Emilia Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I think some men are bad at reading signals, although those are usually shy. Others are just hoping if they push their luck enough, they will be successful. I personally know guys that view this as a 'rate of attrition' and are very pushy on purpose to see how far they can take it with someone. As soon as I detect aggression from a man I shut him off and to be honest I don't give a sh** whatever he calls me. I know his game.
Arikel Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Personally I dont think I could be attracted to a person I couldnt hold a conversation with. Imagine .. lying in bed after sex .. and .. blank.
Emilia Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 So, does this apply to any dude, or just the unattractive ones? God forbid any of them are trying to be straightforward about their attraction to you and possibly want to get to know you.. Would you rather attract the dudes that try to "friend" you to get closer to you and make moves later? you can show attraction very clearly without coming across as a creep or being threatening, it usually requires practise and social skills
ScreamingTrees Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I think some men are bad at reading signals, although those are usually shy. Others are just hoping if they push their luck enough, they will be successful. I personally know guys that view this as a 'rate of attrition' and are very pushy on purpose to see how far they can take it with someone. As soon as I detect aggression from a man I shut him off and to be honest I don't give a sh** whatever he calls me. I know his game. I think I'm not very good at reading signals, but I'm not particularly aggressive about pursuing the ladies anyway, on the contrary.. I'm usually just shooting the **** with 'em, making them laugh. I just wouldn't know the signs of a female's attraction to me unless it was 100% obvious, because I've tried in the past and it just didn't work. (Not to say that in the future it wouldn't either, but I guess it was just the wrong place, wrong girl at the right time.)
ScreamingTrees Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 you can show attraction very clearly without coming across as a creep or being threatening, it usually requires practise and social skills Would it be "threatening" if someone came up to you and asked you a question, leading to a pleasant conversation? Are you talking about guys who're trying to touch strangers that they barely know, trying to push their boundaries? Outside of raunchy pick up lines and other perverse stuff, I can't think of much that a guy could say that'd be outright "threatening".. Want me to draw a blade and hold it to your throat? Now THAT'S threatening! Would social awkwardness/shyness be considered creepy, even if those people are most likely all harmless and normal like you and I? I guess it could be a subtle way for women to filter out the dweebs without looking bitchy, calling them "creepy"..
Shuffty Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Yeah, you're being creepy now. There, I told you. You don't have to have an actual weapon to act threatening, I think she just meant an aggressive, overly pushy demeanor can be considered threatening to a female.
iris219 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 So, does this apply to any dude, or just the unattractive ones? God forbid any of them are trying to be straightforward about their attraction to you and possibly want to get to know you.. Would you rather attract the dudes that try to "friend" you to get closer to you and make moves later? Attractive or not attractive, I want a guy to TALK to me, not hit on me initially. There's a difference. If a guy makes a move immediately, I tend to lose interest because he's only doing this based on how I look. Talk to me first and then decide if you're actually interested. If I'm interested, it will become clear based on my actions and behaviors. I will give him the signals to proceed past friend zone. I think these signals are very clear: being generally flirty, making little jokes/jabs, making more eye contact, a bit of touching, a lot of smiling/laughing, being very interested in the conversation. I might even cleverly work into the conversation the fact that I think he's cute or that I think we should hang out. If a woman is standing there with her arms crossed or holding her drink up against her, looking around the room, and giving you short answers to questions, you can be pretty confident that she's not interested. It's not always so black or white, but the signals do tend to be clear. Some guys say they aren't good at reading signs, but, I promise, they are so obvious, you'd have to be delusional to not get them. I think a lot of guys are trying to convince themselves they can't tell if a woman is into them when it's painfully clear that she's not.
KR10N Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I've never been annoyed by it. Apparently, they're too afraid to approach me most of the time & the only reason I know they're interested is because a friend tells me. There was however two instances where two different friends kept asking (sounded like a broken record). That time was annoying. Especially when they talk about how hott you are & make sexual comments. Very disrespectful. If a guy could just be a gentleman about it, I'd probably say yes.
