i dont want to end this

[Hurtdude]

hi im new here and im going through a tough time so im looking for some advice for this problem i have so here goes nothing im sorry if its long...

 

I have been with this girl for 3 years and she has really change my life for the better. When i was younger i had a tough life and that carried into high school so i was a wreck when i started. well i didnt want to do much with my life then so i was thinking who cares i dont so im going to end it but then i met the girl of my dreams. we talked alot the first year of high school and became really good friends later we actually became a couple so over these 3 years she has been making my life so much better all these bad thoughts i had were gone and all i could think about is her. we even share this special connection and i can tell if something is bugging her or she can tell if something is bugging me. we would talk about how we would get through college together and eventually get married and have a life together. and we were always happy when we talked about this and we even promised each other that we would love each other for the rest of our lives and that nothing was going to change that.she really improved my life and i thank her all the time for it. i even promised her that i would not take my life.

 

so here comes our last year of high school and we are about to enter college and i find out that she falls in love with another person. at first i didnt want to believe it i thought they were just good friends and this guy is a friend of mine too and the guy is really nice and i thought i could trust him, but after a while i grew worried about the way they acted so i had to confront her and she told me the truth about how she loves him i was heartbroken and still am but she tells me that she still loves me but she loves him as well. she also says how she still wants to keep that promise of us getting married and starting our lives. so one day i wanted to talk with both of them and it was really difficult because i couldnt look at the guy in the face because of what happen but we talk and at first i thought we made some progress but i was still worried and paranoid so i go home and days later she tells me they kiss and when i hear this it breaks my heart even more. we keep talking and she tells me how a lot of things remind her of him but she still loves us both.

 

i dont know if they are keeping anymore secrets from me part of me wants to know and the other part wants to spare me from more heartbreak. at one point i was so mad that i felt like beating up the guy for doing this but hes not the only one to blame for this. im still mad but if i do hurt the guy im going to be the bad person in this and it might make things worse for me

 

im still hurt but i still want to be with her but i know that this love for him wont go away and to be honest i dont think she wants it to go away and neither does he but they dont want to hurt me more which i dont understand. she is my first true love and i mean my FIRST love she is the only person ive been with. she was the only person who actually liked me and i thought that was special because in my opinion i dont think many people like me but im not very confident in myself but she looks past that and helps me. i also love her because she is different,smart, independent and just a wonderful person she is unique she doesnt drink, smoke, do drugs or any of the bad things that people do in my school to me shes perfect but after this happen i just don't know what to do i cant trust her to be alone with this guy and i cant trust him because i'm afraid something will happen again and i'm afraid that he is winning her heart more because of the way he is and even though she says she loves me she changing the way she acts towards me an example is where i usually here her say "i miss you i wish you were her with me" but now i hardly hear that and i hear that shes not feeling well and i think its because of all of this. i don't want to end my relationship with her because i don't think i can love anyone as much as i love her even if something does happen i would still love her, but that is what im trying to avoid i don't want anything bad to happen but i'm really just to hurt to think clearly

 

im sorry this is long and im also sorry if i sound stupid but she is really my FIRST love but if anyone can help me, preferably helping me fix things with her and all this, i would really appreciate it...im just really hurt right now and i cannot think ...

[TaraMaiden]

You need to tell her, that loving you both is unacceptable. Out of the question.

 

She can't have both of you, and she needs to step up to the plate and make her decision: it's either you, or him.

No messing, no having her cake and eating it, no two ways about it. One or the other.

 

At this point though, I think you already know what her decision is going to be.

 

First loves hardly ever turn into 'last loves'.

 

Put this down to experience, vow to never do this yourself to another guy, with his GF and move on.

 

It's a folly of youth to believe that a first love is extra special. It isn't. It's just a way into understanding how painful love can be, and that the sound of the first hello always contains echoes of the last goodbye.

 

I fear that you will not come in front with this one - but put it this way - he is getting the flaky girlfriend, not you.

If she can do it to you, she will also be capable of doing it to him.