and respect her choice..
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