Author Gisele Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 Wow i didnt realise that was so long, sorry!
california15 Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 NO - get it all out. Thats what Ls is for. Can kinda relate to your ex belittling you over the # of people you've slept with. i'm more of a can't separate sex and feelings person, so my number is extremely low to my ex's, who did not see my views of sex at all and he said to me at the beginning, "I can't believe you've had periods of time where you didn't have sex for months. What's wrong with you? I could never go that long. Gotta have it when I want it" Where was my red flag recognizer then?? I agree with Mack - he's a moron and a complete ASS to treat you like that and you know you deserve better than someone like him. you're so strong because I don't know if I could handle seeing my ex with the girl he left me for, who he's also "insanely happy" with. I don't know how you do it but you are a strong woman and have already come a long way.
Mack05 Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 (edited) I think I said this to you 3 weeks ago or more. How long are u going to do this to yourself? Most of your posts for the past month haven't really changed. Who cares how good he treats her?It's not important or in anyway relevant to you. You're obessing about him/them and not focusing on yourself. While you continue to do this, you will stay in the exact same place as you are now. Is that what you want?. Sadly (and I don't mean to sound harsh) advice seems to be going in one ear and out the other. I really hope u put them behind you, when you leave London. Only you can help you (this isn't sinking in with you). One day I promise you that you will meet a guy who treats you better then he ever did and you won't honestly care, how your ex treated you or his new girl. High Self esteem comes from within you, not from anyone else. Right now you should be turning things inward towards you. That's the healthy thing to do. Instead your not dealing with your emotions correctly. When your not handling things well we focus on other people and postpone having to deal with our own personal issues. Right now instead of focusing on your personal issues, you are focusing on things that have absolutely no relevance whatsoever to your life. You can post here day after day on why he treats this girl like a princess and why he didn't treat you that way. Yes it's good to vent, but only if your helping yourself and moving forward. Right now you are doing neither. Through a caring relationship with ourselves we learn self-nurturing, the ability to love ourselves and see ourselves as one resource we can turn to during times of difficulty. It's through a relationship with ourselves that we learn the most about change, either postive or negative. As we watch and interact with ourselves, we see our vast potential for change. It's through a caring relationship with ourselves that we learn to be caring and patient with others. The relationship we have with ourselves is carried in some form to all other relationships". From now on when your mind wonders to them, bring it back to yourself..You shouldn't ever need someone else's approval to feel good about yourself. Self-Respect, Self-Esteem, Self-confidence, Self-discipline, Self-Determination, Self-Control, Self Importance, and Self-love all comes from within. Instead of looking for approval from someone else (or pondering on the why's and what if's), focus your attention inwards. Focus on getting your self esteem back. Once you get the above qualities back, trust me you won't give a fiddlers f*&! what way he treats this girl or what they do in the bedroom or in public.. This all comes back to you Gisele. Get busy living or stay sad obsessing... Edited June 10, 2011 by Mack05
aiina Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 But he treats HER so beautifully how and why would he have changed? He's not changed at all! this is just a performance he's doing. Just wait and you'll see his true colors ... and by then you'll be so happy living your life that you wouldn't mind
melenkurion Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 He never hit me. My self esteem took an absolute battering though. Gisele, what you have described there is textbook emotional abuse. A relationship should never make you feel worse about yourself. And just because he was sometimes nice to you doesn't mean it wasn't abusive. It's a powerful way to gain control over someone, to disorient them in that way. The problem was never with you, it is him that has the problem. I guarantee that in a year's time, if he is with the other woman he'll be treating her as badly as he treated you. He hasn't changed in any meaningful way, it's simply not possible. She doesnt even realise how lucky she is to get it so easily. Gisele, you are the lucky one. You are free of him, and you chose to set yourself free. The affection won't last, a guy like that can't really change. It's an act, basically. He will revert to type at some point. You deserve so much more.