Author irc333 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 Attractive or not attractive, I want a guy to TALK to me, not hit on me initially That's just it, some women think "talking" to them is "hitting" on them. Like when I hear, "I don't like it when a guy hits on me at the bookstore" Then I ask, "You mean talking or hitting on you?" Then she can't tell the difference. I've been in singles mixers and venues where if a guy is trying to just make idle chat with them, they are trying to do their best to get away from the guy. Heck, when I'm at a venue like that, and I try to talk to a guy, he has no interest in talking to me, unless I smell of nice perfume and have pretty long hair. LOL (Some people suggested that I don't just talk to the WOMEN in a social gathering, you come off as creepy, but try to mingle among both genders...making you less obvious...but that's another post)
Author irc333 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 I think I'm not very good at reading signals, but I'm not particularly aggressive about pursuing the ladies anyway, on the contrary.. I'm usually just shooting the **** with 'em, making them laugh. I just wouldn't know the signs of a female's attraction to me unless it was 100% obvious, because I've tried in the past and it just didn't work. (Not to say that in the future it wouldn't either, but I guess it was just the wrong place, wrong girl at the right time.) Agreed...one time I was at a singles event at a person's Superbowl party at their home. This woman and I were really hitting it off. She didn't bring her digital camera, but I did....and asked if I could take some pictures for her...and she gave me her email address to send them to her when I got home and for future events. (I thought this was her subtle way of showing interest) I sent her the pictures and attempted to engage her in an email conversation and also asked for her #. She said she was seeing someone, apparently the guy that came with her was her "date" or something....it was a singles event....I found it odd she brought her sig. other to a singles event. LOL I thought he was a wingman. And I asked her about this and also why she gave me her email address. She apologized, thinking that a woman just giving out her email address didn't ACTUALLY mean she was interested, and said she woudl know this for future reference. Esp. if she's on a date at a singles event mostly consisting of UN-attached men.
mr.dream merchant Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I actually have the issue of women I don't find attractive, going out of their way to talk to me lol. But I always keep things polite and charming. And if I had to call a woman a bitch out loud in front of a bunch of other people, she's probably a bitch lol.
iris219 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Agreed...one time I was at a singles event at a person's Superbowl party at their home. This woman and I were really hitting it off. She didn't bring her digital camera, but I did....and asked if I could take some pictures for her...and she gave me her email address to send them to her when I got home and for future events. (I thought this was her subtle way of showing interest) I sent her the pictures and attempted to engage her in an email conversation and also asked for her #. She said she was seeing someone, apparently the guy that came with her was her "date" or something....it was a singles event....I found it odd she brought her sig. other to a singles event. LOL I thought he was a wingman. And I asked her about this and also why she gave me her email address. She apologized, thinking that a woman just giving out her email address didn't ACTUALLY mean she was interested, and said she woudl know this for future reference. Esp. if she's on a date at a singles event mostly consisting of UN-attached men. You have to learn to distinguish between when a woman has romantic interest in you and when she’s just being nice and friendly. There is a definite difference. A woman can be friendly and interested in talking to you without having romantic interest in you. This must be why some women are cautious about being friendly with men at all--some men will take it the wrong way. She didn’t just give you her email address. She gave it to you for a specific purpose—so you could send her photos, not date her. She probably assumed you knew she was there with a date.
mr.dream merchant Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 You have to learn to distinguish between when a woman has romantic interest in you and when she’s just being nice and friendly. There is a definite difference. A woman can be friendly and interested in talking to you without having romantic interest in you. This must be why some women are cautious about being friendly with men at all--some men will take it the wrong way. She didn’t just give you her email address. She gave it to you for a specific purpose—so you could send her photos, not date her. She probably assumed you knew she was there with a date. So what exactly is a guy supposed to do to distinguish between a woman's interest and just wanting to conversate? Cause all that **** women do looks and sounds the same to me, how am I supposed to tell the difference unless she makes it really really obvious? I'll know if you like me if you make it clear, but all that subtle hint dropping and clue bull**** lol, what's that about? Just tell me you want to kick it and we'll kick it. :/
Arikel Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 But a singles event? I wouldnt fault the guy for thinking she was interested.. that was odd
KR10N Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 So what exactly is a guy supposed to do to distinguish between a woman's interest and just wanting to conversate? Cause all that **** women do looks and sounds the same to me, how am I supposed to tell the difference unless she makes it really really obvious? I'll know if you like me if you make it clear, but all that subtle hint dropping and clue bull**** lol, what's that about? Just tell me you want to kick it and we'll kick it. :/You're very blunt about this. Maybe these women think you're getting ahead of yourself & prefer to actually learn something about you rather than jump the gun.
mr.dream merchant Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 What? I don't rush anything with women lol, I actually take it as slow as possible (except for sex, that is important to me lol). I was asking how many many many men, myself included, can distinguish between when a woman is interested, and when she is just wasting my energy with conversation?
