Sugarkane Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I feel like I sort of lost myself in my last relationship. Even after my ex dumped me by text and betrayed me [we were together a year], everyone still somehow took his side. I really needed support and friendship, but I felt like I had no one. I basically lost all my friends aswell as my ex. I heard one of my co workers talking about her boyfriend before. She does nothing without him. I thought I god was I that person? The problem is when you're in the honeymoon stage, you just wnat to be with the person all the time. How do you keep doing your own things aswell, so you don't lose youself? I don't want to end up completely alone again, after a breakup.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I do this by not seeing my boyfriend more than 3 times per week. That way, we still have some alone time (although we are in constant contact even then so I wonder how effective that is). I do like it that way
Arikel Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Alone time have 1-2 days/evenings to yourself, even if its just watching a tv marathon, or browsing the net lol
Cee Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I have 5 friends I can't live without. I make a point of calling and seeing them often. And I only bring my boyfriend along sometimes. But I'm a mess with exercise. When I was single, I ran a lot. Now I want to lay around. I'm trying to make a pact to exercise 3 times a week. I have a therapist who helps me keep focus on me. In the past I gave up all for my BF. I don't want to go there again.
Thatguyintx Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I try to remind myself that the independent person who had other hobbies and friends is the one who attracted the SO in the first place. And I want to remain that person for me and for them. Having said that, I have a pretty good sense of independence and need a good amount of me time. That's the only way I can sort out problems and life issues is by having some down time. Too bad the last SO thought down time meant I didn't love her and spent 2 years trying to change me. (Don't make me choose between you and my need for some down time, you won't like the answer!) Stay interested in hobbies and friends and help your SO stay interested in their hobbies and friends. Dedicate two nights per month as time away days to be yourselves. Distance makes the heart grow fonder!
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