Nohbody Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 I'm reminded of Stockholm Syndrome. You sound amazing, but your heart hasn't developed the necessary scars and calluses - hence your hangup on this asshat. You'll come out of this stronger if you want to. And when you do I hope you meet me in the LDR thread
Ajax Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Hey Gisele, sounds like things are still a little rocky for ya. I agree with the others who think that it's not helpful for you to dwell on how well your ex is treating his new girlfriend. And the fact that he didn't treat you well at all should speak volumes. Here's something I think might help: Write down five things you like about yourself, and five more things that you have to offer a guy who will treat you right. You don't necessarily need to write them here for everyone to see, but keep it for yourself. There are good guys out there who would be lucky to be with you. It's not good to get hung up on one who's not worth your time anyway.
Author Gisele Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 I know it's not healthy to dwell on it, it's just hard to stop myself some days. I think a lot of us spend a lot of time thinking 'why', it just helps me to write it down here instead of letting it blow out of proportion in my head The fear of them getting closer and closer, and losing more friends to them is horrible I can't see myself ever coming out as the better individual from all this, having the last laugh, whatever you want to call it I can see myself getting over it eventually, but as for feeling confident and in control again when i look back on it: nope. He knows i still have feelings for him, and he has her. He has all the power It's so hard to distract myself some days. Even when they're not there.
Author Gisele Posted June 10, 2011 Author Posted June 10, 2011 It doesn't help that i can't see him as an asshat or abusive: all i see is that he didn't want me, and i miss him And i cant see her as someone who only waited a few hours to go from a 2 year relationship to another. I have them both on a very sturdy pedestal, and i don't know how to knock them off. Any tips anyone? I focus on myself as best i can, but it's not much use when im straight back to feeling embarrassed, timid and overshadowed everytime i have to see either of them I have to figure out how to not look at them like they're more powerful than they really are
sun_moon Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 Gisele We need to talk. I believe you and I have some commonalities. I left him because of how he treated me, his temper, and the lack of trust I had. You are letting him get the best of you, don't let him. You broke it off because deep down you know his tendencies are horrid and you can't live with that. Dont let your anguish, sadness, and jealousy blind you towards the real issue. I know how hard it is to know he has another girl, even worse to see it. But you have to beleive that on a very basic and obvious level, he's intentionally rubbing it in your face and wants to hurt you because he was rejected and himself hurt. It's that simple really! Beleive me I understand. You have to try real real hard to push through the immediate pain and propell yourself forward to find your strength and confidence. I want to share more but I'm at work. I will be back.
Kilty Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 If its any consolation i had a bad day too Gisele Both in the same boat.com - sigh She sat about 10 feet across from me at the canteen today with her two friends - that directly across if i lifted my head up i was looking at her. She is not doing it on purpose as the canteen was busy - but she could have sat with her back to me and not at the seat looking directly at me. Just think she doesnt care and is indifferent now. Probably thinks i have moved on by now too. Was showing her friends some photos on a digital camera of her niece - clearly the fiance's birthday present. Just one of those days when im not as over her as others - if at all - and the express train to the wedding only a few weeks away in August. One of my pals on his group across the floor is going to find out discreetly when he finishes up for it so i can take the day off. The situation is just so ludicrous it's still hard to believe and not too good for the ego. Nothing as queer as folk eh I guess when folk are just happy being with anybody and are that desperate to get married etc there is nothing you can do to win back that type of personality once someone else gets their foot in the door within a few weeks of the break up Gutted again
Mack05 Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 As I said Gisele. Your getting advice but in one ear out the next. Despite the fact that most people giving you the advice have through the same as you, if not worse...
