superchiefs Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 (edited) Ok, so here is what has transpired. 6 weeks ago my fiance told me she didnt want to marry me. We continued to communicate with each other and we continued to kiss each other up until 3 weeks ago. Since that time, I have cut communication way down and she has denied any attempts made by me to kiss her. However, she keeps sending me emails telling me how sad and lonely she is every day. I have told her to go and see a professional that could possibly put her on some type of medication. I keep trying to go NC, but because I am such a soft hearted person, I find myself responding every time she tells me how sad she is. Is it in my best interest to start ignoring her when she emails me telling me she cries every day? Edited June 8, 2011 by superchiefs
Chi townD Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Well, she's the one that broke off the engagement, not you. She's the one that decided she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with you. So, what exactly does she want with you? If she's sad and lonely that's on her! This is what she wanted so, she should feel what it's like with you not around. Sorry, to be blunt but, she's never going to miss you if you respond to every little thing she throws your way.
vsmini Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 but because I am such a soft hearted person, I find myself responding every time she tells me how sad she is. Is it in my best interest to start ignoring her when she emails me telling me she cries every day? Yes - it is in your best interest......and hers. She doesn't realize it yet but she will. Next time she emails you just say that you understand it's tough - that it is tough on the both of you but for everyone's best interest you will no longer keep contact with her and to ask that she does not contact you again. end of story.
Author superchiefs Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 Well, she's the one that broke off the engagement, not you. She's the one that decided she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with you. So, what exactly does she want with you? If she's sad and lonely that's on her! This is what she wanted so, she should feel what it's like with you not around. Sorry, to be blunt but, she's never going to miss you if you respond to every little thing she throws your way. Thank you for the response. You pretty much just told me what I thought about it all, I just needed to hear it from someone else. Now I just need to stop responding.
geegirl Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Ok, so here is what has transpired. 6 weeks ago my fiance told me she didnt want to marry me. We continued to communicate with each other and we continued to kiss each other up until 3 weeks ago. Since that time, I have cut communication way down and she has denied any attempts made by me to kiss her. However, she keeps sending me emails telling me how sad and lonely she is every day. I have told her to go and see a professional that could possibly put her on some type of medication. I keep trying to go NC, but because I am such a soft hearted person, I find myself responding every time she tells me how sad she is. Is it in my best interest to start ignoring her when she emails me telling me she cries every day? You're responding to her because you love her and you feel that if you show her how supportive and unconditional your love is for her, she'll soon/maybe turn around. But at some point you have to start putting yourself first and taking care of your emotional health and healing. She chose to end it with you. She can't have you on her terms. If she is sad or lonely, she can find a therapist to talk to about her issues. You can't be her support when you yourself are hurting. Who's comforting you? It sure isn't your ex. It is in your best interest to tell her you can't be there for her anymore and that you have to step away to heal. She made her choice and she has to live with it. She's never going to know what she's lost if you're standing right there infront of her cushioning her every fall. And if she never realizes what she's lost, then well and good. You'll be well on your way to healing and getting your life back again.
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