Author irc333 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 She didn’t just give you her email address. She gave it to you for a specific purpose—so you could send her photos, not date her. She probably assumed you knew she was there with a date. Bring a date to a SINGLES function? I'm sure you could even see the confusion here. She even introduced me as his "friend" You know how some people bring people to things, but won't necessarily refer to them as a "boyfriend" just yet, but "friend". It's one of those " you had to be there" situations, believe me...you had to be there I suppose. Another thing, about a month later, I saw he on a dating site.....and I emailed her at her regular email she gave me....saying, "Hey, I noticed you were on this site....I guess you're not seeing that guy anymore?" And she says, "Well, I was just taking advantage of the free weekend, we decided to get bacck together though" That's where I knew she was full of it. And people wonder why they're still single. LOL
KR10N Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 What? I don't rush anything with women lol, I actually take it as slow as possible (except for sex, that is important to me lol). I was asking how many many many men, myself included, can distinguish between when a woman is interested, and when she is just wasting my energy with conversation?If they're shy, that's one thing. But if they're having a conversation for the sole purpose to play mind games, she's obviously a lost cause. Next in line?
iris219 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Just tell me you want to kick it and we'll kick it. :/ Many women will do just this (though they might not use the term "kick it," so be on the look out for that ). I mention some of the things I do to make it clear in my above post. I think men are not being entirely honest with themselves when they say they can't read signs. Let's say a female friend is approached by a man. Can't you tell, often from across a room, without hearing any conversation, if your friend is into it or not? Women generally know if their friend needs to be "rescued." I find it hard to believe men don't possess this same skill.
iris219 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Bring a date to a SINGLES function? I'm sure you could even see the confusion here. She even introduced me as his "friend" You know how some people bring people to things, but won't necessarily refer to them as a "boyfriend" just yet, but "friend". It's one of those " you had to be there" situations, believe me...you had to be there I suppose. Another thing, about a month later, I saw he on a dating site.....and I emailed her at her regular email she gave me....saying, "Hey, I noticed you were on this site....I guess you're not seeing that guy anymore?" And she says, "Well, I was just taking advantage of the free weekend, we decided to get bacck together though" That's where I knew she was full of it. And people wonder why they're still single. LOL I'm not saying it wasn't weird that she brought a date to a singles event. It was weird. I'm not saying she was being straightforward with your about the dating site. She wasn't. What I'm saying is she wasn't interested in you romantically and probably thought she had made her intentions clear with her behavior. She's probably confused as to why you keep contacting her and she may think you're the weird the one! (Because she's thinking, I made it so clear for him. What doesn't he get?)
Author irc333 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 I'm not saying it wasn't weird that she brought a date to a singles event. It was weird. I'm not saying she was being straightforward with your about the dating site. She wasn't. What I'm saying is she wasn't interested in you romantically and probably thought she had made her intentions clear with her behavior. She's probably confused as to why you keep contacting her and she may think you're the weird the one! (Because she's thinking, I made it so clear for him. What doesn't he get?) That's the problem with most women, they hardly ever make anything clear...they're too subtle. I personally thought she was being a tease by giving me her email address....I actually thoguht that was the "GO AHEAD" signal. And I'm sure any man would think that was some kind of sign.
iris219 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 That's the problem with most women, they hardly ever make anything clear...they're too subtle. I personally thought she was being a tease by giving me her email address....I actually thoguht that was the "GO AHEAD" signal. And I'm sure any man would think that was some kind of sign. But you probably would have thought she was a presumptuous b---- if she had said, "I'll give you my email address so you can send the pictures, but only use it for that purpose and never email me again. I'm not interested in you in any way." How should she have given you her email address? What could she have done to make it clear to you she wasn't interested?
Shuffty Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 But you probably would have thought she was a presumptuous b---- if she had said, "I'll give you my email address so you can send the pictures, but only use it for that purpose and never email me again. I'm not interested in you in any way." How should she have given you her email address? What could she have done to make it clear to you she wasn't interested? Kick him in the balls and nick his camera.
KR10N Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 That's the problem with most women, they hardly ever make anything clear...they're too subtle. I personally thought she was being a tease by giving me her email address....I actually thoguht that was the "GO AHEAD" signal. And I'm sure any man would think that was some kind of sign.She gave you her e-mail in order to send pics, right? Did she have her own camera or were you using your own? If you were using your own personal camera, I can see why she gave you her e-mail (only to send her the pics). Problem solved. People request these things all the time, there are some real memory junkies out there.
Author irc333 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 But you probably would have thought she was a presumptuous b---- if she had said, "I'll give you my email address so you can send the pictures, but only use it for that purpose and never email me again. I'm not interested in you in any way." How should she have given you her email address? What could she have done to make it clear to you she wasn't interested? Not giving me her email address at all. I figured since she was giving it to me without asking, it just further reinforced me thinking she had an interest in me. She also wanted me to use her email address for up coming events and such. Which I thought to mean "Upcoming events that you and I can attend, if you ask me out".
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