Mack05 Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 (edited) As I said Gisele. Your getting advice but it's in one ear and out the next. Despite the fact that most people here giving you the advice have through the same as you, if not ALOT worse...Believe me....I am 36. When I was your age I was distraught over losing a girl. Now I can't even hardly remember anything about her...It will be the same for you. When I was 19 and lost that girl, I told my mother "u don't know what I am going through". Guess what? She did know what I was going through and not only that, her advise was right. The EXACT same advise you are getting here..But yet you choose to ignore it or do something with it... When I feel I am up against it, I watch this clip. Forward to 1:20.. Gisele/Kilty wheter you are 19 or 69, if you follow the advice here you will achieve what u want to achieve in life. Either that or waste the one shot u have at life on losers....... I can't advise u anymore Gisele. Anything you hear, is in one ear out the next. You will snap out of it, but sadly you will waste ALOT of time before u do.. Edited June 10, 2011 by Mack05
Mack05 Posted June 10, 2011 Posted June 10, 2011 (edited) Adding...Gisele no matter how big a moron this guy is, or how amazing his ex is....Here is another clip. I don't have 1000 friends on Facebook. But my mother told me something once, actually when I was your age and it's SOOOOOOOOO true. If you have a family that loves you and 5 REAL friends then you have lived an amazing life. I laughed. When I was 19, I had like a million 'friends'. Now that I am 36, outside my family I have 4 'true' friends. How many real friends you will end up having? Only life will decide that. In the meantime, forgive your ex let him go and move on.. There is a great clip from below (skip to 3:50) about forgiveness and letting go. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLsWS...eature=related Forgiveness frees us to really move on. "If we want to win we gotta let them go. Forgive them and move on. Other wise we give them too much power over us. And they don’t deserve it.." Right now your ex and for some messed up reason his new girl have all the power over you. The question is. Do they deserve it? And if they don't, what are you going to do about it??Let me guess another post wondering why she deserves his 'love' and you don't....I hate to sound a bit harsh but wake up Gisele! If you were reading your story from someone else, what would you say! Enough is enough..YOU ARE BETTER THEN THIS!!!! Edited June 10, 2011 by Mack05
Author Gisele Posted June 11, 2011 Author Posted June 11, 2011 Weird update, but i had a very vivid dream last night with him in it. He wasn't looking good at all, looked a mess. He was walking in front of me, and turned around and waved in a 'hurry up and catch up with me' type of way, and i just stopped walking and refused. And a girl called Jane i knew from my course suddenly appeared beside me and was talking to me about a guy she met, how they'd been going out a few times and how amazing he was in bed, how she wanted him to meet her family soon. And she told me his name, and it was my ex Then there was this whole 'he's been cheating on his new girlfriend with Jane' part of the dream. Didn't see his new girlfriend the whole time, so didnt get her reaction And i remember thinking 'i should be loving this. He's been outed as being the creep he is, and he'll never have anyone we know look at him the same way again. Proves his new girlfriend didn't mean much to him either' But i didnt feel like that at all, i just felt empty. As in, it doesn't matter WHO or how many girls he's sleeping with, it doesn't matter if their relationship turns out to be a huge sham, he's been with 40-50 women before me and will probably be with loads after, and HE'S MOVED ON AND I HAVEN'T, and that's the point Was a very strange feeling. Then i woke up, and remembered he's not cheating on her, they are both acting very much in love and for some reason a good deal of pain came rushing back from that realisation. I think it was the fear that he really has changed, she'll be the last girl he'll be with and ill be dealing with it for good few years yet unless they decide to move. And that's the thing Mack. It's one thing trying to get over your ex, and it's one thing trying to get over your ex when you see them everyday. With their new love interest. I can't just 'get over it' and that's that. I think kilty understands what i mean when i say you can't get over them in your free time, focus on yourself and eventually they fade away. They're not going anywhere....so what we need is to reassess them and train our minds to look at them in a different light, so eventually we can just feel indifferent when we HAVE TO SEE THEM. You say i haven't changed much from when i started posting a month or so ago. honestly, id be surprised if i had, it's not exactly meant to be a quick process if you go about this the right way. Especially when you have to see them so often. The best way i can describe it is trying to give up smoking, wanting to with all your heart, because you know it's bad for you, you know you'll be happier when you can look at a cigarette and think 'no thanks, im better than that' And then everyday you have to smoke one cigarette. Just one, but you're still reminded of how it tastes and feels. Please be patient with me. And thank you all for your support and kindness Anyway....it was just a dream.
