Zany90 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 (edited) Basically me and my girlfriend broke up a while ago, she ended it with me after a string of horrible arguments, but still wanted to be friends... I tried my best but it was eating me up inside that she wanted to talk on the phone but didnt think it was a good idea to meet because it was too "raw" etc. I ended up telling her i really wanted to sort things out and was possibly verging on pathetic at that point which i shouldnt have done, and she told me that she didnt think we could fix it. I said at that point that i think its best if we give each other a bit of space because every time i talk to you its just hurting, especially that you want to talk but not meet etc etc etc... Anyway... 2 days ago, curiosity and also the fact that i still care about her got the better of me, and i texted her just to see how she was doin and if she had a good weekend etc... She wrote back and we texted for a bit about the weekend, she told me she had exams coming up on the 16th which is the day before my birthday (her words)... talked about how she was doin in her course etc... and i told her that the next day i had an interview for a course ive been wanting onto for months and months now... she knows how important this was to me when we were seeing each other, but she didnt text to say "good luck" or ask how it went or anything... I feel a bit hurt that i went out of my way to ask how she was doing and she couldnt even wish me luck for the interview.... during the text conversation all she said about it really was "how are you feeling about it" and that was about it... Im unsure if she just really does not care any more (because at the time when we were texting she was asking who i was with at the weekend and if it was good etc and it seemed like she was interested)... or if she maybe didnt think she should text because we were supposed to be giving each other space - but if you ask me thats pretty lousy because i initiated contact the day before... I dunno im probably clutching at straws but i definately expected her to say something or ask how it went... Dont even know what the point of this post is .. just venting... Now im totally unsure if i should even bother my backside texting on the 16th to wish her luck for her exams... Edited June 8, 2011 by Zany90
LjHappyDays Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Hi , Its nice of you to want to text her good luck... But do you think this will open up wounds? I have split with my partner of two years and i text him to collect my things ( I had ALOT there!) but its so plain and either yes or no sometimes i wish he would say something else..... So i no how you feel. It would be nice for you to text, because when you have been with somebody its impossible not to care about them (no matter how much thats person claims he/she has moved on) When you spend intimate time with somebody its impossible to care. People may just try to hide their feelings and pretend all is ok (like me) Personally if you text her or not your going to be thinkiknh about should you have/ or if you have why hasnt she text back? You will analyise everything - Like i have been with my ex. You were with this girl for a while im guessing? So maybe do text but just a simple good luck for today! And make a joke or make it friendly .... Dont say miss u or anything just keep it cool. Or maybe dont text her if she hasnt took interest in your course etc. Do you want to get over this girl or wait around for her? Its such a personal descision to make. Peace x
Author Zany90 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 We were on and off for about 5 years but i love her deeply, i know that one of the main reasons she broke up with me was because she said i never cared ... That hurts because i did, i just could have shown it alot better. I made alot of mistakes but im not really a bad guy.. When tempers flare i can never leave it so i am responsible for continuing arguments etc... Part of me still wants to work things out with her, i keep thinking like if im not hounding her with text messages and phonecalls about getting back and coming across as desperate, but still show i care like i did by texting the other day maybe she will see things differently. Unhealthy i guess. I cant change her decision if she doesnt want to fix things, but part of me thinks if she was to see that after the dust has settled that i do actually care then she might see things differently. Arguing and talking about it over and over was only causing friction and more fights so i took a step back. I just kinda thought that seeing each other or not its only decent to wish someone luck when they say theyre goin for an interview. My head feels a little clearer after a period of breathing space but her not saying anything has made me question if she just doesnt care about me any more... Who knows what shes thinking. I just know that if youre constantly fighting and arguing and going round in circles that isnt a way to get someone to want to meet up and fix things, however putting feelings to the side and showing i care might be a better option.... Then again that could go the other way too, its hard to know any more... Maybe shes discovered after the period of NC that shes happier without me and doesnt want to encourage me, just wish i knew. Think i will be decent and say good luck, because if shes already of the opinion i dont care and i dont then it only reinforces her beliefs.... Should probably not initiate contact until thatday though what do you think?
LjHappyDays Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Im kind of the same , i didnt start arguments but i didnt finish them and say no this is wrong. Its so hard not knowing what the other person is thinking ... I wish my ex boyfriend would tell me how he feels, and your the same with your ex. The thing with women is, we want to feel loved and cared for, we moan and moan and want attention - not in a selfish way but a loving way. 5 years is a hell of a long time, The fact that you are texting her is caring and i cant see why she wouldnt think 'awww how sweet' when she reads it unless you really hurt her bad? I think you should text her yes. The only reason not to is if you have p****d her off BAD. Maybe you just need space away from eachother.... me and my bf argued quite alot and he has said he doesnt miss me etc... which hurts. But its the cool down period that makes you realise what is right and wrong. How long have you been split now?
superchiefs Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I would recommend talking to her in person. Tell her you want to date her. Then if she tells you she doesnt want to date you, dont waste any more time on her. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and take a chance of getting rejected. If she rejects you, then do not communicate with her any more unless she sends you some sort of message indicating that she is now interested in dating you. At that point, you can decide if you still want to date her or not. You cant make her love you, but you can remove yourself from the situation if you arent getting what you want out of it.
Author Zany90 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 I suspect she is hurt badly, we both said alot of things ... But the way i see it is she replied on mon and we texted a bit with no animosity so she is talking to me like... Ive already tried the putting it straight to her that i dont want it to end with her, but i think sayin things like that only pushes them further. What i cudnt stand was talkin every night on the phone but her sayin no to my requests to meet, it made Me feel like ****... I cant do that, but i dont want her to think i dont care about her cus i do. Wish it hadve never got to this. If there was anyone I thought id spend my life with it was her, i wudvr married her and had kids with her... We been thru so much, alot of it bein young and related to partyin And all the bad things that hapen to the head because of it... Think she had enuf of the fights, so had i, but i want her to know that that isnt all it was with us cus it wud be easy to only remember the bad things
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