mr h Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Sorry this is long. I had a affair recently it lasted about 3 months, this affair was with a longtime friend of mine. I am married and so is she. I am happy in my marriage all though the sex at times was a little boring, she said that she has a great marriage and couuldnt understand why she was doing this. She said she had great sex all the time with her husband i think she was telling a little bit of a lie about that or else she wouldnt have been having sex with me.The 1st few months of the affair were incredible as we couldnt keep our hands off each other even when our spouses were around we were able to get some kind of physical contact with each other. We said in the beginning that this would just be physical not emotional, well that didnt hold true and 1st she started to fall for me and then i started to fall for her. So we backed off but that only lasted for a few days that same senario played out a few times. Then over night my she went completly cold on me out of no where, when i asked her what happened she told me nothing is wrong. Finally after 2 weeks of limited contact she asks me to meet her, she tells me that i was over thinking this affair. I dont believe i was but she had her mind set so i wasnt going to fight about it. She said she couldnt continue with doing this and i agreed, but then she kept sending me flirty texts and phone calls not nearly the same amount as in the past but they still were coming. And im not going to lie but i was still trying to keep in touch with her. Now in the past 2 weeks this girl one day wouldnt even look at me she would just hello and that would be it, oh sorry i forgot to add this in we see each other about 4xs a week because of school and kids. Then the next day she would ask me to walk with her for a half an hour like everything was fine. I guess there are a few questions i hope someone can help me out with. 1st. is it possible to have an intimate relationship with a woman for 3 months and then have her completely forget about you or does she still think of me at all because i still think about her? 2nd. I would still like to be friends with this woman as we have been friends for over 25yrs now and if you can believe it we have gone out as couples with our spouses and have had a great time all though not as much as usual? 3rd. If i stay friends with her do you think that the affair would start back up, im not going to lie i wouldnt mind if it did and i dont think she would either? I know this sounds terrible but if i did want to try and start this up again would the NC thing work or should i try something else. Thanks for your help
kaculka Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 looks like you are yust an escape for her from her marriage. Not sure if you can maintain frienship as you have bluerd the boundaries
John Michael Kane Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Sorry this is long. I had a affair recently it lasted about 3 months, this affair was with a longtime friend of mine. I am married and so is she. I am happy in my marriage all though the sex at times was a little boring, she said that she has a great marriage and couuldnt understand why she was doing this. She said she had great sex all the time with her husband i think she was telling a little bit of a lie about that or else she wouldnt have been having sex with me.The 1st few months of the affair were incredible as we couldnt keep our hands off each other even when our spouses were around we were able to get some kind of physical contact with each other. We said in the beginning that this would just be physical not emotional, well that didnt hold true and 1st she started to fall for me and then i started to fall for her. So we backed off but that only lasted for a few days that same senario played out a few times. Then over night my she went completly cold on me out of no where, when i asked her what happened she told me nothing is wrong. Finally after 2 weeks of limited contact she asks me to meet her, she tells me that i was over thinking this affair. I dont believe i was but she had her mind set so i wasnt going to fight about it. She said she couldnt continue with doing this and i agreed, but then she kept sending me flirty texts and phone calls not nearly the same amount as in the past but they still were coming. And im not going to lie but i was still trying to keep in touch with her. Now in the past 2 weeks this girl one day wouldnt even look at me she would just hello and that would be it, oh sorry i forgot to add this in we see each other about 4xs a week because of school and kids. Then the next day she would ask me to walk with her for a half an hour like everything was fine. I guess there are a few questions i hope someone can help me out with. 1st. is it possible to have an intimate relationship with a woman for 3 months and then have her completely forget about you or does she still think of me at all because i still think about her? 2nd. I would still like to be friends with this woman as we have been friends for over 25yrs now and if you can believe it we have gone out as couples with our spouses and have had a great time all though not as much as usual? 3rd. If i stay friends with her do you think that the affair would start back up, im not going to lie i wouldnt mind if it did and i dont think she would either? I know this sounds terrible but if i did want to try and start this up again would the NC thing work or should i try something else. Thanks for your help Divorce your wife, man. You have no right to be hurting your family in such a low way.
Memphis Raines Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Sorry this is long. I had a affair recently it lasted about 3 months, this affair was with a longtime friend of mine. I am married and so is she. I am happy in my marriage all though the sex at times was a little boring the sex with your wife will always be boring to you unless she can change into someone else every year or so. thats marriage, having sex with the same person for the rest of your life can be like that. if you can't handle it, get out. she said that she has a great marriage and couuldnt understand why she was doing this. because she, like you, is fickle. i have to laugh at people that say, "I don't know why I'm doing this". bulls***. they know, they just don't want to admit it She said she had great sex all the time with her husband i think she was telling a little bit of a lie about that or else she wouldnt have been having sex with me.The 1st few months of the affair were incredible but of course, it was new, a new face to f***. there is excitement in being with someone new. and if that is what you like, then you shouldn't be married. some people can handle forsaking all others, some cant. We said in the beginning that this would just be physical not emotional, like that would have made things ok:rolleyes: She said she couldnt continue with doing this and i agreed, but then she kept sending me flirty texts and phone calls not nearly the same amount as in the past but they still were coming. And im not going to lie but i was still trying to keep in touch with her. you say this as if you are NOT a liar:confused: you are a cheater, you are lying to your wife. I guess there are a few questions i hope someone can help me out with. 1st. is it possible to have an intimate relationship with a woman for 3 months and then have her completely forget about you or does she still think of me at all because i still think about her? who cares. focusing on your marriage should be what is important to you. do you really think you are going to come into a forum where most people are dealing with the pain at the hands of someone like you, and think that we care if your AP thinks about you?? get real. 2nd. I would still like to be friends with this woman nope, no such thing any longer. not only can you not be "just" friends, it would be highly disrespectful to your wife if you did stay friends with her. but then again, we know you have no respect of regard for your wife, so that point is kind of moot. 3rd. If i stay friends with her do you think that the affair would start back up, im not going to lie i wouldnt mind if it did and i dont think she would either? I know this sounds terrible but if i did want to try and start this up again would the NC thing work or should i try something else. Thanks for your help I notice you don't mention one word about making things up to your wife. Because whether she knows about the affair or not, you are hurting her. why don't you just divorce your wife? Its obvious all you care to ask questions about is the other woman. so why stay married? Or are you going to stay married and keep disrespecting her and treating your wife like total dogs***?
OldOnTheInside Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I can't tell if this is serious or not... OP, why not invite your wife, MOW, and her husband for a foursome?
confusedinkansas Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 2nd. No you can't remain friends with her because of 3rd.....Yes the affair would start right back up again. You could try....And you probably will. (try that is) But it'll fail. Your touching each other, etc. when you think no one is looking - If that continues in front of others SOMEONE will see. You're in a very difficult situation. How will you explain to your wife that the two of you can no longer socialize with the two of them? How will she explain the same thing to her husband?
dale_gribble Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 "I would still like to be friends with this woman." You're just a POS cake-eater... your friend too. People like yourselves shouldn't bother getting married in the first place.
Recommended Posts