Author Gisele Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 Feel like absolute crap today. Forgotten about, lonely, insignificant. All that jazz. Not insignificant in general, just feel insignificant to him. Which still hurts, probably because i made myself so vulnerable to him On the whole, doing better than i was a month ago! Feel angry that he gets to be so happy, and be Mr Popular after all this Maybe one day people will see his true colours. I know that's 'not focusing on ME' but it's a nice hope. And even after saying that, would still love to get a text from him just to feel like i cross his mind even once! and to get a bit of power back by not replying. Yes. That's how pathetically stripped of dignity i feel! But i dont mind telling you guys, because you've seen it all before
Lilmisus Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 It's been six months now, time to get to work with moving on, chica! Honestly, most of your posts are repetitive, and it shows that you're focusing on a few things way more so than you need to be. You're looking into your relationship that you had with him, and the relationship that they have no, wayyyy more than you should be, especially now. Seeing as I do the same exact thing, and seeing as I feel almost exactly where you're coming from since our stories are a lot alike..I feel ya, and I understand. Doesn't mean it's right though, for either of us. So, I know my saying some of this stuff is hypocritical..but bear with me. Let's start with why he treated you the way he did, and why he treats her the way he does: He wasn't that into you. Obviously. You win some, you lose some. I was there! My ex treated me like sh*t for the most part, and I was in love with him..so I know how it feels..a lot of people do. Because he wasn't that into you, he wasn't fighting hard for your affection in your relationship. He didn't care too much. We can say it's because he's a moron who didn't see what a great gal you were, but at the end of the day..it's just because you two weren't right for each other. You don't know how it is with him and his new girlfriend though. Maybe there's a reason why he's more into her than he was into you. Louder? Older? More experienced? Who knows! You're driving yourself crazy and hurting yourself with worrying about it though. If you're that curious and want to know that badly, just ask the dude. Sounds crazy, I know..because it is crazy. You shouldn't be worrying about it at this point, six months later, and that's the point I'm trying to make here. Also..it could be that he was into you. Maybe he just didn't know how to treat women. Do you know how many times guys here "girls love bad boys" or whatever? "Treat them poorly, they'll love you!" My ex thought that this was true..and said that girls are more likely to stay with guys who treated them poorly. Ha! He was right..I stayed with him for a year because I was crazy about him, regardless of how he treated me. Maybe your ex learned his lesson though. Maybe someone told him "Yo man..you lost her because you treated her like sh*t, it's your loss, learn from your mistakes!" and he started treating this chick like a princess to not have it happen again. Point being: maybe you were a wake up call for him. Now..about your friends telling you when they see them together. Bluntly tell your friends to STOP. My friends did this too, it hurts like hell! I told them "Don't tell me anything about them, don't even mention their names to me, I don't want to know!" And they listened..for the most part. Every now and then someone would tell me something he or she would say, or something that happened with them..and the pain would come rushing back. It's not fun, and it's unnecessary. If you're friends can't respect that you don't want to know squat about them..then you need to draw the line and tell them that if they keep doing it, then you'll start to reevaluate your friendship. But! I do have to congratulate you on how you handled it when you saw them together at the bar..at your table. It's hard not to wonder how many other places of "yours" that he's taken her, I know. Try to look at it this way: everything that was "yours" while y'all were together..is no longer "yours." Try to think of it as..where ever y'all went together, he's probably taken her now too. It was a comforting thought to know that most of the places my ex and I went to, were places he went for the first time..I'd often ask him "ever been here?" and would feel elated when he said no. There's only one place though that I would feel hurt if he took his new girlfriend (we had lots of inside jokes there, and memories, but I know I'd feel like you did or do if he did. Just..expect the worst from now on...don't let anything take you by surprise at this point. One thing I have to also mention: Stop worrying about how you confessed how you felt after you were through and while he was with her. Don't think of him as "a taken man" at that point..think of him as your "ex boyfriend." Both descriptions are very true..but..try to change the way you view it, to try to change the way you feel about yourself for letting your heart be known at that point. I don't think you did anything wrong..but..maybe that's just me. NOW. Get your girls together, and have them take you for a night on the town, and meet a nice, HOT, guy who will treat you decently. Even if it's for a few dates..just go out and meet one..or two..or three. Just go back out there and start moving forward again in your love life, rather than holding onto the past and worrying about their relationship, since it's doing you absolutely no good at this point.
Author Gisele Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 Thanks, it was harsh but i think i needed it Only, as soon as you said 'he wasn't that into you' i felt absolutely awful. Like being punched. I think it's because that's all i had to cling to: that im not unappealing to him, he just moved on He pursued me so hard, and was so insistent when trying to change my mind after the break-up that the only comfort i had was he DID find me attractive Now i just feel like ****e. That he was only with me because he was bored or something It hurt more to hear than his rejection itself. Im no good at shrugging that kind of thing off, i think my self esteem is still rocky from the relationship! in fact, hearing the possibility that he just prefers her, and wasn't that into me anyway, just makes me think WHY more and really compare myself to her I know what you're trying to say. I think that's just the type of person i am unfortunately
Author Gisele Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 Also, it's a bit depressing to consider the possibility that she's better than me in his eyes, plain and simple I think it's because my friends always tried to tell me she was no comparison, and he just tended to jump between girls out of loneliness Im really sorry, im just not in a great place today. Am crying again for goodness sake!
Kilty Posted June 12, 2011 Posted June 12, 2011 Dont worry - your are not alone. I too have had a pishy weekend. You think you are over it, feel great for days, weeks and then BAM ! The killer is being in such close proximity with work. I know i would have moved on a long time ago if i never seen her again. I guess thats the best example of why you should avoid work relationships like the plague. The same old crap goes on and on in my head - about how she could replace me so quickly and particularly who with. 2 years down the drain and she moved on with a click of he fingers. Yeah it was my fault - she must have thought i didnt care But still ...............
Author Gisele Posted June 12, 2011 Author Posted June 12, 2011 That's it exactly it Kilty! if it weren't for them constantly being within view, the constant proximity, the tiptoeing around mutual friends, i have ZERO DOUBT in my mind that id be over this by now!!! That's what's so infuriating. I really am getting there, believe it or not. Sorry that my posts are repetitive, but please remember i only post here when i feel low: you guys only see the very bad times I can have days when i think of him and just think 'why did i waste my time with that prat' and can actually laugh about it Then, like you say kilty, it sneaks up on you sometimes. THAT'S when i come here. it really is frustrating how much the proximity holds you back. And that's not 'how much YOU let it hold you back, you give it the power', it really is out of yours hands sometimes how it can hinder your progress and play on your emotions. None of us are robots Yes, one day i could be standing right beside him and not give a damn, but that's like saying the same for any ex, it's a BIG achievement that takes time: you still shared things, you still had those emotions, and their presence will always make stuff re-surface Though, i hope this is a lesson for anyone who CAN go completely NC but is on the fence about cutting contact for whatever reason: please, please, please do it! It's such a luxury, and let my mad ramblings and self-pitying posts (lol im not entirely lacking self awareness) be proof that even limited contact really slows your progress and holds you back A previous boyfriend who i really loved, and loved me too, who i had the most lovely relationship with for a year and a bit, was far easier and faster to move on from than this douchebag who didn't even treat me well. Madness. And i have very little doubt in my mind that it's because i had the option of complete NC with him. It was agony at first, but i had no reminders, nothing to distract me from my progress, and now i just have fond memories. Go NC, do it now, and don't look back. Anyway, im sorry to hear you're having a rough time too Kilty. Just bear in mind that one way or another, she wasnt the woman for you, and hopefully the right one will be around soon. Then her and baldy won't get a second thought
Lilmisus Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Thanks, it was harsh but i think i needed it Only, as soon as you said 'he wasn't that into you' i felt absolutely awful. Like being punched. I think it's because that's all i had to cling to: that im not unappealing to him, he just moved on He pursued me so hard, and was so insistent when trying to change my mind after the break-up that the only comfort i had was he DID find me attractive Now i just feel like ****e. That he was only with me because he was bored or something It hurt more to hear than his rejection itself. Im no good at shrugging that kind of thing off, i think my self esteem is still rocky from the relationship! in fact, hearing the possibility that he just prefers her, and wasn't that into me anyway, just makes me think WHY more and really compare myself to her I know what you're trying to say. I think that's just the type of person i am unfortunately Sorry for the harshness, but I've found that the harsher the feedback, the better it is for me. To constantly hear "you'll be okay, you're great, awww, continue with your story!" doesn't help as much as we wish it would..and those with the more "in your face" comments towards me...have really helped more than anyone else. Sometimes..you have to get off your butt and get to work with moving on. Here's the facts: You're OBVIOUSLY a great girl! You're obviously a great catch! And you'll obviously find someone who sees everything you have to offer. That is not news for you. You just haven't met that guy yet. He wasn't that guy..and since he wasn't that guy...stop worrying about him. Way easier said than done, oh God how I know that. But..it's the truth. Truth hurts, I know..but that doesn't change it. And yeah..sorry about the bluntness of that comment..but I'm not taking it back. You definitely misunderstood me though, and I'm sorry that I wasn't more straightforward with what I meant. I wasn't saying that you aren't attractive to him, nor did I mean that you were just a placeholder for him since he was bored or whatever. Just, for one reason or another, you weren't what he's looking for. He probably thought you were gorgeous, and that you have a great personality and that's why he chased after you! But, when everything was said and done..it just wasn't enough for him. You don't have some trait (whatever it may be..he may not even know just yet) that he is looking for and needs. It happens..and we all have to accept that fact that we can't be perfect for everyone..even for those we love. If we could be..then none of us would end up broken hearted, he would have treated you like a princess, and my ex wouldn't have left me for another girl. But it does happen, and we have to just accept that fact and move on the best we can, and just look forward to the guy who finds us perfect for them. That's what I'm holding onto now..just knowing that fact..that he (whoever he may be) is still out there looking for me, just as well as I'm looking for him. Try looking forward to it too..it may seriously help you, as it has for me. And like I said..our stories are a lot alike..so maybe it can. And I know that you only come here when you're feeling low. Hell..I probably post here more than anybody, so there's absolutely nothing wrong with it, by any means. But..my point was that you feel low because you focus on a few of the same things and repeat yourself a few times in regards to those few things, and I wanted to point that out so that you can work on not focusing on those things as much. (example being when you expressed your feelings towards him and he was with her, I've seen more than a couple comments about how horrible you feel about it..you can't let that bring you down, not anymore. There was nothing wrong with it, and you can't keep kicking yourself over that.) Accept it..and try (please try, I should say), to move on. I really hope that soon, you can go NC, it really is a wonderful thing. But..it is possible to get over him while he's still there. Trust me..it is. You just have to let yourself do it first and foremost.
sun_moon Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Also, it's a bit depressing to consider the possibility that she's better than me in his eyes, plain and simple I think it's because my friends always tried to tell me she was no comparison, and he just tended to jump between girls out of loneliness Im really sorry, im just not in a great place today. Am crying again for goodness sake! Gisele, while I understand the tone and motive behind what lilmisus said I don't quite exactly agree. Your friends and yourself know the dynamic behind the time you had together. He probably isn't able to be alone because of the rejection and ego. "he's just not that into you" doesnt last 1 or 2 years( don't know length of your r/s) instead, it fizzles quickly for that next conquest/victim. He's just very messed up. Yes there may be a chance he saw the error of his ways and is trying to change but that's easier said than done. Looks are so deceiving, Just because they apear happy and perfect and he treats her "better" doesn't mean it's actually true. You have no idea What goes on behind closed doors only what he wants to display. No relationship is perfect and I promise you they are far from it. It's so obvious everything he's doing is energy spent on showing you how "happy" he is or how "wonderful" she is. Rubbing situations in your face is so not showing he's over the breakup, he just doesnt want to deal with the pain he just wants to forget. No one knows the answer, just know this: Whether this is something deep or something he's trying to fool himself with, the fact of the matter is that you two are no longer together and you have to use that as ammunition to turn what your dealing onto something constructive for your innerself. Besides, he's a complete and utter douchebag, you yourself admit that. The key is to remind yourself of that when you find yourself missing him and feeling anguished.
Lilmisus Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 Gisele, while I understand the tone and motive behind what lilmisus said I don't quite exactly agree. Your friends and yourself know the dynamic behind the time you had together. He probably isn't able to be alone because of the rejection and ego. "he's just not that into you" doesnt last 1 or 2 years( don't know length of your r/s) instead, it fizzles quickly for that next conquest/victim. He's just very messed up. Yes there may be a chance he saw the error of his ways and is trying to change but that's easier said than done. Looks are so deceiving, Just because they apear happy and perfect and he treats her "better" doesn't mean it's actually true. You have no idea What goes on behind closed doors only what he wants to display. No relationship is perfect and I promise you they are far from it. It's so obvious everything he's doing is energy spent on showing you how "happy" he is or how "wonderful" she is. Rubbing situations in your face is so not showing he's over the breakup, he just doesnt want to deal with the pain he just wants to forget. No one knows the answer, just know this: Whether this is something deep or something he's trying to fool himself with, the fact of the matter is that you two are no longer together and you have to use that as ammunition to turn what your dealing onto something constructive for your innerself. Besides, he's a complete and utter douchebag, you yourself admit that. The key is to remind yourself of that when you find yourself missing him and feeling anguished. You know..I don't think I ever caught how long they were together, how long was it exactly? I've always kind of assumed it was for a few months time, but less than a year. But, I think that in most cases where it just doesn't last and where it's the guy that pulls away, and especially where he treats the girl poorly throughout the relationship and after, is a case where he just wasn't that into her. Like I mentioned, another reason he treated you so poorly, could have been because he doesn't know how to treat a girl, and is trying to do better this time. Or, Like Sun moon here said (which I was going to throw that in earlier, but it slipped my mind), it could easily be all for show. But..it's been going on for six months..you'd think that the dude would have gotten sick of pretending to be happy by now..unless he's just that immature and pathetic (which by all means could be true). When everything is said and done though, thank God you're not with someone who would do that, anymore. It's truly a blessing in disguise here. He seriously sounds like a pathetic loser who is just clinging to her because she's heart broken over her breakup still, and therefore knows it wont last with her, since he probably realizes that he's just a rebound (and knows that she's just a rebound for him). Sometimes..when you know that there's a definite expiration date for a relationship..you throw yourself all in, just for the hell of it..and he could just be doing it. Doesn't change the fact that he's a pathetic loser that you need to move on from though.
Mack05 Posted June 13, 2011 Posted June 13, 2011 The key here is that Gisele is leaving college for the summer so won't have to see them. She is a sensible girl and I have no doubt when college resume the way she views them will be entirely different. Gisele we all have people in like when we look back in 10 years and say what the hell was I thinking! This guy will be one of those memories. The guy is a total douchebag
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